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From: MaryW
Date: 08-29-2005, 09:23 AM (1 of 20)
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It seems quite a few of us have daughters. Many are going thru the teen years. I have been thru it with my two. We can discuss the problems and maybe find some solutions. My girls were very headstrong. We taught them to develop their own ideas and opinions and not be afraid to voice them. Then we want them to do exactly what we say, nothing else. 
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: LauraM62
Date: 08-29-2005, 11:35 AM (2 of 20)
Wow you want to open this can of worms  My oldest teen just about drove me crazy, hmm still working it, but at least away to college now. I told her years ago that she may not like me at some point through her teen years, but she would graduate from high school, and would have a way to college. She graduated valedictorian at her high school with many honors, a a full ride scholarship to college. It wasn't the college she wanted, and we had a few more words as to why we wouldn't pay for the private college of her choice when she had a full ride to a extremely good college. I think each child is different, this one was head strong from the start, very smart little girl, as the teens progressed she just thought she was smarter then us, and she has some lessons to learn the hard way in life. As we all know books only make a person so smart, real life lessons mean allot. Now my 2nd daughter will be 15 in October. This little girl has always been the hugs & kisses girl, always wanting to help, will give you the shirt off her back, such the opposite of her big sister that had acquired the nickname 'princess' for a reason. At 15 we were already battling our oldest, at 15 I still really enjoy all the time I spend with my 2nd. I think that personalities mean so much in each child. I hope that my oldest will see life as she matures, I think her younger sister is maturer then her in many ways that she really doesn't understand yet. What amazes me is how we raise children in the same house and how each will take things differently to form their personalities to become different people altogether. I guess the follow or leader personality plays into my girls; the oldest was always following and too many times the wrong people, where my 2nd daughter is a leader, treading her own way, what she feels is the right way even if she is the only one there. Now my 3rd daughter is too young to say, she is 6, away to go to the teens 
LauraM
SW Indiana If everyone cared and nobody cried; If everyone loved and nobody lied; If everyone shared and swallowed their pride; Then we'd see the day when nobody died --'If Everyone Cared' by Nickelback |
User: LauraM62
Member since: 08-10-2003 Total posts: 246 
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From: Raine
Date: 08-30-2005, 11:53 PM (3 of 20)
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My daughter just started high school this week. It brings back a lot of bad memories of high school; kids seem especially cruel at this age. She ate lunch alone today; all of her friends from middle school have a different lunch hour. I think it will take her time to find her niche. |
User: Raine
Member since: 04-19-2000 Total posts: 259 
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From: SummersEchos
Date: 08-31-2005, 12:31 AM (4 of 20)
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Raine, That is so hard to go into High School and feel like you are all by yourself. It is one step into adulthood, where you enter a work place not knowing anyone and feel so alone. In a short period of time she will have new friends for lunch and be chatting away about all of life's new experiences. Summer
FREE FALLIN |
User: SummersEchos
Member since: 09-29-2004 Total posts: 884 |
From: SummersEchos
Date: 08-31-2005, 12:48 AM (5 of 20)
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I raised 3 daughters, about 4 years apart from each other. Oh what fun! In between were 2 boys. Olrdest daughter was such a trouble maker, ran away, had friends that I did not approve of, dropped out of school. When she went back to school, she graduated and was given the honor of giving the speech. No it was not her High School but a High School for teens who had dropped out of school and figured life out. All I can say was it was one of my proudest moments, for her life at that time was horrible. My middle daughter was as sweet as honey. She had her moments, but on the whole she was so sweet. I had many people say they had wished she was their daughter. My youngest daughter, went into High School with something to prove. She was called ruthless, and she was! When I went to her last parent teacher conference, all her teachers old and new told me how they were amazed of her change. She didn't graduated with honors, she just graduated. She had learn so many lesson in life and how to get along in life she became a joy to all around her. She went from ruthless to The Frog who hopped happily along her lily paths. I remember having PMS every day of every month. I remember having the girls tell me this was not in style, their hair was the wrong color, wrong style, those are my jeans she is wearing, she got into my stuff, etc, I let them go with what they felt was right for them at the time. No I do not have any that have graduated from college with honors, but I have wonderful daughters who care about family. Who care about this world and where it is going. Life with them as teenagers at times was rough. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Summer
FREE FALLIN |
User: SummersEchos
Member since: 09-29-2004 Total posts: 884 |
From: Bama
Date: 08-31-2005, 06:47 AM (6 of 20)
so far for me.... it's not near as hard as raising a teenage son.  but, my dd is only 13 1/2.
