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This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: bridesmom
Date: 11-07-2005, 08:38 AM (1 of 18)
I got a huge surprise on the weekend. My sister who is 60 has decided she's had enough of her egotistical, selfish, superficial husband and is leaving him after 40 years of marriage and three children. He apparently has taken up with her best friend, who he says is 'stunningly beautiful'. He prefers to be seen with the friend, and told my sister, if she lost some weight and did something with herself, maybe he'd want to be seen in public with her :mad: .
And that after 40 years, everyone finds that they have lost interest in their spouse. There's way more stuff, that I just won't go into, because the more I think about it the madder I get. Honestly, if I see that $*@$#( jerk again, I'd like to stick a bat where the sun doesn't shine. The good thing is that my sis is planning on buying some property out where we live, we've never been very close as she is 10 years older, and left home when I was 9 but since moving out to BC, she and I have started getting together more and more. And she loves to sew. And she is a very attractive woman, course if she had all the plastic surgery that the 'friend' has had, she'd have that Barbie doll look too. I just had to do some venting.
Tickled pink with my Innovis 4000D
User: bridesmom
Member since: 01-21-2004
Total posts: 2026
From: esrun3
Date: 11-07-2005, 08:45 AM (2 of 18)
Laura, all I can say is WOW! He sure sounds like a big time jerk! Your sister is lucky to have you. Feel free to vent anytime!
User: esrun3
Member since: 12-02-2004
Total posts: 2345
From: mamahoogie
Date: 11-07-2005, 09:37 AM (3 of 18)
He thought she should lose some weight? I'd say she probably lost almost 200 lbs of ugly fat when she left him! :bg: :bg: :bg:
I left a loser many, many years ago and swore off men - been happily married now for over 17 years! So you never know!
Tell your sister to hang in there and make a new and happier life for herself.
Glad you are getting to know each other again.
I've decided to live forever - so far, so good.
User: mamahoogie
Member since: 12-25-2002
Total posts: 461
From: Tom Land
Date: 11-07-2005, 09:37 AM (4 of 18)
Sounds like you sis lost all the weight she needed to when he left. But still no one likes to be rejected. Hope she gets through it ok. My "once a Barbie Doll" is now well over 200lbs and has turned into a "living doll" that I wouldn't give up for anything.
Have fun or don't do it, Tom
User: Tom Land
Member since: 09-21-2005
Total posts: 514
From: MaryW
Date: 11-07-2005, 11:30 AM (5 of 18)
Hi Tom and welcome to Sew Whats New. :bluesmile

Forty yrs. of marriage is a very long time.
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
From: dmoses
Date: 11-07-2005, 02:28 PM (6 of 18)
Forty yrs. of marriage is a very long time.

Especially if it's a miserable one!
I'm trying to imagine the overwhelming sense of relief when all is finalized.
I think, if it were me, I would feel tempted to send 'Miss Artificial Parts' a thank you note for taking him off my hands. But I wouldn't include a return address...because you know she will eventually try to give him back!
Take care,
User: dmoses
Member since: 02-22-2002
Total posts: 964
From: SummersEchos
Date: 11-07-2005, 03:23 PM (7 of 18)
Glad you and your sister are becoming friends again. That will be wonderful for you. As far as the divorce, 40 years is a long time, but things happen, we all have our reasons for staying or leaving. I hope your sister will be happy, and the two of you can become good friends with lots of sewing time.

User: SummersEchos
Member since: 09-29-2004
Total posts: 884
From: Magot
Date: 11-07-2005, 03:23 PM (8 of 18)
I reject the fact that everybody loses interest after 40 years! If you don't put the effort in and look after your relationship then maybe - it sounds like he hadn't put the effort in for a long time.
That must be hard to start again on your own after so long, even if he was a pain. Even if you have a bad tooth pulled your tongue keeps going back to the raw hole....I'm glad she can be nearer to you, Laura. Such a change in circumstances needs support.
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: Chrysantha
Date: 11-07-2005, 04:01 PM (9 of 18)
My sister is 7 yrs younger than I am, never been married.....her dog adores her... :bg: :bg: :bg:
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: Dede
Date: 11-07-2005, 04:50 PM (10 of 18)
I think it's all for the best. The more you'll talk to your sister the more you'll realized how long she has been living like this. She has suspected for a long time what was going on (bet you dollars do doughnuts). She's lucky to have you; just be there and listen and she'll thank you for the rest of her life.
User: Dede
Member since: 03-23-2001
Total posts: 469
From: Magot
Date: 11-07-2005, 05:07 PM (11 of 18)
So, what you are saying Crys, scratch 'em behind the ears, rub their tummys and throw them a bone every now and then.....

