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From: blackie
Date: 07-22-2004, 05:23 PM (1 of 28)
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OK, so I have this project hanging over my head that I *hate*, and I wanted to vent about it! Right after my son was born, an acquaintance of mine mentioned she needed some curtains. I (stupidly) volunteered to sew them for her if she bought the fabric. Turns out it is TWO sets of curtains. OK, that's fine. We go to the fabric store and she gets the MOST BORING fabric I have ever seen - beige on beige. Wheee! I mean, this stuff it even too nuetral and boring for Martha Stewart. For some reason, that takes the fun out of the project a bit. I mean, why spend my time sewing something that looks like you can buy it at Target? If I would have known she wanted something so bland, I would have suggested she go to Linens N Things or something. So then, of course, it is taking me a while to get it done (two small children in cloth diapers, life in general). Turns out she was thinking I would have them done in a day or two. She isn't a sewer and has no idea how long things take. She hasn't said anything snotty but I know she is getting annoyed. So I am dumb! Here I am LATE on a project I *don't want to do* with an acquaintance who has a timeline. Honestly, it is hard with two small children to work for more than a few minutes at a time. Argh! I am actually working on this project right now. I expect it will be done by tomorrow and that will be a HUGE relief. Just wanted to share a little angst! 
see the mundane life of a housewife.
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User: blackie
Member since: 03-31-2004 Total posts: 594 |
From: Sewhappie
Date: 07-22-2004, 05:34 PM (2 of 28)
| Tell her to babyit for you and you'll have them done faster!!!! Bet she would stop huffing and fuming then!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
User: Sewhappie
Member since: 10-27-2001 Total posts: 1427 |
From: plrlegal
Date: 07-22-2004, 05:43 PM (3 of 28)
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Trust me Blackie when I tell you that if there is anything about the curtains that your friend doesn't like, she will feel more than free to tell you. Your reply should be "well, what do you expect for free?" Even if the curtains are boring, I'm sure there made much better than your friend could buy at Target or Wal-Mart and you are doing them for free. I don't think your friend is going to get curtains much cheaper than the price of just the fabric and she'll probably feel very free to ask you to do more sewing for her at your price of "free". Patsy Patsy
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User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001 Total posts: 318 |
From: sally ryan
Date: 07-22-2004, 06:19 PM (4 of 28)
| I bet we've all been there! It took me years to learn. Everytime I volunteer my services I live to regret it. The one Hawaiian shirt my work friend begged me to make turned into two- and of course she wanted it to look different than the pattern. Lots of adjustments there. Enjoy your time with your children. |
User: sally ryan
Member since: 07-22-2004 Total posts: 3 |
From: Chrysantha
Date: 07-22-2004, 09:08 PM (5 of 28)
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I learned a long time ago to say NO...I don't care how good the friend is....they aren't really friends if they ask for free things and then expect you to do it in a "minute". I've had my next door neighbor TELL me to make her a quilt out of her old prom dresses, NO....embroider her childrens names on beach towels...NO. She doesn't speak to me. (she doesn't unless she wants something) So who cares....??? I have peace of mind.....! Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414 
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From: paroper
Date: 07-22-2004, 09:13 PM (6 of 28)
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Doing sewing favors is a great way to ruin a friendship. Good friends are too hard to come by....
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: allie-oops
Date: 07-22-2004, 11:12 PM (7 of 28)
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I tell you what, if she DOES complain about them at ALL, let her know how much it costs for custom-made curtains! I learned to sew because I needed some curtains for my newborn's room. All I wanted was plain white curtains....and it was going to cost me $200. I went to the fabric store, bought some white muslin, and sewed them by hand. Fell in love with sewing, and got a machine about a year later. I hate doing things for other people, unless it's MY idea and for a gift, lol!!! Allie "onward through the fog"
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User: allie-oops
Member since: 10-25-2002 Total posts: 282 
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From: blackie
Date: 07-23-2004, 12:56 AM (8 of 28)
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Sounds like you ladies have learned from experience. This acquaintance is not a total jerk; after all, I volunteered to make them, she didn't ask. But I still wish she was more relaxed about when I got them done. Especially since I have a newborn! Not trying to make excuses, but I *have* been busy!
see the mundane life of a housewife.