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User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000 Total posts: 2116 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 08-31-2005, 07:20 AM (7 of 20)
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Now that mine are grown I can tell them -- especially the one that was such a chore to raise -- neither one of them was near the handful I was at that age. So I guess I got off easy. Of course it was a different time and place. It must have been pretty rough on my mom living just outside San Francisco in the late 1960s. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: grandmasue
Date: 08-31-2005, 10:42 AM (8 of 20)
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I've been thru 2 teen girls, now 29 and 31 and have one to go who is now 15-1/2. The older 2 were just entering their teens when their father left us, I got remarried and had a new baby. There was nothing easy about that situation! I now have my "baby" to raise to adulthood. One thing that brings a smile to my face is when my youngest is 'acting up' and the older 2 try sharing their wisdom that this isn't something she should be doing. So far it isn't anything that the older 2 didn't try! I am very proud of how my older DD's have turned out so I won't lose too much sleep worrying about my youngest, tho the world does seem to be so much harder and cruel-er now than when my older 2 were growing up.
Grandma Sue
------------ At the end I am not showing up at my grave all pretty and well preserved...I am coming in sliding, yelling "What a ride!" |
User: grandmasue
Member since: 10-26-2004 Total posts: 138 
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From: MaryW
Date: 08-31-2005, 11:21 AM (9 of 20)
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My oldest girl (now 36) was a holy terror. If I said yes, she said no. It was that way with absolutely everything. She left home early thinking she knew everything. It's been a very rough road for her and it's far from over yet. My second girl (now 34) was quiet and reserved. Not near the problem of the older one, but she certainly had her moments too. I always told her not to do like her sister did. So, she didn't, she tried all new stuff.  Now she has settled down with a beautiful family.My son (soon 32) was no problem at all. He has a great girlfriend and works hard. You all know Dave by now. He loves to torture me when he gets the chance. MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: suesodyssey
Date: 08-31-2005, 11:26 AM (10 of 20)
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Wow, what a topic. I raised two girls, my natural daughter and my step-daughter (who by the way is considered as my daughter) The oldest was very easy going, minded and rarely was in trouble. The youngest (step) I got at age 13!!! Her mind set at that time was "If I always look my best, I will never have to buy myself breakfast"! You can imagine her mother. After both girls got out of high school and went to college, suddenly mom became a fairly smart person. Then after they married, had kids....WOW..mom really knows what she is talking about! The oldest is now almost 36, the youngest is 34. But now I am beginning to get the "mother attitude" from them. I have to remind them that I am not feeble and I can make decisions for my own life. But they are wonderful wives and moms, and I know that in many ways I had a large influence on that. It really makes me feel proud when I see how they have grown and how they are living their lives. So hang in there ladies...there is life after teenager girls!!! Sue |
User: suesodyssey
Member since: 03-29-2005 Total posts: 86 |
From: Sancin
Date: 08-31-2005, 06:30 PM (11 of 20)
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I really didn't have too many problems with my teens (too many other things going on). I divorced when they both, boy and 14 months younger girl , started their teens which supposedly the worse time for divorce for children. They tell me they did and do suffer a few relationship dilemnas because of it but now in their 30's it is not obvious. They both tell me the divorce was a great growth experience for them as they had to learn so many things, like responsibility and independance, to help the household and family run smoothly. I had concerns when my son physically matured early and had no leadership skills to help him with the jerks that came around, but he was and is pretty intelligent and they soon went away. The hardest time I had with my daughter was living through her teenage hurts and pains. I was friend of all and lover of very very few when I was a teenager (so, of course from, my perspective at the time was a non person) while my daughter was a very quiet girl, had few friends and had anxiety attacks (to the point of having to leave school for a year). I lived through every heartbreak she had - and still do so maybe it is not so much teenagers as being a mother. By the time she was in her mid 20's and on her 3rd university degree I was in awe about her growth in self confidence( and told her often)and how she overcame her shyness, mostly on her own. Now she is 34 and we live a long distance apart but phone and visit often and have long warming chats. But I do get the 'mother attitude' occassionally as suesodyssey describes. I was just over 30 before I started to have children and wonder if it made any difference to parenting --- and to my daughter's now 'mother attitude'.  As the current generation of young people are marrying later and having children later I wonder how parenting and perspectives will change.
*~*~*~* Nancy*~*~*~* " I try to take one day at a time - but sometimes several days attack me at once."
