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The Sew What’s New Archive
This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and
quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was
retired in August 2007. It is being provided by
“Sew What’s Up,”
which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Serenity
Date: 01-12-2005, 01:21 PM (1 of 17)
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Hello everyone, I am so happy to once again be among some of the best people in the world. I have been to so many places in this last year and been through so many different things, I could never have a place to start. First and formost.. It's me...  threads_40 from Vermont...Missed you Mary and all the others I chatted with the last few years.At the moment I am still not at home. I am iin Wyoming. I am so homesick. I will be leaving on the 22nd of this month and will be so glad to get back to Vermont soil. I have been here almnost a month. A living he...well you know the rest. What a nightmare. I am not leaving alone however. I will be bringing back my 2 granddaughters, alysia who is 3 and Ayiana who is 15 months. Now what on earth am I going to do with 2 babies?  It has been an extremely long time to say the least. To make a long story short..My son called a little over a month ago and told me his wife of 4 years decided it was time to tell hoim she no longer wanted to be married, tied down or a mother.  . Needless to say I was dumbstruck. What is a REAL mother to do? So I finished as many winter orders as I could and I came to Wyoming to rescue my grandchildren and my son. He is devastated. She wants and IS dating other men. The sitiuation is MORE than strained. We are all in the same house. I can not stand to even look at her at times. I bet I could have an academy award for this performance. I babysay 3 days last weekend so she could go out to the "Club". Each night she came home in a differnet car, with a different man. Each night ranging between 2:30 am and 4:30 am. I am sick and disgusted I have never and I pray that I never will again see the likes of such again. If everyone will please, no matter what faith, please remember my son and his children and my sanity, in their prayers. I would really appreciate it. Take care and I hope all of you are having better days than I am right now. Since she threw a fit and now does not want me to use the phone or the computer becasue they ponly have the one line, she said she has no privacy and can not have any time to herself, so I trek out to the library most days and use my cell phone for calls back to Vermont. I have been sewing a few small things and knitting when I am there at the house and my son is at work. We go out when he comes home or come back to the library where we can have a few peaceful moments. I cook all the meals and take care of the little ones when I am there. She sleeps most of the morning until 11 or 12 becasue she is tired she says. I just wonder what is she tired from? Becasue she certainly is not doing anything at the house. Serenity (threads_40) "The struggle is not greater than the goal". Be blessed. Stay encouraged.
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User: Serenity
Member since: 01-12-2005 Total posts: 85 
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From: shirleyp
Date: 01-12-2005, 02:04 PM (2 of 17)
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Serenity, If you think I am way out in left field let me know. I read your post and can sympathize with you. We as mothers defend our own children just because they are our own. I have been thru a few things in my life that had taught me, the hard way, to try to be more compassionate to others and their situations. Be patient as I try to explain. Since I don't know all of the circumstances involved I might be totally wrong in your situation. Does your son help his wife at all. Did she go thru post partem? Is she overwhelmed with life and how she feels in it? I hear a person crying out for some understanding. Most of us see the outside and don't look far enough to see what's really happening. First children need both parents for stability. I came from a divorced home and it has bothered me more than I realized. Years ago I struggled with medical problems for seven yrs. People lost interest in helping and I got very little support from my own family. I started doing things just because I was full of frustration. I became angry and became cruel to those around me. Then I struggled with anemia for another four yrs. Because of the lack of understanding I verbally struck out at people. I was tired and exhausted and was going on sheer guts alone. I became a recluse and even more angry. People avoided me and looked at me as if I was the worst mother around, they even made cruel remarks. Have you sat down with your daughter-in-law and just tried to see what the problem is, maybe there is something else going on that you don't see. What I am trying to say is I guess, that people strike out in ways they sometimes themself don't see. They need to do something to get rid of what is bothering them. Your daughter-in-law might be having some problems. |
User: shirleyp
Member since: 02-12-2002 Total posts: 352 
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From: MaryW
Date: 01-12-2005, 02:17 PM (3 of 17)
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Welcome back threads_40 and I'm so sorry you have had a bad time. I'm sure you will be glad to get back in your own place with your grandchildren.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: plrlegal
Date: 01-12-2005, 02:27 PM (4 of 17)
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Welcome back Threads and good for you for seeing to the welfare and care and your (basically) infant grandchildren. Adults can fend for themselves in these situations, but, unfortunately, most often young children end up neglected, abused, etc. if there isn't a loving grandparent(s) to step in and see to their welfare. It does sound as though all concerned do need prayer at this point in the whole affair. Patsy Patsy
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User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001 Total posts: 318 |
From: Serenity
Date: 01-13-2005, 01:52 PM (5 of 17)
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Thanks and so glad to be back on the board. This group has really helped me and my sanity over the last 3 years. Shirley, first let me say I do understand where you are coming from and I too at first thought the very same thing. That abruptly ended when I arrived. My daughter-in-law is 22. Meaning they had there first 3 years ago when she was 19. She married right out of high school and into my sons home from her home with her mother. My son is a licensed plumber like his father. He works and then comes home and cleans, cooks and does the laundry.She does not wash his clothing (I have been doing it since I have been here). She has said over and over how she is just to young for all this housewife stuff. She goes to the club every Thursday night (ladies night I'm told so she can have free drinks) Friday nights, and Saturday nights. She said Sunday is just a waste of time becasue only the old men come out. I am pretty old fashion and I guess my son is too. I just have a problem with all of this. But...I can honestly say I keep my mouth shut and babysit so my son can get some sleep and so that the babies are tended too. I take about 2 hours a day (since I have been here) to walk to the library for a breath of fresh air (cold I might add). The other thing ...I sincerly love my daughter-in-law. Every one of them as a matter of fact. I have 3. All but one have children (they just got married November 22,2004). It is her mother who she refuses to talk too. Her family is angry at her and tells her to snap out of it. I on the other hand have tried to encourage her to talk with a professional. She tells me But I am fine I just want to be free. My son asked her why didn't she tell him she did not want to be married. She said because she knew it would break his heart and did not want to see him hurt. As far as post partum. I do not know...maybe it is a delayed thing. What ever it is she has stated in undeniable terms that she does not want to be married.. She does not want any children at this time. So I will just continue to keep my mouth shut and take care of what I can. Serenity "The struggle is not greater than the goal". Be blessed. Stay encouraged.