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User: blackie
Member since: 03-31-2004 Total posts: 594 |
From: paroper
Date: 07-23-2004, 04:03 AM (9 of 28)
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People who don't sew have no idea what goes into making a project so they really don't understand. They just see it as a way to save money (it doesn't always do that.) People who don't live in your household don't understand your priorities.
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: MaryW
Date: 07-23-2004, 06:44 AM (10 of 28)
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Blackie, we have all been thru what you are describing. Just get them done and out the door. Hi Sally Ryan, welcome to Sew Whats New. 
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 07-23-2004, 07:34 AM (11 of 28)
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This is what I do when my daughter or someone else wants something boring (if I'm generous and don't say 'do it yourself'). I have some very bright quilt fabric with lizards on it and I applique one somewhere not too noticable on the item. Maybe on the underside of a hem would be good on curtains. One time I got bug fabric and put a roach in my daughter's pocket. It's fun and makes the project more interesting for me. Don't tell them before or after, let them find it themselves. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 07-23-2004, 12:24 PM (12 of 28)
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Oh Dorothy, What a WONDERFUL idea ! ! ! I'm going to do that , just for fun, not because I'm bored.. I guess its because I move slow, but I never get bored.. I used to laugh and say "i like my own company, so I do not get bored". My Grands will get a big kick out of this.. 
Sew With Love
Libby |
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002 Total posts: 2022 
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From: emermuffin
Date: 07-23-2004, 06:11 PM (13 of 28)
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My neighbor (a dear friend) has been completely remodeling her home. She of course asked me to make her a valance for her bedroom and I said sure. Reading all your posts and knowing how incredibly picky she is, I'm really regretting opening my mouth! She keeps changing her mind so I haven't started anything yet. Currently, she wants me to add a valance to her shower curtain so it will reach from ceiling to floor. Still waiting on her final decision for that one too. This lady is very sweet, but she had 16 shades of beige tile when she was trying to decide on her flooring. 16 shades of BEIGE! No wonder she can't make up her mind! Good luck with your friend, Blackie. I hope she's more reasonable than mine! 
emermuffin
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User: emermuffin
Member since: 03-29-2003 Total posts: 55 |
From: blackie
Date: 08-01-2004, 11:12 PM (14 of 28)
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So I finished THE WORLD'S MOST BORING CURTAINS and gave them to my friend. Whew, what a relief. They ended up looking fine, and it was a learning expereince. I asked her to let me know if they fit, etc. and so far she hasn't got back to me yet. Anyway I am a sadder but wiser girl over all this. It was fun reading all your sage advice and horror stories. I love the idea of appliqueing a tiny fun thing on a "boring" project. I know my friend wouldn't have appreciated this, but it's a good idea and I will keep it in mind. Emermuffin, here's hoping your project goes smoothly! see the mundane life of a housewife.
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User: blackie
Member since: 03-31-2004 Total posts: 594 |
From: MartySews
Date: 08-06-2004, 05:59 AM (15 of 28)
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Another way to add interest to a boring project is to use tone on tone thread in a decorative stitch pattern. Also, I sew a little label on the garment (or project) with my logo. It reminds the person that this is a custom made item and not something found at the five and dime store. Glad that you were able to finish the project. Happy Stitching! Marty 
It takes one moment to change a life.
