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This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Sewhappie
Date: 10-27-2004, 07:22 PM (1 of 1)
Get your mammies grammed!

This is hysterical!
Make sure you read the whole thing...

This is a cute way to send "the message"!

There is a serious message at the end, but
you get to laugh on the way there.

Now go out and have your mammies grammed!

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my breast in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,

My hooter's in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor breast was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting

"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out!

Mail this to 13 other females.

Now, don't break the chain!

One female broke the chain,

her plumbing became so bad, she now
has an
outhouse!

OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember...
Breast Cancer Awareness...



Go have your breasts checked out and stay healthy!

Pass the message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends -- and even your enemies --

because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer!
User: Sewhappie
Member since: 10-27-2001
Total posts: 1427
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