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From: Bama
Date: 02-13-2004, 09:40 PM (1 of 16)
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I really need some help here. Maybe some of the cat people here can relate. Both my daughter and I both are very attached to our cats. One of them was missing for several days and came home last weekend injured, probably from being hit by a car days before. Her tail was broken and partially torn from her at the base. She also had wounds on her hips. DH said I should go ahead and put her down. I couldn't stand dd's begging so I took the cat to the vet. He said she had a 50/50 chance and if we could get the infection cleared up in a week or so, he could amputate the tail. He said if it didn't clear up, it probably meant that there's too much circulation damage, and then we would have to put her to sleep. I've been cleaning her and giving medicine twice a day since last weekend. The hip wounds are fine now, but the wound around her tail is getting worse. Now she can't control herself to make it to the litter box. My problem now is with my 12 yo daughter. I've been talking to her all week about how sometimes it's more humane to put an animal to sleep than to let them die slowly and suffer. She's so mad at me now. Like it's my fault. Any advice to anything else I can say? I read an article in Dear Abby a month or so ago but now I can't find it. It was a poem about the master having to put his dog to sleep when it was too sick to make the decision itself. Anyone ever read it? I thought it might help her. |
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000 Total posts: 2116 
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From: Mother in Law
Date: 02-13-2004, 11:29 PM (2 of 16)
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I haven't read Abby in a while but it's so hard for a child to understand that concept. To them how can death be the best thing when it seems so final to them. Maybe if you try to explain to her that her cat is really in a lot of pain and it would be mean for you to keep her in pain and not let God take her to heaven. If that is what you believe. That's what we believed as children that our pets went to heaven just like we do. Some religions don't believe that way. If somehow someone can explain that by letting her suffer because she wants her to live is not being kind to the cat. It's being selfish because she loves her and don't want her to go away. But it's the kindest thing she can do for her cat. This is hard for me, my Grandson buried more fish, gerbils, hamsters, cats and dogs then I care to count. It was hard on him at first but eventually he over came each one and got another pet. His puppy he just got about 2 months ago has an inlarged heart and may have problems down the road. Poor kids. That's the first taste of real life they have to deal with in life is losing their pets. Hugs to you Bama and your daughter. I'll be praying for her and you to get through this. Susie |
User: Mother in Law
Member since: Total posts: |
From: carman
Date: 02-14-2004, 11:07 AM (3 of 16)
| take your daughter to the vet with you and have the vet talk to her, that way it is not you saying the words. i don't think she is really blaming you, she just is mad at the world and of course you are first and easy to blame, when you have emtions you don't know how to deal with i thnk it natural for her to try take it outon someone, but i really think taking her to the vet may make a big differance. |
User: carman
Member since: 04-17-2000 Total posts: 692 
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From: Bama
Date: 02-14-2004, 03:22 PM (4 of 16)
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Thank you ladies. I never thought to tell her we were being selfish wanting the cat to keep living. I think she's starting to accept it now. She says she doesn't want to go to the vet with me. She believes me now. I told her what will happen to the cat if we make her live much longer. Our cat will be put down tomorrow. I thought it would be better to go ahead and do it this weekend instead of waiting til a school day. I'll let my daughter pick out a spot at the edge of the woods to bury the cat. She's had another cat die before but she's never had one that we had to put to sleep. 
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User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000 Total posts: 2116
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From: Magot
Date: 02-14-2004, 04:29 PM (5 of 16)
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I had to have mine put down a couple of weks ago. Poor things' kidneys had packed up and he was in a bad way, starting with blood poisoning. He was not going to survive and it was not fair on him to put him through days of pain and fog where he hardly recognised us. I took my daughter with me to the vets to have him put down and she was relieved to see that it was so quick and painless and that he was now out of pain. It is a valuable time, learning to be responsible for an animal meaning making the big decisions. A death of a pet is as real a death as that of a family member to a child as well as to adults. Give her a chance to pet the cat when you get back so she can say goodbye and my besy wishes to you both.
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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From: MaryW
Date: 02-15-2004, 12:12 PM (6 of 16)
Sorry Bama. Been thru this type of situation.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: Magot
Date: 02-23-2004, 02:42 PM (7 of 16)
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How has it been Bama, how has your daughter coped?