hmmmmm :love: works for me!
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: Bama
Date: 11-07-2005, 05:42 PM (12 of 18)
I can't think of a word bad enough for a "friend" who would take up with her best friend's husband. Sounds like your sis is better off without both of them.
I've seen the same thing happen to someone I know. Only it wasn't the best friend, it was the babysitter. :shock:
The man eventually cheated on the "new" woman too. Seems she she also became too old for him and he found another younger woman.

I hope your sis gets everything they own. :mad: Sorry, it just makes me sick to hear of a man like that. There's NO excuse for cheating. He should have left BEFORE taking up with the "best friend".
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000
Total posts: 2116
From: bridesmom
Date: 11-08-2005, 12:33 AM (13 of 18)
today I have just been thinking about my sister and I go between being so angry and in tears for her. Her oldest daughter is getting married the end of this month in Perth and they (her, jerk hubby and 'friend') are all flying down there the end of this week. I can't imagine how in the world she is going to deal with this next few weeks. At least her son and new daughter in law are going down closer to the wedding so she will have some support, though I'm not sure how much the kids all know at the moment. I know her married son is privy to all whats going on, as he works for his dad and finally couldn't handle the pressure anymore and told her some of the stuff that was happening. I'm pretty sure that she's going to be quite well off financially, he's big into making money and does very well at it, she has never had to work, but has made some of the most incredible teddy bears that sell for $1000 or more and has taught classes, sewing is her first love and she does a beautiful job of whatever she makes.
Tickled pink with my Innovis 4000D
User: bridesmom
Member since: 01-21-2004
Total posts: 2026
From: dmoses
Date: 11-08-2005, 10:18 AM (14 of 18)
The whole wedding situation sounds terrible. I can't believe the 'friend' would still go...but then again, she obviously has no decency. Wouldn't she be a pariah there to everyone but the 'jerk'? I think it is a total lack of respect for the family that he would bring her there, anyway. It is the daugher's day, after all. It is bad enough that the parents' relationship has gone sour, but to have the other one there is a blatant reminder of the pain. It's a real slap in the face, but I guess he doesn't care whose day he ruins as long as he gets what he wants.
Take care,
User: dmoses
Member since: 02-22-2002
Total posts: 964
From: Sewhappie
Date: 11-08-2005, 10:20 AM (15 of 18)
How about "Two-Faced, Backstabbing, Low-Life, Man-Stealing, LOOSER!!!"

I think that about sums the "so-called best friend".
User: Sewhappie
Member since: 10-27-2001
Total posts: 1427
From: plrlegal
Date: 11-08-2005, 03:01 PM (16 of 18)
Any woman that thinks that a man that is cheating with her on his wife won't cheat on her is stupid, blind and dumb all rolled into one and my theory is "once a 'runner' always a 'runner'. As in "leopards can't, don't and won't change their spots". The 'other woman' always gets paid back what she dealt out and usually double.

User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001
Total posts: 318
From: debsews
Date: 11-08-2005, 03:59 PM (17 of 18)
As Dr. Phil says "If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you!! Cheaters usually are cheaters - it doesn't matter who the other woman is or what the wife looks like. Makes me wonder if he was always doing something and this is just the time he decided to make the break. She's better off!!
User: debsews
Member since: 09-16-2005
Total posts: 254
From: AndreaSews
Date: 11-08-2005, 04:12 PM (18 of 18)
Blech. I'm sorry Laura. She'll be really proud of you one day, the little sister that was there for her--for helping her through the sticky situations that may arise while everyone is coming to terms with these changes.
User: AndreaSews
Member since: 02-18-2005
Total posts: 1007
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