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User: Sancin
Member since: 02-13-2005 Total posts: 895 
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From: MaryW
Date: 09-01-2005, 10:40 AM (12 of 20)
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I was not quite 20 when I had my first daughter. I was so glad to be young and healthy when they were teenagers. I had to be very quick, on the ball and observant. I have a teenage grandson living with us now, I forget how they are and really don't have the energy, patience and whatever else it takes to bring one to maturity. I keep remembering my Mom. She had two teenage boys when she was my age. UGH! The girls were so emotional, everything was either perfectly cool or a real downer. Tears over romantic breakups and some really creepy friends at times. MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: mommgsews
Date: 09-02-2005, 09:04 PM (13 of 20)
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I've been extremely blessed by our daughters 20,18 & 14. They have all been involved in music and athletics and school related activities like Student Council and Yearbook. The two oldest dd's are now in college, both on scholarships of varying degrees. Our youngest is getting ready for the first high school football game of the season. She is a member of the pom/dance line. I noted this morning at the pep rally that the kids who were involved seemed much happier than those who had chosen to disconnect themselves from the school activities. (I found myself praying for one kid in particular who sat in front of me with headphones shoved into his ears. When things got happening and loud he actually shoved at them harder. As he was leaving the rally I noticed that he had written "Dying will be the death of me." up his arm. Poor kid.) I am very proud of the most of the kids at school. Two of their classmates passed away over the summer and they held a moment of silence in their honors. Another thing that they did was to take time to pass around a very large water bottle (think office water cooler size) for kids to donate money to Katrina relief. I saw kids pulling much more than coin out of their pockets! I think I may have sidetracked, just sharing my experiences with teens. |
User: mommgsews
Member since: 03-15-2004 Total posts: 73 
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From: SummersEchos
Date: 09-03-2005, 12:06 AM (14 of 20)
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Mary, Oh those breakups with the bf's! I remember having all 3 daughters in that mode at one time and having to listen to the same 3 songs over and over, the tears, the being on the phone crying to their best friends. Or the fights with the then bf's. More than once I heard the phone get slammed down. One rule I had was if you break the phone you replace the phone. I had my own phone line in my bedroom and everyone knew it was off limits. Needless to say I had quite a few phones replaced. Now I and they sit back and laugh at all of this, but it was a good learning experience for them. I have 5 grandchildren and 4 of them are little girls. Oh paybacks are what? lol Summer
FREE FALLIN |
User: SummersEchos
Member since: 09-29-2004 Total posts: 884 |
From: MaryW
Date: 09-03-2005, 08:35 AM (15 of 20)
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Teenage girls today are way ahead of the boys. They are taking a good, hard look at my grandson. He could care less. He's a good looking boy, they have been looking for a while now. Once we were flying into Toronto. A girl set her sights on him. She was determined he was going to notice her. He pulled out his book and she spent the entire flight flitting around and glancing his way. LOL
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: DorothyL
Date: 09-03-2005, 09:21 AM (16 of 20)
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I think girls mature faster. And they mature for a longer period of time because most males quit maturing at 15. One of my very best friends has 4 wonderful sons but what babies they are compared to girls. Another thing I've noticed is women with daughters expect more of their children (their sons as well as girls) but women who only have sons really baby those boys. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: MyGirlFriday
Date: 09-03-2005, 03:53 PM (17 of 20)
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My oldest daughter is in high school and she is learning all about how hurtful other girls can be! It seems to me that this is a girl problem. I don't really think that boy have this problem. mgf~
Blessings & Smiles
Frogs have it easy....they just eat what's buggin' them. |
User: MyGirlFriday
Member since: 12-05-2004 Total posts: 288 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 09-03-2005, 05:14 PM (18 of 20)
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Boys can be bullies too, I think. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: MaryW
Date: 09-04-2005, 10:17 AM (19 of 20)
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Yes, there are bullies in both sexes. Girls are very hurtful, catty and mean. Boys are very good at hiding their more sensitive feelings. They seldom want to appear hurt.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: Hogmami
Date: 09-05-2005, 11:51 AM (20 of 20)
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I have been reading what you have written. My daughter was easier to raise than my son. My daughter would come home from school and do her homework without being told, my son on the other hand, would do anything to get out of doing homework. My son would fight me on everything, not my daughter. But, both kids have done good for themselves and I am proud of them.
Carolyn
Michigan |
User: Hogmami
Member since: 09-30-2004 Total posts: 800 
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