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626
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From: Sewhappie
Date: 02-24-2004, 01:35 PM (8 of 16)
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I had that sad task of taking our dog to the vet 2 years ago to be put down. It was as if she knew something was wrong and could not be fixed, I stayed with her as the doctor gave her the injections only to see that she had gotten ahold of my shirt sleeve with her mouth, I just held her head and let the sleeve stay. It seem to reassure her that I was there in her time of pain and suffering. I cried and cried. I also had to take our hamster to the vet and have him put down this past spring, I cried for that poor little guy too. I think I will be a basket case when it comes to my cats. |
User: Sewhappie
Member since: 10-27-2001 Total posts: 1427 |
From: Bama
Date: 02-24-2004, 07:47 PM (9 of 16)
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It was hard. The worst part was taking my daughter out to see the cat. I had the cat wrapped up in a towel outside. Dd had given the cat her pink beach towel. She cried for over an hour. I kept telling her we needed to pick out a spot to bury the cat and she kept saying, "but I'm not finished telling her good-bye." She finally was ready but ran back inside to get something for the cat. She wrote her a note, made her a Valentine, and got her a little kitty necklace with pearls and bells that had belonged to an older cat, and put it on her. For several days she would burst out in tears when she thought about. About the third day, she was crying about the cat, and then she cried about DH's uncle that had died a few weeks ago. Then she started laughing. I asked what was so funny. She said, "Do you think Callie has met Uncle hank yet?" I had to laugh too. She's feeling alot better now.  DH mixed up some concrete this past weekend and made a headstone for the kitty and dd and I wrote her name on it. |
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000 Total posts: 2116
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From: Bama
Date: 02-24-2004, 07:51 PM (10 of 16)
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sewhappie, that's sad about your dog. She must have known you were helping her. It's going to be hard when my dogs die too. They're getting pretty old. Our pets are a part of our family. My furbabies. |
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000 Total posts: 2116
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From: Mother in Law
Date: 02-24-2004, 09:12 PM (11 of 16)
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Oh Bama that is so sweet of your hubby to do that for your daughter. Most men I know would say "the cat died that's life" He's very special to be that feeling. My sons would do that for their kids but most men I know wouldn't. Hugs Susie |
User: Mother in Law
Member since: Total posts: |
From: Sewhappie
Date: 02-25-2004, 02:17 PM (12 of 16)
| When our first cat, Murphy died 11 yrs ago. My poor husband cried his heart out while digging the hole to bury him in. THIS coming from a man who claims to not like cats!!!!! We now have "5" furballs in the house and the minute he comes home and sits down, 3 of them are in his lap and loving all over him and he justs eats it up. I told him that they have a way of worming into your heart when you least expect it. He's just a big softy!!!! |
User: Sewhappie
Member since: 10-27-2001 Total posts: 1427 |
From: MaryW
Date: 02-25-2004, 05:23 PM (13 of 16)
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These animals are just as dear as children. I put down both our dog and cat, hubby couldn't do it. Jordan wants a dog so bad, but I have to think. Do I want more to do, more mess to clean up after. He loves animals but is irresponsible for them. I really don't want more to nag about.  Should I get him a dog, or cat. Cats are more independent, not as much mess or as loud. Our last dog was a real yapper, high pitched and constant. Don't ever get a poodle mix unless you can block out the barking. MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: Mother in Law
Date: 02-25-2004, 07:56 PM (14 of 16)
| My mother had a little puppy that was a yellper and it like to drove me crazy. It was a little thing with long hair and a nervous little stinker. I forgot the name of breed it was but she named it Precious. Hubby just told me the name of it, a Pomaranian. Good grief it was a barker. It barked at it's own shadow and was spoiled rotten. |
User: Mother in Law
Member since: Total posts: |
From: Magot
Date: 02-26-2004, 02:29 AM (15 of 16)
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I'm a cat person. small yappy dogs make me want to put on my Big Spikey Boots.
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626
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From: carman
Date: 02-26-2004, 11:59 AM (16 of 16)
we have a cat that is 1 1/2 that we took off the farm at 3 months old, well, this cat now has NO memory of the farm, she crawls under our covers when after we are asleep and when i am gone a few hours, i get greeted at the door by her NOT the dogs and she has this 5 minute meowing fit on me, like i am suppose to explain my absence to her, lol. i can not imagine leaving this cat alone for week end. oh yes, she is now an inside cat, i teased her when the deck was full of snow and just as she got to about 2 feet from the snow she would meow. like, PLEASE don't put me down, so now the kids like to hear her moew as she gets close, yet we never put her down, yep some farm cat this princess is 
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User: carman
Member since: 04-17-2000 Total posts: 692
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