Sew What’s Up Presents
The Sew What’s New Archive
This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and
quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was
retired in August 2007. It is being provided by
“Sew What’s Up,”
which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Chrysantha
Date: 04-17-2004, 06:29 PM (1 of 20)
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I'm a nice person (most of the time) I go out of my way to help my neighbors when they need it, but I keep to myself most of the time...I don't ask anyone for anything and I don't make a habit of being nosey. (in fact I could care less what my neighobrs do, as long as they don't do it in my home or yard). Now....I have this neighbor..she rarely speaks to me, she lives next door, 2 small girls and shes married. In the past two weeks shes appeared on my doorstep wanting me to first, use all her old prom dresses to make her a quilt. She didn't ask, said, I want you to make me a quilt..I said, no....I don't think I can do that... Tonight it was, I want you to embroider my girls names on these towels...I'll pay you... I've never told this woman I quilt...I've never told her I have an embroidery machine..someone has, and I think I know who... I really don't want the neighbors at my door asking me to do things like this...I don't run a business, it's a hobby for ME only. I'm polite and say I'm busy or I have too many other things to do, but I'm really NOT going to do it.... Do the neighbors have a right to be snotty about it ??? And do I really have to be nice about it....??? I'd rather just say no to their faces and be done with it....no dirty looks from THEM. And it would be nice to be spoken to, without wanting something from me all the time... I'm not into making enemies here, but this kinda thing gets on that one nerve I have. Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414 
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From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 04-17-2004, 09:25 PM (2 of 20)
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Chrys, last Sunday after church , I was returning a bib to a lady in a wheelchair, and got caught. The lady who jumped me said, 'oh, I didn't know you sewed. I have been looking for someone to fix my raincoat.' I just politely said, 'I do not sew for the public. It is a hobby and it ceases to be fun when it turns into a business deal..However, there is an alterations shop up the road about a half mile next door to the Presbyterian Church.'.(I gave her the shop name..) She was not insulted , and I was happy because I had dodged the bullet..The lady in wheelchair had asked me to make her some bibs because she lost her source. I just couldn't say no to her.. and I make bibs anyway. (these are just bigger and have velcro to stitch on.. )Of course this is different from your circumstance, because I like this lady and didn't want to make her angry or embarass her, but I was thinking on my feet to give her an answer she was happy with and it worked..So... just tell neighbor next time she asks, that you don't sew for public..Now, unless she is brilliant she will not realize you are telling her she is only public to you, not a friend..When I tell someone that is a friend that, I always soften it with more information, so they don't get upset with me.. 
Sew With Love
Libby |
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002 Total posts: 2022 
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From: Aimee S
Date: 04-17-2004, 10:55 PM (3 of 20)
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I am in the business but I still have people ask me to do it free. I can tell paying people no. some wont take no so I tell them my rate. I have two rates esstially. One for things I like to do and one for things I dont like to do. and the rate i have is a pro rate. Like embroidery is $1.00 per 1000 stitches and a name can be 7000 stitches. Tell her no I dont do it for profit I do it for myself. The lady might be doing it as an ice breaker to get to know you. The more you disaprove, the more fun I am having!
http://photos.yahoo.com/aimeehs29 |
User: Aimee S
Member since: 02-23-2003 Total posts: 488 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 04-18-2004, 08:56 AM (4 of 20)
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New computer and even Mary is giving me a hard time -- sheez I only sew what I want, when I want and for who I want. When people ask me to sew for them that is what I tell them, even my daughters. They are the only ones who ask any more. I think they miss hearing me say no. People don't know what they are asking. They don't realize the time and emotional energy that goes into it. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: Karebear
Date: 04-18-2004, 07:58 PM (5 of 20)
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I find this very weird!! sorry. I cannot even imagine that one who wants to find out WHO you are by asking to "quilt" for them... then also "embroider" a design.... More info has been transferred... then a common smile or hello.. Maybe thru the neighbors... I have a dog.. and I do dog sit on occassion.. NO ONE in my complex has sent a letter "under door" or other wise... to see if I would walk their dog... No idea.. but they know you have a sewing machine, embroidery machine.. I would get HOME owners insurance... right quick... K Karen
http://www.dancingwicks.com "If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." --Antoine de Saint-Exupery |
User: Karebear
Member since: 01-24-2002 Total posts: 338 
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From: Dede
Date: 04-19-2004, 08:18 AM (6 of 20)
| I have a bad feeling about that one. I'll bet you dollar to donut if you say yes, you will not be able to breath with your own lungs from now on. Be nice and stick to your guns. |
User: Dede
Member since: 03-23-2001 Total posts: 469 |
From: sewingrandma
Date: 04-19-2004, 10:13 AM (7 of 20)
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I have been asked repeatedly at work if I would make scrubs for all the nurses so we could "match". I explain to them that I don't sew for others except for my children and grandchildren, and that I don't do well when I have a time frame involved. Others have asked if I would do alterations for them, and I give the same answer but give the name of a local shop that does beautiful work. I can't imagine a neighbor just coming to your door and telling you this. It takes all kinds to make this world go round. It sort of reminded me of a neighbor we had when DH was in the Air Force and we lived in base housing. We definitely had some forward people there.
