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From: MyGirlFriday
Date: 12-22-2004, 08:30 PM (1 of 11)
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Hello~ Been away for a few days... My Father had is prostate surgery on Monday.....we went in at 5:30 and was in his room by 10am. My sister and her DH came for the surgery then once Dad was in his room they were off to Christmas shop. They are staying at Dad's house and the place is a wreck! My Dad had asked me to go over and check his mail and pay the bills that came in and when I went over there yesterday I almost lost it.  There was trash all over the place, the toilet had overflowed and they threw towels to soak up the water (then left them), the drain in the laundry room overflowed and soaked the carpet. Then the icing on the cake was finding they had been letting the kids play video games in my Dads room. I ended up confrunting my sister and it wasn't pretty! She was very ugly basically saying that it was none of my business what was going on there since they were staying there and it wasn't my place to check up on them.Well today we had a plumber come over to check the drains and since we had snow on the ground  (yes it snowed today here) we weren't able to find the place to go into the sewer, so they are going to come back after the snow is gone to take care of it.In the meantime, they will just have to take it easy with the water/drains. And I will take and do the laundry at my house until it gets fixed. While I was there I found that they were now playing the video games on my Dad big screen TV......I am not about to say a thing to my sister about that! I did mention it to Dad and he was upset. He isn't at all happy about them staying there....but what can you do. This is going to be over really soon...Dad is supposed to get to come home tomorrow. I will be glad when he is home and things are back to normal. Thanks for listening~ mgf~ 
Blessings & Smiles
Frogs have it easy....they just eat what's buggin' them. |
User: MyGirlFriday
Member since: 12-05-2004 Total posts: 288 
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From: MaryW
Date: 12-23-2004, 11:39 AM (2 of 11)
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Isn't that something. The nerve of some people. Just be thankful your Dad is coming thru his surgery fine and will be back home soon. Sometimes you have to just look at the big picture and be grateful for what you have.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: paroper
Date: 12-24-2004, 04:30 AM (3 of 11)
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I'm so sorry for you and your Dad. He really doesn't need to concentrate on anything but getting better right now. I take it that your sister just used your dad's surgery for an excuse to have a family vacation? The sad thing is that some day you'll probably have to do family business with these people. Even thoughtful people become terrible when that happens but when they start out like this....oh, man! I hope that when they leave most of the things in the house are still there.
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: MyGirlFriday
Date: 12-24-2004, 01:18 PM (4 of 11)
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Dad was able to go home this morning!! He is doing really good. I'm sure he is really glad to be home. Luckily the house was still standing when we pulled up in the drive.  There was another incident with the sewer backing up, but we did get the sewer people out there to roto-root the system. They were able to clear the lines and that helped me out alot. ( I was going to have to take and do all of their laundry at my house)Sister and her family are on the road back to their home. (They are having a huge family dinner tomorrow~we were invited but I just couldn't think of driving my Dad 200 miles for that!) Thanks for listening ya'll! It really did help to vent! Paroper~ you know you are right!! One of these days we will have to do some family business...I just pray that when that time comes that my sister is able to keep her cool! ( And I am able to get in touch with a lock smith to get the locks on Dad's house changed! )Blessings & Smiles~ mgf~ 
Blessings & Smiles
Frogs have it easy....they just eat what's buggin' them. |
User: MyGirlFriday
Member since: 12-05-2004 Total posts: 288
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From: beachgirl
Date: 12-24-2004, 07:30 PM (5 of 11)
| My heart goes out to you. It's enough to have a parent having surgery but to also know what's happening to their home as well is heartbreaking. My parents home wasn't messed up but antiques we're taken & some very precious items. Crap does happen & I don't understand why. Thank heavens your Dad is doing fine. That's the important thing. |
User: beachgirl
Member since: 08-31-2004 Total posts: 615 
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From: paroper
Date: 12-25-2004, 12:41 AM (6 of 11)
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As sad as it is from your perspective, just think how tragic it is from your dad's. As soon as I had enough, I went in and changed locks everywhere. They didn't have the nerve to ask for the keys but it was a little like shutting the barn door after the cattle were out. They had always done everything covertly. So that stopped a lot of things. I know that in time my mom caught on and it made a real difference in how much she trusted my sister and her family. I made a point of NEVER running down my sister or her family in front of Mom. I really didn't was to hurt her. Because she was my sister, my mother was pretty tollerant toward her, but when she suddenly died two years before my mom, my mom started taking care of business. I never felt just real bad about the things that happened after that because as far as I was concerned, they had helped themselves to their share of the inheritance. The first thing I did after my sister died was change my mom's doctor (my sister's husband had been Mom's doctor) and guess what? My mom's health improved considerably and she became very allert. He had been giving her several meds that should not have been taken together and in large doses according to doctors that took over. My family of five took care of Mom for more than six years and she deeded her large home to us just two weeks before she became deathly ill (as a Christmas present) and she took care of all the paperwork herself. I didn't feel that bad that we ended up with it. My sister's husband had told me outright that he planned to take control of her estate, sell the house and seize all her assets while mom and sister were still living. pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: MyGirlFriday
Date: 12-25-2004, 08:53 AM (7 of 11)
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It is sad that your sister passed away. And really sad that your Mothers Dr, her son-in-law wasn't giving her the best care! It just amazes me how people tend to get when money is involved. It is like the just don't care who they hurt. All things work out for thes best and I'm sure this will too. Thanks for listening~ mgf~
Blessings & Smiles
Frogs have it easy....they just eat what's buggin' them. |
User: MyGirlFriday
Member since: 12-05-2004 Total posts: 288
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From: paroper
Date: 12-25-2004, 10:00 AM (8 of 11)
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It is sad. I hope that things work out well for your family. I always rather blamed myself because I didn't expect it.
pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: Sewhappie
Date: 12-29-2004, 12:34 AM (9 of 11)
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Paroper, Why would you blame yourself for your sister marring a "Jacka$$" and then becoming one herself? I hope that you have nothing to do with him now, seeing what his "true colors" are. If he was willing to do that to his M-I-L, I'd hate to see what he's do to his own parents, if they are still around. MGF- I hope that your dad is feeling better soon!!!
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User: Sewhappie
Member since: 10-27-2001 Total posts: 1427 |
From: paroper
Date: 12-29-2004, 07:38 AM (10 of 11)
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I always blamed myself because I trusted my sister and didn't look out for my mother's interests. In the end, my mother outlived my sister by two years. My sister died of an aneurism in the hospital parking lot (after seeing my mom in ICU) when we thought that my mom was going to die. If was a terrible shock. Mom pulled through after being near death for about two and a half months. During that time my sister's three children stepped up to the plate and became very attentive, visiting her daily during the 4 months she was in the hospital. When she got home and started looking better, they stopped visiting, and eventually stopped calling and finally would become angry if she called them. When Mom would go back to the hospital, they would be there every day again. When Mom came home she started taking care of business. I investigated and found her a reputable, independant lawyer (independant of my family or my sister's) who was willing to make house calls to visit with her. The first thing she did was appoint me her Power of Attorney and then she cleaned up her will to make sure that there was absolutely no way that my sister's husband could ever make a more. Then she started taking care of everything else, deeds, mineral rights, assigning property to individuals so that everything would transfer smoothly. By the time she died, I had little work to do to finish except deliver a few things and go to probate. It was all done according to her wishes with her doing the bulk of the work. pam
Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch) |
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004 Total posts: 3775 |
From: Dee Marie
Date: 01-30-2005, 09:04 AM (11 of 11)
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I'm so glad your Dad is doing well now. We all have that 'someone' in our family that we wish we weren't related to, and frankly, don't understand how we can be related to! My Mom suffered a stroke a year ago and just started driving again. She was golfing on 2 leagues a week; she'll be 83 in May of 2005. The daughter, in this case, me, is always the one that gets to do the grudge work, i.e. housekeeping, grocery shopping, prescriptions, appointments, laundry, etc. I have 2 brothers; one never sees her and the other one, well, I wish he would see less of her. I live an hour away in another state and this has all taken a toll on me and my family (married w/2 kids). The 'frequent visitor' brother has been playing mind games with Mom to turn her against us, and things are starting to disappear from her home. Mom loves this child because he takes her out for dinner one or more times a week...at her expense. I've taken Mom to an attorney and had her Will made and now need the Living Will. I bought Mom a small embroidery/sewing machine and she is starting to use it. I hope to get her involved in a club that she can meet with monthly until she golfs again. I've contacted most of her friends and encouraged them to see her. I try to take her out to lunch or shopping by bringing my daughter with me; we can do the housework and laundry in 1/2 the time and still have time to do the 'fun stuff' with Mom. My sister is mentally retarded, or perhaps the term is now mentally challenged. She is in a group home. I have her home for visits with Mom on a regular basis and I know this eases her worries there. I'm legal guardian for my sister and will live up to the responsibilities. I guess this is what middle age is about; taking care of aging parents, trying to keep your own teens under control, and trying to find time for your husband, who unfortunatley is in line behind my ..sewing! I taught my 89 yr. old Grandmother a new needle art after her stroke, and I'm thrilled my Mom is learning machine embroidery. The new machines are awesome, aren't they? Sewing is so much more than a hobby... Best wishes to you. |
User: Dee Marie
Member since: 08-10-2004 Total posts: 16 |
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