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The Sew What’s New Archive
This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and
quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was
retired in August 2007. It is being provided by
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From: MaryW
Date: 07-21-2005, 01:19 PM (1 of 12)
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I met a couple recently who were in their seventies. Nice enough, but you would have thought they were in their nineties. They refuse to move. Watching television and eating were their main activities. Nothing wrong with them physically but they had lots of complaints about everything. He took pills for all sorts of things. A sleep disorder (funny thing, he could nap anytime during the day)supposed diabetic scare. His doctor told him he did not have diabetes. He thinks he does. He was advised to become active and watch his diet. He refuses. She had no ailments to speak of but was so negative ALL the time. All the kids today are no good. Everything is too expensive and the stores are either kinda crappy or way to high priced. There was just no pleasing them. People are too pushy, they don't trust them. I told my husband to please shoot me if I ever complain and have such negative attitudes about everything. These people are NOT fun. There is a little good in everyone. Hopefully my glass is half full. 
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: Bama
Date: 07-21-2005, 02:14 PM (2 of 12)
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Mary, That sounds alot like my MIL. She's in her 70's. She does have arthritus, but she wasn't so negative about everything until about the past year or so. All she wants to do is watch TV or nap or complain. There's no pleasing her. She won't leave the house except to go to the doctor. It's like she's waiting for her time to die. I keep telling her she might live to be 100. I think sometimes people just give up. My FIL, on the other hand, still works in his garden or does some work outside almost every day. He's almost 81. He's usually in a good mood and loves to talk to anybody who will listen to him.  I really think he's in worse health than my MIL, but he keeps going.
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User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000 Total posts: 2116 
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From: Chrysantha
Date: 07-21-2005, 09:50 PM (3 of 12)
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I told my husband to shoot me if I ever acted like an 'old, crabby, nasty, weird, 'aged' person....he knows I mean it too. I HATE a complainer, no matter HOW OLD they are. If you can get up, stand on your own two feet, walk, talk, eat, read a book, drive a car, hold a conversation, you DON'T NEED TO COMPLAIN. (when he complains I look at him and tell him to shut up, he's only 50, in good health, has a job, has a house, has a car, has food to eat....he has NOTHING to complain about and I'm NOT listening to him) (we've been married almost 27 yrs...you'd think he'd have listened more, but I notice as people, especially 'some' men, age, they listen less....). My grandparents weren't crabby, my Dad wasn't crabby...my sister (is mean sometimes) but not crabby..and I'm not crabby either...I guess it depends on the person and the family. I may not always feel like it, but I always try to be pleasent. Theres enough unpleasentness in the world, why add to it. Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 07-22-2005, 07:52 AM (4 of 12)
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It has always been my plan to be a cranky old lady some day. I also want to live on the corner across from an elementary school, have lots of cats, sweep my front steps every morning and yell and shake my broom at the little kids that cut across my lawn. Just for a laugh. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: MaryW
Date: 07-22-2005, 02:00 PM (5 of 12)
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They should read this. Why you Should Focus on the Positive By Monica Resinger I was once visiting with a person in my life who was having a lot of downs in their life. The entire visit consisted of this person talking about each negative event in his life and many negative events that were out of anyone's control (he never misses an evening of the news). Not once did I hear a positive remark about anything going on in his life, even though I can see many positive things... he has bought and paid for his home, he has a wonderful wife who will do anything for him, he owns many nice things, he has great kids and friends, and much more, but the sad fact is that he isn't enjoying, appreciating or recognizing any of them. I have known this person a very long time and know that he's always been this way and it's as if he prophesizes his own future by doing this. He has constantly stated: ~ that it's too late for him to make anything of his life (he probably won't because he won't even think of options because he has stated 'it's too late') ~ nothing but bad happens to him (he doesn't see the good things because he's focused on the bad) ~ there's never any nice weather & summer is almost over (even though it was a beautiful day the day we were visiting) ~ he never gets to do anything fun (every weekend who goes on a nice country drive & visits antique stores... that's not fun??) So, even when he gets to do something fun, or the weather is nice, he doesn't notice because he's too wrapped up in all the bad stuff! The fact is that we all have downs in our lives, but let's not forget there's a lot of ups such as a bright beautiful day, spending the day with our loved ones, creating a beautiful space in our home & enjoying it, a loved one appreciating you, being able to help someone in need, receiving much needed help with a problem, good health, the rain giving us energy & life. Also, I have learned to think of the downs as positives... a lot of the times they will spur needed change in our lives. For example, getting laid off from your job could be a Godsend if your job is costing a lot in transportation to get there, a lot of stress if you don't enjoy it or you have a hard time with it physically or mentally. The lay-off will spur you to think of other options and in the end, you will more than likely end up with a more fulfilling job or situation and if the lay-off didn't happen you may have just continued the unhealthy job since it was easier than looking at other options. If a person can see and appreciate the good in his or her life, they will feel positive and good most of the time and draw more good into their life. By switching negative thinking into positive thinking, we allow positive things to flow into our lives. For example: ~ instead of thinking that it's too late to make anything of ourselves, we can think 'it's never too late', this way we are open to suggestions from others, our own suggestions, 'lucky' things happening such as your dream job becoming available to you or a friend offering you partnership in their business, etc. ~ instead of seeing that 'nothing but bad happens to us', we can see all the good things that happen to us which will bring more good things to us all simply because we notice and appreciate them. When something 'bad' does happen, we will get through it much easier because we will see that even a 'bad' can be good and that we have so many good things in our lives that an occasional 'bad' is okay. I hope this has shed some light on why it’s so important to ‘think positive’ and that it will bring many positive things and events to your life. Monica Resinger publishes an inspirational daily newsletter regarding life lessons from a Christian/spiritual point of view. To join her group, send a blank e-mail to <email address removed for privacy> MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: DorothyL
Date: 07-22-2005, 05:07 PM (6 of 12)
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I once read an article about how everyone has a certain level of happiness. A kind of emotional average. Sometimes, of course, you are happier and at others you are sadder, depending on what is going on in your life. But most of the time you will hover around your own average. There are little things you can do to improve it some, but basically you are wired that way. I have a very good friend that is always miserable. I always tell him that he'd complain if they hung him with a brand new rope. He's not happy unless he is miserable. It's just him and he makes me laugh when he gets too self absorbed. It kind of settles him down when I laugh at him. I've got a trick for when I start feeling too sorry for myself. I just compare my situation to that of the vast majority of people that have ever lived on this earth and I realize how good I've got it. It is a lot better than comparing my situation to the tiny percent that have it better than me. Just by living in this century and not in a third world slum means you've got it pretty darn good. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: bridesmom
Date: 07-25-2005, 06:05 PM (7 of 12)
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I feel bad for those negative people who are so unhappy. (or maybe they are happy being crabby??) I feel so blessed to live where I am, have the great job I have, the terrific husband, great kids and grandkids I could just about bust. If I start getting down about something, usually I hear about something that has happened to someone else that is way worse and I feel so bad for them and I realize how blessed I am. Life is good.
