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The Sew What’s New Archive
This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and
quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was
retired in August 2007. It is being provided by
“Sew What’s Up,”
which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: marianne_hess
Date: 05-18-2004, 03:30 PM (1 of 19)
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I am a recently divorced mom with two young daughters, 7 and 4 years. My best friend has also recently separated and we've hooked up with a third girl going through the same thing. It's been great because we get together every few weeks and have a really fun time. My problem is, they have all met new "friends" already (including my ex-husband) and I am still dateless. While I am happy that they have been so lucky, I am also feeling a little jealous. I am only in my early 30's and pretty average looking. I just needed to put my feelings out there (this is better than any diary!!!!!) Thanks! PS. Any ideas on where to meet NICE men? (; |
User: marianne_hess
Member since: 07-10-2001 Total posts: 48 |
From: Aimee S
Date: 05-18-2004, 10:19 PM (2 of 19)
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Do you have a single group at church. I met all my guys at the bar with my girlfriends and they were not all winners. I did get lucky with one but his family well that is another post. There was this movie This gal was looking for a guy that she could not find a one. Her friend told her a story. When she was little that she would go looking for Ladybugs and would search high and low and not a one. Then after a long day looking she would fall asleep in the meadow. when she awoke she was covered in ladybugs. She told her friend to get busy on something other then looking for men and she would be covered with Ladybugs. everytime I found a guy I was not looking for one. The more you disaprove, the more fun I am having!
http://photos.yahoo.com/aimeehs29 |
User: Aimee S
Member since: 02-23-2003 Total posts: 488 
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From: natural blue
Date: 05-18-2004, 10:55 PM (3 of 19)
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Well said Aimee, I couldn't agree more! p.s. We all feel jealousy from time to time. Admitting it takes the sting away though. I wish you well on your new path! 
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User: natural blue
Member since: 05-14-2004 Total posts: 10 |
From: Saydee
Date: 05-18-2004, 11:16 PM (4 of 19)
| I agree with Aimee's post. The more you focus on it the less likely it will happen and in particular with the right person. My friends mother was so worried about growing old alone she had lots of relationships but unfortunately she has aged and all alone. She was going out where she thought single men were and it was all in the wrong places. The years slipped by and suddenly she was old and had waisted to many years looking instead of working on all the other important things and letting it all take its course. It will happen and you have time on your side so enjoy what you have and make lots of wonderful friends and one day Mr Right will pop into your life when you least expect it. Take care. |
User: Saydee
Member since: 05-07-2004 Total posts: 68 
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From: MaryW
Date: 05-19-2004, 08:45 AM (5 of 19)
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Years ago there was an organization called Parents without Partners. PWP for short, I don't know if it is still active or not.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: marianne_hess
Date: 05-19-2004, 09:36 AM (6 of 19)
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Our church doesn't have a singles group. I wish it did! Bars are definitely not the place to meet the kind of guys I want to form a friendship with. I didn't think I was actively looking, I guess I'm just worried that I will lose my "going-out" friends as they will be immersed in their new relationships (as is natural). With all the other changes in our lives (we're moving), I don't have time for a relationship now anyway! I'd like to just take some time and enjoy my children. Like you said, sometimes you just need to admit it out loud so it can go away! The hardest part of letting go of my bad relationship was letting go of the idea of another child. I guess that's always in the back of my mind and I haven't let it go far enough! It's something that I'm trying really hard to give up! |
User: marianne_hess
Member since: 07-10-2001 Total posts: 48 |
From: paroper
Date: 05-19-2004, 12:04 PM (7 of 19)
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Recent studies that I have read say that the majority of people now meet their new mate in the GROCERY STORE. I agree that bars are not the best place...most churches seems to cater more to couples although they are great for support, workplaces get "sticky". Maybe some of your friends will introduce you to their boyfriends' friend? Back in my parents' day, most people met through blind dates. I know that you probably aren't looking for a mate exactly, and your family needs you, but it is sooooo nice to have an adult with the same interests who likes to go to dinner and a movie sometimes and can carry on a good conversation. I'm sure that when the time is right, he'll be there. Good luck!
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: luv2so
Date: 05-19-2004, 01:57 PM (8 of 19)
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Hi, Marianne_hess He will come to you when or where you least expect it.... Been there....Done That....Hang in there Gurl!!  Meanwhile Enjoy your little Angels....THEY GROW SO FAST!!! Have Fun with them....Build that Mother Daughter trust and Friendship...First! Do all those thing you wanted to do...do you still remember  them?It is not a coinsidence that you are were you are at....in your life right now.... Pssst....It's all in "HIS DIVINE Plan". Take a day at a time....Give Thanks everyday.... He will Reward ya....Never loose Faith and Hope. Stay Humble.  "Friends Come and Go".....There's a leasson to be learned with everyone we meet....are you taking notes.... Enjoy "LIFE"...(Breath-IN...Breath-out) It's the most PREACIOUS Gift.....Given to Us All!  And if no one comes your way......At least you didn't forget to BREATH.... 