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User: MartySews
Member since: 02-23-2003 Total posts: 504 
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From: mommgsews
Date: 08-09-2004, 04:38 PM (16 of 28)
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My daughter has moved into a new apartment and has requested many custom made home dec items. I have one rule - I do not sew on the project unless she is there to provide support. She can measure and press hems, get me a drink of water, start dinner since I'm busy with her stuff... The arrangement has worked out very well. She sees how much work goes into the project and I get to spend some time with her! Barbara |
User: mommgsews
Member since: 03-15-2004 Total posts: 73 
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From: CyndiLouWho
Date: 08-09-2004, 08:10 PM (17 of 28)
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I know what you mean. Friends who don't sew think it is like washing dishes. My Mom used to always come up with complicated things like circular tablecloths that hang to the floor with giant bias cord trim. She always babysat while I sewed for her, but I never could make her understand that I wasn't getting anythng out of the deal. I love her and just put up with it. Friends are a different story. I used to make square dance skirts in college. They were a real pain, so I doubled then tripled the price I charged and they still asked me to sew. Then I was happy to at least be making some money.
Cyndi Lou Who
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User: CyndiLouWho
Member since: 08-09-2004 Total posts: 1
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From: Dee Marie
Date: 08-10-2004, 09:58 AM (18 of 28)
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Blackie, Hope you finished your curtains for your friend. I have to learn to say no, also. With kids that young, you really shouldn't sew for anyone except your immediate family! This includes relatives! I recently sewed drapes for my sister in law's new home, not charging her and getting her the fabric at a huge discount. Sewed doorwall curtains, kitchen window, front door side windows, master bedroom, and made a giant 5 foot floral wreath for her great room 2 story wall. At the open house a few weeks later, she told everyone that she had the drapes done professionally, as well as the wreath, and informed everyone at the party, literally, not to speak to me. Not my favorite relative (we all have a nutsy one) and I will never sew for her again. And yes, she has asked. |
User: Dee Marie
Member since: 08-10-2004 Total posts: 16 |
From: paroper
Date: 08-10-2004, 10:12 AM (19 of 28)
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Dee Marie, with my mouth, next time she asked, I'm afraid I'd say that I was still waiting for my PROFESSIONAL fee from my last job. What's more, I'd probably tell her that the job I did was worth $XXXX. A few years ago when I was sewing I was pricing swags by the piece and the price was quite reasonable. I had a friend that had some simple 3-piece swags done that were even pleated backwards and she paid $185 a window for 4 windows. I could have done all 4 windows in one day. I nearly passed out...but kept my mouth shut. (On top of the price, the lady had her cut out her own swags.)
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: Liana
Date: 08-10-2004, 07:46 PM (20 of 28)
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My mom, who taught me sewing, told me once: "It is good to learn sewing, but only for you and your family (not including relatives). Otherwise, everyone you know will come with a "little" something for you to do". Wasn't she right? Yes, as I see here. So, I thanked her several times for this advice; that gave me peace and the power to say NO whenever necessary
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User: Liana
Member since: 08-10-2004 Total posts: 18 |
From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 08-10-2004, 08:41 PM (21 of 28)
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I think we all lose track of the fact that sewing is a SKILL. It is something you have to learn.. Nobody is born knowing how to sew.. If you have low self esteem, you say yes too quickly when people ask you to do these "little jobs" for them..Ask any labor board or other similar office what the hourly wage for experienced skilled laborers is running now.. I do not mind telling anyone no. If I like the person, I then explain that I sew for fun and trying to please a customer is not fun.. Especially because part of the fun of my sewing is the originality of the design and planning stages.. With small Children, especially, no one needs to say anything except, "I don't have time, I can barely keep up with my own sewing". That should be enough of an answer for anyone..