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User: Serenity
Member since: 01-12-2005 Total posts: 85
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From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 01-13-2005, 07:16 PM (6 of 17)
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Threads, Welcome back, we have missed you.. Sounds like another one of those "in love with love" immature teens who married too soon and now so much damage has been done.. Just continue to give your love and support.. Those precious babies do not deserve to feel neglected by their 'mother'. You are doing the right thing by taking loving care of them.. Hang in there, Girlfriend. !! Sew With Love
Libby |
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002 Total posts: 2022 
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From: Dede
Date: 01-14-2005, 07:51 AM (7 of 17)
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Another curve ball ... How many do you think we'll get served in a lifetime? Life sure isn't easy but we have to make the best of "everything". Your son and daughter in law are adults. They have to make their own decisions and live with them. You are there to support your son and care for the kids; I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job. You are doing the very best you can under these difficult circumstances and our friend up there will make sure you are well taken care of. Let them deal with their issues. Whatever happens, life takes care of everybody; everybody gets what's coming to them ... good or bad. Huggs and kisses 
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User: Dede
Member since: 03-23-2001 Total posts: 469 |
From: shirleyp
Date: 01-14-2005, 11:09 AM (8 of 17)
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Serenity, Thanks for setting me straight. It is hard to see problems in ones family. Give your grandkids a lot of hugs and tell them another lady is thinking of them. I might be a stranger but love is what helps. Take care of yourself and I am thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers |
User: shirleyp
Member since: 02-12-2002 Total posts: 352
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From: Serenity
Date: 01-15-2005, 10:09 AM (9 of 17)
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I do not know about many of you. But this place...Our Sew-what's-new family ..is one of the best. The ladies on this board have helped me through some pretty rough blows. From my husband's accident a few years ago right up until now. And I will forever be grateful for it. The children and I am over at my brothers home right now. I pretty much have the house to myself and the girls are sleeping peacefully as I type. I am doing a count down too,lol... Saturday is the day I leave for home. Speaking of home ...hubby and I are considering moving to up state New York..a small New England town called Malone. Anyone ever been there? Ever heard of it? Thank you...everyone for your kind words and most of all thoughts of well wishes, love and prayers. Take care and have a wonderful week. Feeling better in Wyoming 
"The struggle is not greater than the goal". Be blessed. Stay encouraged.
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User: Serenity
Member since: 01-12-2005 Total posts: 85
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From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 01-15-2005, 05:13 PM (10 of 17)
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God Bless , Threads, and please Keep In Touch.. We really missed you..
Sew With Love
Libby |
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002 Total posts: 2022
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From: DorothyL
Date: 01-16-2005, 10:27 AM (11 of 17)
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I think Malone is way up there. Susie (the New York one not the Louisiana one) might know more about it. There is a state prison there. It gets very cold up there I think with a lot of snow. This link might help http://www.epodunk.com/ Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: Serenity
Date: 01-17-2005, 01:26 AM (12 of 17)
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It is way up there for sure. I love it up here. We are about 1 and 1/2 hours form there now. And about 45 minutes to an hour from Canada (Magog).It gets about the same cold here in Vermont too. Loads of snow and winters that dip well into the -0 's. Serenity (threads_40) "The struggle is not greater than the goal". Be blessed. Stay encouraged.
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User: Serenity
Member since: 01-12-2005 Total posts: 85
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From: susies1955
Date: 01-17-2005, 05:18 AM (13 of 17)
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..........Speaking of home ...hubby and I are considering moving to up state New York..a small New England town called Malone. Anyone ever been there? Ever heard of it?......... Feeling better in Wyoming Serenity, I don't know how I ever found your message but here I am. Thanks DOROTHY. If I hadn't seen the name Susie as I was skimming the messages I would have missed where Serenity may be moving to. I am about an hour south of Malone. We are due for wind chills tomorrow of -35 and we have had a few icy days here this winter but over all I guess you would say as winters go here it has been pretty mild. I was reading about your 'situation' and being a grandma to a 2 year old wonderful boy I can feel for your situation. Susie northern NY
http://community.webshots.com/user/susies1955 |
User: susies1955
Member since: 11-07-2003 Total posts: 124 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 01-17-2005, 08:14 AM (14 of 17)
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Ah Serenity, Welcome to upstate. Bring a coat. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: Serenity
Date: 02-28-2005, 09:25 PM (15 of 17)
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Hello Everyone, I am FINALLY BACK HOME! After being derailed on the tain, stranded in Chicago with 2 babies...hungry and cold not to mention so homesick I thought I was gonna pass out, I am finally home. But what a mess. This will take days to sort out so I will try to say something to speed you guys up to date as soon as I catch my breath and breath...  Serenity "The struggle is not greater than the goal". Be blessed. Stay encouraged.
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User: Serenity
Member since: 01-12-2005 Total posts: 85
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From: Magot
Date: 03-01-2005, 03:30 PM (16 of 17)
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Welcome home Threads, big virtual hugs.
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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From: MaryW
Date: 03-04-2005, 12:20 PM (17 of 17)
So glad to hear from you again. Post when you are all settled in. I am sure those little kids are doing their best to keep you running. 
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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