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The Sew What’s New Archive
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From: brendalou
Date: 12-29-2003, 08:16 PM (1 of 15)
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Never fails, I try to do something nice for someone and it ends up bitting me in the butt!!!! I had someone literally scream at me today at work because I swapped out their monitor, and I gave them a nicer one.... he was later forced to come apologize to be by the company president, but really, you try to do something nice for someone, and you get hit in the backfire..... why can't people just be nice -BrendaLou ==Brenda Lou
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User: brendalou
Member since: 10-07-2002 Total posts: 2 |
From: james.diane
Date: 12-30-2003, 12:46 AM (2 of 15)
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Know how you feel! I am the manager of a care home and have to listen to relatives complaining all the time, and I have to apologise for things that other people have/ haven't done - and that really annoys me! If everyone was nice all the time life would be boring!!
Diane :)
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User: james.diane
Member since: 09-23-2003 Total posts: 100 |
From: Mother in Law
Date: 12-30-2003, 12:55 AM (3 of 15)
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It would be nice to have everyone happy all the time but I'd be miserable, I wouldn't have anything to gripe about. ROFLMBO!!!!! Susie |
User: Mother in Law
Member since: Total posts: |
From: Chrysantha
Date: 12-30-2003, 11:24 AM (4 of 15)
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I solved the 'be nice to everyone, no matter what they say to me' problem...I either tell them what I think or walk away. I always try to be nice, but sometimes it just isn't gonna happen that way. I get annoyed (a lot sometimes) by stupid little things, so I either have to let it go or get mad...I prefer these days to let it go... But I WON'T let people yell at me for nothing...I fight back. I had a Sears salesman yell at me before Christmas..I yelled back and told him to leave me the hell alone, then I told his manager and Sears central. (not that they care or will do anything about it, but at least I tried) I wasn't buying anything in Sears, I was walking through to get into the mall, he accosted me with a clipboard he shoved under my nose (it had an ad for vinyl siding) before he started his spiel, I said no thanks, I have a brick house with vinyl soffits, I don't want your products. Well that set him off, telling me to shut up, that I NEEDED to listen to him BEFORE I started talking..then he called me Honey...well my husband just stood back while I let the man have it...everyone in the store was looking, but I didn't care..NO one has the right to yell at me for anything and NO ONE calls me Honey, for ANY reason... (many years ago my husband bought me a coffee mug that says, "Men who call women Honey, Baby and Sweetheart should have their tiny little peckers cut off"...he bought it because some man called me Sweetheart and told me I didn't know how to run the ac in my car, in the desert...it was broken, but the man refused to look at it...it was at a local dealership in Las Vegas...he was fired when I complained.) 
Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414 
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From: MaryW
Date: 12-30-2003, 11:32 AM (5 of 15)
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I get annoyed a lot too. I have learned to take a deep breath and shut up! Most of the time it is the right move, but if I am surprised by something totally off the cuff, my mouth is moving. You can be sure of that. My daughter is the same way and we have had some real free for alls around here lately. Not nice at all. However, most of the time I can keep my mouth shut long enough to say the right thing. Whew! MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: talking_head
Date: 12-30-2003, 11:41 AM (6 of 15)
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Whoa! I can NEVER tell rude people how rude they are. My mother and DH think I let people walk over me, but my Dad's the same too. We are just too scared to be 'not polite'. But I have a simple rule for dealing with rude people. If its a woman, she is PMS-ing or Menopause-ing (depending on the age), if its man (for some reason, women are more rude to me than men), I think to myself, he should have been a woman... (with PMS and/or Menopause) LOL.. Its a silly way to convince myself, but it helps me while the wave of momentary anger passes!!!!! Actually, DH aunt is really good at handling rude people. We were at Macy's shopping after Thanksgiving day. I picked up a sweater I thought was on sale, but wasn't sure of how much it would cost me, so I go and stand in the line with a few other things and when my tuen comes, I ask the cashier to do a price check. She sighs does the price check, barks the price at me with a "Does this mean you don't want it?" and before I can say anything she just tosses the sweater at the back of the counter. I was so stunned!!!! DH's aunt knowing how I am, butted in, saying, "I know its been a busy morning for you, its crazy in here, and I really think you should take a break!" That was great way of handling her. Although we got no apology, I could see the cashier-woman certainly did not expect this.