Laura
Tickled pink with my Innovis 4000D |
User: bridesmom
Member since: 01-21-2004 Total posts: 2026 |
From: snowydacat
Date: 07-29-2005, 10:04 AM (8 of 12)
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Warning! Major moan here! I tend to lurk here, but this thread really hit a raw nerve. I was brought up with the phrase ‘you never appreciate the good times unless you experience the bad’ ringing in my ears. My mother was always a positive person, but the last few years (basically since she retired) things have been getting more and more negative with her and my stepfather and its driving me mad. ALL children are badly behaved (bring back the cane and national service!), the world will be a complete mess and anarchy will reign within 20 years to name just two conversations I have listened to in the last week alone! Im so glad its not just me that shudders at the thought of being like it myself when I am her age. I have tried figuring out why the change and come to the conclusion that they sit and read the newspaper and watch the news on tv(which only reports bad news) every day and they dont see the good around them being isolated in a small community. Are things worse now than they were when they were children? Can I beg to differ on this....they were children during WWII, people were as capable then as they are now of causing anarchy! Their racist views I find completely offensive, but this is the woman that brought me up NOT to be racist! They only seem to criticize my own children, who all do well at school and are considerate and respectful in my eyes! The smallest infringement on their own personal way of living is seen as an attack on them. My garden isnt kept as immaculately as my mothers, which gives a bad impression. My garden is not as immaculate because I work during the day and look after four children each night. I should work to give my children everything or it gives a bad impression. Children are badly behaved because they are given everything, they should be made to work for it. I pay my children to do the chores rather than just give pocket money. Children should be allowed to come home from school and relax after a long day....its goes on and on. Hypocrisy rules and I am in a lose....lose situation! But I do feel soooooo much better for that rant Snowydacat |
User: snowydacat
Member since: 05-10-2005 Total posts: 5 |
From: MaryW
Date: 07-29-2005, 10:34 AM (9 of 12)
Snowydacat, welcome to Sew Whats New  and I'm glad you feel better now.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: Bama
Date: 07-29-2005, 05:56 PM (10 of 12)
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I heard an elderly man say something once when someone was talking about "the good ol days". They were complaining about high prices and said that they could buy a Baby Ruth candy bar for a nickel back then. The man said, "Good ol days? Hmph! Back then I hardly ever had a nickel to buy a candy bar. Now I could buy the factory if I wanted to. THESE are the good ol days!" It made me smile.
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User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000 Total posts: 2116
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From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 07-30-2005, 01:19 PM (11 of 12)
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My Dear Dad used to have the greatest way of getting my Dear Mother to stop her complaining.. Bama, you reminded me of that just now.. When she would start about a coke used to be a nickel, and a quart of milk 15 cents, Daddy would say, "and how much money did I make in a week???" This question always started her to laughing and she would say, " O K, O K, I know.. I just forgot for a minute.." Because when you think about it.... Yes, my parents bought a home in 1935 when I was a year old for $1300.00. I remember when we burned that mortgage.. At the time they bought the house, my Dad's salary was $13.50 per week, and the house payments were $11.00 per month.. The last time I checked the criteria for ratio of house payment to salary was roughly the same.. About a week's pay for a monthly house payment..This was the measure of financial stability..
Sew With Love
Libby |
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002 Total posts: 2022 
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From: Chrysantha
Date: 07-30-2005, 10:03 PM (12 of 12)
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When I was small my Dad worked at a gas station part time. (back in the 50's when gas was .19 cents a gallon and men pumped your gas, checked your tires, washed the windshield and actually WORKED on cars IN THE STATION). I remember my grandparents buying a brand new Dodge in 66 for CASH, $2600. which was a lot of money THEN. Now we think nothing of cars that cost what our parents first (or sencond) houses cost.... If my Grandfather and Dad were alive, they'd have fits at the prices....but I know they'd BOTH have computers, all the latest gadgets and NEW Cars ! Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414
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