Sew With Love
Libby |
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002 Total posts: 2022
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From: MartySews
Date: 08-10-2004, 08:57 PM (22 of 28)
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Today I received a call from someone that had received my name from Hancock Fabrics. He was in a fix and needed two pageant type dresses within 2 weeks. After telling him that I was unable to do the job, I did refer him to a friend who is looking for opportunities such as this. She was delighted to accept and met with him. What a surprise she had when she learned that he is a female impersonator and needed two outfits for a charity show. They picked out patterns, took basic measurements (much to her chagrin) and purchased the fabrics, etc. She said it sounds like a fun project and thanked me for the job. However, in her embarrassment, she forgot to discuss fees with him. I hope it turns out well for her. Life can throw interesting opportunities one's way. I had no problem telling the person "No" but was pleased that the manager of Hancock Fabrics remembered me and the work I do. It was flattering to my ego. My friend is glad to have an interesting project to work on and was pleased that I gave her name. That's what I love about the sewing community is that we can always help one another. Happy Stitching! Marty
It takes one moment to change a life.
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User: MartySews
Member since: 02-23-2003 Total posts: 504
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From: blackie
Date: 08-10-2004, 10:51 PM (23 of 28)
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Originally posted by mommgsews My daughter has moved into a new apartment and has requested many custom made home dec items. I have one rule - I do not sew on the project unless she is there to provide support. She can measure and press hems, get me a drink of water, start dinner since I'm busy with her stuff... The arrangement has worked out very well. She sees how much work goes into the project and I get to spend some time with her! Barbara Wow Barbara, that is such a great idea. Having a "helper" for projects would be so much fun, and yes it is a great way for your friend or loved one to see the amount of work that goes into it. Yes Dee Marie, I did finish the curtains. I am *so* relieved they are done, and I am going to try to focus on sewing for myself and my loved ones a little more and do less volunteering for a while. see the mundane life of a housewife.
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User: blackie
Member since: 03-31-2004 Total posts: 594 |
From: paroper
Date: 08-10-2004, 11:49 PM (24 of 28)
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Marty, I have a gay friend who designs and sews. He was sews for society women (often original wedding dresses) but in recent years he has had several female inpersonators who have come to him. He says that they usually don't quibble about prices often paying several hundreds of dollars for the job and wanting only the finest (often from major fabric shops out of state/country) fabrics.
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: sewingrandma
Date: 08-11-2004, 06:36 AM (25 of 28)
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Liana: I sew for myself and family only. I make all my own scrubs for work and my co workers are constantly asking me to make them scrubs. My reply to them is they couldn't afford me. When they asked why, I gave them how much I would charge them per item. They were shocked at what I would charge and said they could go to a local discount shop and get them cheaper. I agreed, cheaper in price and construction. A few of my co workers admitted they didn't realize how expensive fabric and patterns have become, and didn't stop to think about my time spent adjusting the sizes, cutting out and the actual sewing.
Brockie
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User: sewingrandma
Member since: 03-06-2003 Total posts: 432 |
From: paroper
Date: 08-11-2004, 07:22 AM (26 of 28)
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Sewing is not cheap! You are absolutely right about the costs of fabric, patterns and hiring someone. You'll almost never break even if you hire someone. That is from the perspective of discount or even moderate priced stores. However, as you said you don't get the fit and quality. When I was sewing for the public I found that the majority of my customers were people who had special fitting problems and wanted the fit and quality that custom sewing provided...not because they wanted cheap clothing. Many of the weddings I did were either for people who wanted a particular color or outfit or because the sizes in their wedding party were so different that they couldn't find what they wanted easily in stores.
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: Liana
Date: 08-11-2004, 10:52 AM (27 of 28)
Right, but the problem comes when someone wants a pattern that isn't fit for her body and you try convincing her it is not fit for her. You don't succeed, anyway you sew it and she is discontent because that outfit doesn't look on her like on a model. Whatever sum she would pay me, it's a sad experience for me. I don't know if I made myself clear. Or, there is another thing: someone chose a pattern, you start sewing but she changes her mind. Once you cut the fabric... there isn't much you can do 
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User: Liana
Member since: 08-10-2004 Total posts: 18 |
From: paroper
Date: 08-11-2004, 11:14 AM (28 of 28)
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We've all been there. It is very disappointing for everyone.
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
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