Sew What’s Up Presents
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This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and
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From: plrlegal
Date: 05-06-2005, 01:54 PM (1 of 5)
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MOM - Job Description This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, none of us would have done it!!!! POSITION: Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION!: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no! ! paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right. Patsy
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User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001 Total posts: 318 |
From: BRG
Date: 05-06-2005, 10:09 PM (2 of 5)
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LOL - how true!
- Brenda -
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User: BRG
Member since: 01-12-2005 Total posts: 388 
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From: esrun3
Date: 05-06-2005, 11:57 PM (3 of 5)
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You're right! Don't know that I'd have "applied" for the job! LOL Happy Mother's Day to everyone! Lyn
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User: esrun3
Member since: 12-02-2004 Total posts: 2345 |
From: Mother in Law
Date: 05-08-2005, 06:24 PM (4 of 5)
| Happy Mother's Day to all of you. I went out to eat with hubby and all the kids came and told me Happy Mother's Day with cards in hand. One of my neices's brought me flowers. I brought my Mom some flowers at the cemetery sure wish I could have taken her out to eat. |
User: Mother in Law
Member since: Total posts: |
From: Magot
Date: 05-09-2005, 02:52 PM (5 of 5)
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It gets easier Susie, and you remember them with greater love as time goes on. Shortly after my Mum was buried we were in Paris the weekend of the VE day celebrations. She was so proud I was going to be there then I get nostalgic whenever we have VE day celebrations ( 60th anniv this last weekend) and I was born late 50's and so have no first hand knowledge of the war.. I was sure Mothers Day was in March..... 
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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