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Cheers! Savani |
User: talking_head
Member since: 12-17-2003 Total posts: 90 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 12-31-2003, 08:45 AM (7 of 15)
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But I have a simple rule for dealing with rude people. If its a woman, she is PMS-ing or Menopause-ing (depending on the age), if its man (for some reason, women are more rude to me than men), I think to myself, he should have been a woman... (with PMS and/or Menopause) LOL.. I refuse attribute rudeness to biology or equate rudeness with femininity. The very concept is offensive and has been used for centuries to trivialize important and serious concerns of women. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: talking_head
Date: 12-31-2003, 11:53 AM (8 of 15)
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But I have a simple rule for dealing with rude people. If its a woman, she is PMS-ing or Menopause-ing (depending on the age), if its man (for some reason, women are more rude to me than men), I think to myself, he should have been a woman... (with PMS and/or Menopause) LOL.. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I refuse attribute rudeness to biology or equate rudeness with femininity. The very concept is offensive and has been used for centuries to trivialize important and serious concerns of women. I am sorry if you were offended by my statement. I am a woman myself who suffers from mild PMS, and in no way am I trying to 'trivialize' the issue. My point is, that there might be reason why the person is rude on a particular occassion. So instead of trying to retort in an even ruder way, I try and understand if there might be a reason and the most simplest one that jumps to mind is PMS. C'mmon don't we all become a little overwhelmed and less tolerant on some days? PMS is a serious disorder(and correct me if I am wrong) only if it prevents one from leading a normal life, a couple of bad days.. well..I can live with that  Oh! yes, some people might be habitually rude and blunt, but well... I am atleast giving them the benefit of doubt.But all said and done, men and women do express anger and resentment in different ways and seen from this angle, it sometimes becomes difficult to seperate behavior and biology. When angry, men tend to be more aggressive in action while women I guess tend to be more snappy (but then, that's just my 2c worth!!) Happy (and stress-free) 2004 to you all! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cheers! Savani |
User: talking_head
Member since: 12-17-2003 Total posts: 90
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From: MaryW
Date: 12-31-2003, 03:13 PM (9 of 15)
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You are both correct to a degree. Some rudeness is immediate and off the cuff. I am not so much rude as I am impatient. It has nothing to do with what time of the month it is. It's me and my quick temper and reactions. Definitely a major problem for me at times. It affects my husband and Jordan. I have to try and remember to take a deep breath and bite my tongue. Other rudeness is deliberate and mean spirited. I have experienced this just as everyone else has at one time or another. I know PMS is a real problem for some. If this leads to rudeness and problems every month then a trip to the doctor is in order. Just my two cents worth. MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: talking_head
Date: 12-31-2003, 03:56 PM (10 of 15)
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True, Mary W.
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Cheers! Savani |
User: talking_head
Member since: 12-17-2003 Total posts: 90
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From: plrlegal
Date: 12-31-2003, 05:30 PM (11 of 15)
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My husband has a tendency to be rude to people, especially sales people, if they don't react or behave in the manner he thinks they should, and it embarasses and infuriates me when he behaves like that. I don't believe I've ever seen an instance when rudeness accomplished anything except to spread rudeness. I have found that when someone is deliberately rude to me if I respond in a kind manner, instead of with more rudeness, the person being rude is more often than not embarassed about their behavior. And I agree with Mary, what is going on in my personal life (pms or otherwise) is no excuse for being rude to others. I'm astonished at how many parents do not bother in this day and time to teach their children even the fundamentals of politness. Patsy Patsy
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User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001 Total posts: 318 |
From: MaryW
Date: 12-31-2003, 06:08 PM (12 of 15)
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That is such a good point Patsy. Some of them don't have a good clue about telephone manners, or letting someone have their seat or even just saying excuse me. I am ruthless with Jordan, and he still forgets sometimes. I know he thinks I am a nag, but I can't stand for these young guys to rush by an older lady in the mall or push past someone in a doorway. It makes me crazy. 
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: james.diane
Date: 01-01-2004, 10:48 PM (13 of 15)
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I agree with you - I've always taught my kids how to treat other people with respect. Strangers often comment on how polite my kids are - I brought them up to believe that good manners cost nothing - treat other people as you would like to be treated yourself.
Diane :)
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User: james.diane
Member since: 09-23-2003 Total posts: 100 |
From: Magot
Date: 01-02-2004, 09:26 AM (14 of 15)
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They had a good manners week at our local school ( age 14-18) where people tried hard to open doors for each other and so on. One of my daughters friends got an award for this, whereas Katie, who always does this, was ignored. Great encouragement! As a young person she has found that it is older folk who are ruder - old ladies in particular seem to regard it as their right in our neck of the woods to push to the front of queues and so on and complain about young people all the time. She has had some pretty rough treatment from people who assume she is going to be rude and abusive because she is a teenager. We have just about convinced her that complaining in shops is not rude if the item is faulty, and you don't need to be rude to do so! love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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From: plrlegal
Date: 01-02-2004, 05:55 PM (15 of 15)
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Magot I agree that you can lodge a complaint in the places you are doing business without being rude. I also agree that there are teenagers/young people in our world today who do have good manners. I guess we just notice the ones who don't have good manners more. In my opinion, that is because the bad ones have had a lot more publicity than the good ones. Tell your daughter to just keep being polite and in the long run, it will pay off in her favor; and Mary, Jordan is probably like most of us were at his age; nag, nag, nag was all we thought our parents knew how to do. However, thank goodness, my parents did not let up, so keep up the good work, he'll appreciate you for it some day. Patsy Patsy
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User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001 Total posts: 318 |
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