Sew, What's Up

Sew What’s Up Presents

The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Bama
Date: 07-12-2003, 09:24 PM (1 of 11)
Maybe it's just me, but I thought this was kind of tacky. I was invited to a wedding reception of a co-worker. (just the reception, they went to the courthouse to get married almost 2 weeks ago) The invitations said to come between 11:00 and 1:00 and visit with the new couple and that there would be a money tree to give gifts. I was told they decided to do that because this group of friends had not given her a bridal shower (though we had given her one at work)
I went to it today, but due to a problem we'd had with our water at home this morning, I didn't arrive until 12:15. I thought it would be okay since there was still supposed to be 45 minutes left until it was over, and I wanted to take her a wallhanging that she had asked me to make for her a while back. (she planned to pay me but I gave it as another wedding gift)
Anyway, this is what really got to me. Her hostess had already packed up all the refreshments and decorations. The table was loaded with tupperware containers still full of food and jugs of punch and there were still people arriving. People were bringing in gifts and had surprised looks on their faces, and nobody even offered them a cup of punch. They just kept folding up chairs. One lady said that she had cut her vacation short and left from the beach this morning to be there. She came in right after I did. The hostess just stood over her tupperware containers looking at us like she was waiting for us to leave.
I know the bride had nothing to do with how it was handled, and was probably embarrassed, so I just gave her the gift and left.

I came home and told hubby about it and he said maybe they just had the reception hall rented for the 2 hours. I still thought it was tacky. The time on the invitation shouldn't have included clean up time.
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000
Total posts: 2116
From: MaryW
Date: 07-13-2003, 07:42 AM (2 of 11)
Bama, that is terrible. Sounds more like a "bring gifts" time than a reception or social gathering.

I think someone really messed up.

We were invited to a wedding years ago. It was for a neice of mine that I did not know very well at all. We broke our necks buying a suitable gift and drove 3 hrs. to the wedding.

After the wedding we were all supposed to attend the reception. We sat in a hall for over 2 hrs. on hard chairs with a ton of people we had never seen before. We finally left and went home, no meal and no thank you from the couple.

How come some occasions turn out like this?
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
From: luvmymunchkins
Date: 07-13-2003, 12:14 PM (3 of 11)
I happen to think it was tacky, but I agree the bride may not have known. The place where my wedding was held started packing up while people were there too! I was surprised. Also, about the money tree, I find those tacky. My MIL suggested we get one for our wedding, I said no, she brought one anyway :sick:

User: luvmymunchkins
Member since: 04-28-2003
Total posts: 32
From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 07-13-2003, 02:25 PM (4 of 11)
the invitation said "between 11:00 and 1:00".. That says 'drop in any time in between' to anyone who speaks 'southern'.. Were the planners maybe not familiar with our hospitality methods in this part of the country?? I have found in recent years , people from all over the world, not just the US, settling in our part of the country and a lot of them are not familiar with our entertainment customs here.. I do hate it when people are rude that way, though and don't even offer something to drink, especially in this hot, muggy weather..That is almost criminal in my neighborhood.. :bg: :bg: :cool:
Sew With Love
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002
Total posts: 2022
From: Raine
Date: 07-13-2003, 03:15 PM (5 of 11)
No, we northerners would assume that we could come to the reception anytime between 11:00 and 1:00. I find that weddings and showers are becoming more and more tacky.

A friend of mine recently received an invitation. On the back of the invitation was a map and a listing of where the couple was registered. And after the listing of where they were registered, it said something like "cash gifts are always welcome". I've been married 21 years, and the custom at the time was to call the bride or groom's mother to ask where the couple was registered.

At times, it feels like all they want is the gift.
User: Raine
Member since: 04-19-2000
Total posts: 259
From: Bama
Date: 07-14-2003, 06:38 AM (6 of 11)
Some people really surprise me when it comes to weddings and showers.:nervous: I think it's really tacky to suggest giving money on the invitation.

I'm still shocked over how this reception turned out. I noticed when I got there that lots of people were standing outside the reception hall talking, even though it was over 90 degrees F outside. I guess they felt like they were being run out of there. At least it was at a large park, so there was some shade.
My daughter and son (who tells it like it is:nervous: ) was with me and before we could get all the way out the door he said "do you see a Coke machine anywhere?" :whacky:

I hope my friend wasn't very upset with how things turned out. It'll be interesting to hear the whole story when we get back to work.:bg:
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000
Total posts: 2116
From: Chrysantha
Date: 07-14-2003, 11:16 AM (7 of 11)
The last weddings I was invitied to were tacky too and I made sure the familys knew it, I spoke right up. There seems to be a severe lack of manners these days, not to mention lack of common sense and propriety. People often think they're 'owed' something, they aren't. Getting married is just that, getting married. Not a time for asking for money. If you have none, DON'T get married. It's not a time for asking for gifts, if you need that much, then YOU need to pay for it, not everyone else. I keep reading of horror stories where people are invited to and then expected to pay for the wedding. Who do these people think they are ? Someone needs to slap some sense into these people and then slap their parents, because they certainly didn't teach them better.
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: Aimee S
Date: 07-18-2003, 01:52 PM (8 of 11)
That does sound tacky.

The last wedding I went to was My SIL on hubby's side

I spent 30 hours making her a winter wounderland cape to wear over her wedding dress. hand sewed the fur trim around and all. Her mother asked what I was giving them as a wedding gift. I told her my time for the cape. she said it was expected of me to do this cause I am a seamstress for trade and that is what family does. I also made three tuxs for my boys. Well I got my SIL a book on how to deal with your In laws. I hope I made the point.
The more you disaprove, the more fun I am having!
User: Aimee S
Member since: 02-23-2003
Total posts: 488
From: MaryW
Date: 07-20-2003, 09:39 AM (9 of 11)
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
From: Bama
Date: 07-20-2003, 11:19 AM (10 of 11)
Nice choice Aimee.:bg:
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000
Total posts: 2116
From: Dede
Date: 07-30-2003, 08:19 AM (11 of 11)
Good move Aimee. I remember being invited to someone's shower but never received an invite to the wedding. Well, when she got pregnant, she organized her own baby shower (she also planned her own wedding shower) and asked me if I would go. I tried to tell her nicely that she was lucky I didn't ask for the wedding present back but I somehow think it didn't come out so nicely :nc: I might have been a tad too verbal.
User: Dede
Member since: 03-23-2001
Total posts: 469
Sew, What's Up
Search the “Sew What’s New” Archive:
Visit Sew What’s Up for the latest sewing and quilting tips and discussions.
This page was originally located on Sew What’s New ( at