Brockie
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User: sewingrandma
Member since: 03-06-2003 Total posts: 432 |
From: MaryW
Date: 04-19-2004, 12:05 PM (8 of 20)
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Nope, wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: paroper
Date: 04-19-2004, 04:39 PM (9 of 20)
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People who don't sew think that we somehow pick up a magazine and somehow wave a magic wand over it and in seconds we have the original Paris fashion of our choice. They are clueless about the time away from the family and in general what is involved. They don't understand fabrics, patterns, sizes (believe me, everyone I ever sewed for seemed to think they were a size 6), cost, NOTHING....it is all free and soooo easy and how they wish they could...but since you can perform this magic, you should be thrilled to do it for them..usually free of charge. She probably saw something that you had made and a friend commented that you made it so now she wants you to sew for her. Why don't you tell her that if she is interested in sewing, she should visit your local sewing machine dealer and maybe take some lessons at a vo tech or something?
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: Sheri
Date: 04-20-2004, 11:22 AM (10 of 20)
| I make my own jeans, complete with embroidered pockets. I have a friend who decided I should make her a few pair. I told her, "it takes about 12 hours to make one pair, plus at least 2-3 hours to fit the pattern correctly, and at $15 per hour plus cost of materials, well, they are pretty expensive." She hadn't offered payment. Now she knew I would not sew for her for free, or even for what the jeans would cost her at a store. Her answer: "You're pretty slow. I would have thought you'd be a lot faster than that." to which I replied, "sometimes I am, when I don't care how they look." |
User: Sheri
Member since: 12-04-2000 Total posts: 126 
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From: MaryW
Date: 04-20-2004, 12:25 PM (11 of 20)
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She needs a good slap!
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: Dede
Date: 04-20-2004, 12:45 PM (12 of 20)
| She's a friend???? |
User: Dede
Member since: 03-23-2001 Total posts: 469 |
From: Sheri
Date: 04-20-2004, 02:53 PM (13 of 20)
| well, sort of. I haven't seen her now for about 4 months. But I don't think it was due to our conversation about jeans--that was a year ago. We both live(d) in the Cedar Wildfire path. She was burned out, I wasn't. She moved and so far hasn't called to let me know where. So maybe no, not really a friend after all. |
User: Sheri
Member since: 12-04-2000 Total posts: 126
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From: jennih
Date: 04-23-2004, 08:19 AM (14 of 20)
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I think that people who don't sew don't realise how much fabric costs today. With the influx of cheap clothing stores making your own clothes can be expensive (but worth it!), let alone making them for friends. I find it very difficult to say no to people, but now that I have 2 kids under 3 I barely have time to sew for them and I have just had to start saying NO! As others have said once you cost it out (including labour) people back off real quick. |
User: jennih
Member since: 04-23-2004 Total posts: 4 |
From: joannequilts
Date: 04-23-2004, 08:58 AM (15 of 20)
| LOL Mary you are strating to sound like me. I just tell people they can't afford me lol |
User: joannequilts
Member since: 12-22-2000 Total posts: 3070 
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From: MaryW
Date: 04-23-2004, 11:58 AM (16 of 20)
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I wrote this a very long time ago, but it's fitting perfectly into this conversation. http://www.sew-whats-new.com/thecost.html MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: Mother in Law
Date: 04-23-2004, 12:21 PM (17 of 20)
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Pretty smart solutions Mary. Right on target.
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User: Mother in Law
Member since: Total posts: |
From: mommydionne
Date: 04-24-2004, 08:19 PM (18 of 20)
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Usually I draw the line at sewing for others too, the size 6 thing and deadlines (3kids, fulltime job... I don't sew just collect fabric now) but.... am going to do my 17 year old babysitter's prom dress from a picture she drew no less! lucky for me I found a pattern in one of my old burda mags almost exactly like she wants. stay away from people who don't understand how much effort it takes though, they can be very scary!! Jeanette Jeanette
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User: mommydionne
Member since: 01-08-2004 Total posts: 838 
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From: MaryW
Date: 04-25-2004, 06:02 AM (19 of 20)
Jeanette, welcome to Sew Whats New.  How lucky is that! Finding a pattern almost exactly what you need. MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: mommydionne
Date: 04-26-2004, 04:55 PM (20 of 20)
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yes... I was VERY happy about finding that!
Jeanette
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User: mommydionne
Member since: 01-08-2004 Total posts: 838
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