~~ luv2so ~~
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User: luv2so
Member since: 04-26-2003 Total posts: 50 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 05-19-2004, 10:42 PM (9 of 19)
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Remember when you are "looking"-- It takes a mighty good man to be better than no man at all. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: weB2cats
Date: 05-20-2004, 05:50 PM (10 of 19)
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If you're active, you'll run into interesting people eventually. I've tried online dating but the men in my age group looked years, I mean lots of years, older than they claimed to be. They all mentioned they didn't want more children, didn't live with the children they did have, and wanted women who were slim and athletic. Yeah Right. Not with my schedule. I came to realize that these men are probably the cheaters and misfits other women were glad and blessed to be rid of. I didn't want to take on someone else's reject. I say focus on yourself and your girls. My daughter's 8 and she's growing up way too fast. I'm glad she still likes to hold my hand. I can't imagine where I would fit a man into my schedule. Somewhere after work, before dinner, next year... |
User: weB2cats
Member since: 11-07-2002 Total posts: 232 |
From: mamahoogie
Date: 05-20-2004, 10:39 PM (11 of 19)
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I've been there too and it is hard to meet nice men. I was a single mom with three girls without any idea how to meet a nice guy (I don't drink or smoke and hate bars) and I ran into an old friend at the laundermat. My washing machine broke down and I couldn't afford one at the time and lo and behold there he was. He didn't last but it was great for several months. After that relationship ended I gave up again for several months and then went to a sporting event by myself intending to sit with "the crowd" that always sat in the same area and got introduced to someone new and well, 3 years later we married and have been happily married now for almost 16 years. So, stop "looking" and start "living". Enjoy your kids and let things fall where they will. Do you have any hobbies? Join some clubs like a camera club, gardening club, darts??, the gym, anything where you don't have to be a couple to fell comfortable and you may meet someone with the same interests. Good luck. Violet I've decided to live forever - so far, so good.
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User: mamahoogie
Member since: 12-25-2002 Total posts: 461 |
From: luv2so
Date: 05-20-2004, 11:29 PM (12 of 19)
 WOW VIOLET!!! CONGRATS!!....16 yrs later!!! he,he,heMarianne.....I hope you are reading all this....  Don't ya just LUV IT!!! When you least expect it.....and ...BAHM!! Well....School's almost out....Girls gonna keep ya B-Z You should keep a Journal and write down your thoughts. Aaaaahhhh You Gotta Luv Life...  DARTS......I Like DARTS....T--hee
~~ luv2so ~~
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User: luv2so
Member since: 04-26-2003 Total posts: 50
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From: weB2cats
Date: 05-21-2004, 10:09 AM (13 of 19)
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I just got done reading a survey which showed women spend far too much time taking care of others before themselves. Well...duh. Here's my post-man scenario: 1. Schedule an appointment to have your hair cut into a sexy new bob. You'll feel rejuvenated and spruced up. 2. Have a manicure and/or pedicure. Have you ever had a pedicure? Kinda weird at first. But consider it a rite of passage, kind of like Spring cleaning. 3. Spring Clean: sort through old clothing, drawers, closet shelves, etc., to recycle anything you no longer think you'll use. Don't throw away perfectly good stuff. It's is more blessed to give. 4. What are your future goals? How can you and your daughters join forces as a team so that everyone gets to be a part of the "family plan"? I know the waiting for "The Right Man" seems daunting but it's actually when you're not looking that things happen. Just be patient enough to reject the ones that don't work out. I can't imagine trying to juggle another thing in my life at this point. It would have to be the right man before I'd take a second chance at readjusting my life. That man would have to a self-made , wealthy bill-paying, child-loving, vacation enthusiast who is also loving, family-oriented, educated, generous, humorous, muscular, man with a sense of adventure and fun that loves to shop! If you know of such a man, let me know, too. |
User: weB2cats
Member since: 11-07-2002 Total posts: 232 |
From: MaryW
Date: 05-21-2004, 11:15 AM (14 of 19)
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Wow, I am impressed with the good advice everyone has.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: luv2so
Date: 05-21-2004, 11:32 AM (15 of 19)
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WeB2cats Can I add one More...... "Hair on his Chest" Va--va---va---Vooooooooommmm he,he,he  Yeap...I know of such a man.....  Shhhhhh.....He lives in my "D-R-E-A-M-S"  But if any of you ladies would like a copy..... You can get "Mr Wonderful" at you nearest Retail Stores (Walgreens, Wal-Mart and Target)....this is what he looks like.... http://brandsonsale.com//mr-wonderful.html ~~ luv2so ~~
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User: luv2so
Member since: 04-26-2003 Total posts: 50
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From: marianne_hess
Date: 05-21-2004, 02:28 PM (16 of 19)
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Thanks everyone, you have made me laugh...and cry... and I am taking all of your advice to heart. I know this is part of God's plan and I just have to wait patiently for him to open the next window! I used to write in a diary, but this is much better! It's wonderful to have such a great support system. I'm a firm believer in the saying that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't understand why at the time. I am going to continue nurturing outside friendships and spending quality time with my girls (while they still want to hang around with MOM). I have always found it difficult to make new friends, but I think that will be my goal for the summer! Mamahoogie - maybe I should forget about buying that new washing machine after all! LOL. |
User: marianne_hess
Member since: 07-10-2001 Total posts: 48 |
From: luv2so
Date: 05-21-2004, 02:50 PM (17 of 19)
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AUUUUHHHHHHHH...... You are Very WELCOME!! AnyTime!!...see what You did now you got me teary eyed...  LOL.....LOL...... Oooooo!!!THAT'S THE SPIRIT! ~~ luv2so ~~
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User: luv2so
Member since: 04-26-2003 Total posts: 50
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From: paroper
Date: 05-21-2004, 05:34 PM (18 of 19)
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If you can find the time, you might think about joining a gym. You'll feel better physically and mentally and you'll be doing something for yourself...besides, who knows who you might meet? I used to go for 30-45 min before work in the morning...lots of business people were there...sometimes I went at lunch.
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: mamahoogie
Date: 05-21-2004, 10:03 PM (19 of 19)
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Keep smiling girl and hang in there. It gets easier. Violet I've decided to live forever - so far, so good.
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User: mamahoogie
Member since: 12-25-2002 Total posts: 461 |
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