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This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: debsews
Date: 01-03-2006, 08:29 PM (1 of 16)
Here's the problem. We moved to Florida 4 years ago after my husband retired and I quit my job. The grandchildren are still very young, 13 to 3 months and there are 10 of them. I miss them all very much and they wish we could move back to Ohio. I'm leaning toward going back but I hate to make my dh ( this is a second marriage) go back when he loves it here so much. I feel really torn between wanting to be with the kids and being selfish about the weather here. Suggestions? I need someone who's not involved to give me a sounding board.
User: debsews
Member since: 09-16-2005
Total posts: 254
From: allie-oops
Date: 01-03-2006, 08:53 PM (2 of 16)
Dang. Is there any way you can live 6mos in FL, 6mos in Ohio? That would be the ideal. But if you can't, there is no replacing is what keeps me here in Michigan. Do a lot of talking it over with dh!
"onward through the fog"
User: allie-oops
Member since: 10-25-2002
Total posts: 282
From: Chrysantha
Date: 01-03-2006, 10:12 PM (3 of 16)
I've been living in FL for 10 yrs now. If I could leave I WOULD. (in a NY min).
I don't find the weather here so great..too hot...too humid...too many bugs.
The lightening is terrible, the hurricanes NASTY, flooding rains are just plain weird....
The only family I have is a sister in OR and I'd be there if I could. Of course OR is not OH and my husband has a (great) job here in FL. While he's satisfied. I'm not. (I've only been married far :wink: )

Didn't you two talk before you got married ??? I would have been asking all kinds of questions. (in fact I DO ask all kinds of questions STILL and we've been together 31 yrs.)

FL is fulla snow birds...easy to become one.... :bg:
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: plrlegal
Date: 01-04-2006, 12:08 AM (4 of 16)
Debsews I have a 1st cousin and his wife that live in Virginia in the summer and in Florida (Sun City) in the winter. Of course, they've kept their home in Virginia that I think is probably paid for and bought a conco in Florida for the winter months.

User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001
Total posts: 318
From: dmoses
Date: 01-04-2006, 08:19 AM (5 of 16)
How often do you get to go back to Ohio? Why not keep your eye out for seat sales, and make trips back to see your family from time to time. If you go on your own, you can relax more, and everyone gets a little of what they want. You can't make all of the people happy all of the time... :wink:
Take care,
User: dmoses
Member since: 02-22-2002
Total posts: 964
From: MaryW
Date: 01-04-2006, 08:54 AM (6 of 16)
I know about grandkids, I have four. I would think long and hard before making any moves. There is lots to think about and hubbys side of things should be carefully considered.
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
From: toadusew
Date: 01-04-2006, 10:01 AM (7 of 16)
I'll echo what Mary said.

I have 3 grandkids who live in Vegas and I'm in the process of moving to the east coast. We have managed to visit each other about once a year, and we talk on the phone often. For Christmas we got ourselves and my daughter's family one of those video webcam thingys (don't really know what the proper term is) that allows us to send video e-mails and video IM's. It's not ideal, but it is a good way for the grandkids to get to know us and allow us to "see" each other.

I once heard Dr. Phil tell a young couple not to base where they live on where they're families. He made the point that things could always change, and I have to agree since I've experienced that myself. That's very true--in today's world, companies sometimes transfer workers, so if you moved back to Ohio, what if your children, or their spouses, got transferred?

Donna has a good point about checking out special airline deals--maybe that would be a good starting point before making any major moves or decisions. :smile:
User: toadusew
Member since: 01-08-2005
Total posts: 369
From: debsews
Date: 01-04-2006, 10:02 AM (8 of 16)
I probably should have said that the decision to move to Florida was certainly a joint decision and we have been married for 16 years. It's just now that I feel selfish wanting to be in Ohio with the kids and grands. My son is very close to me and he is really pushing for us to come back. My dh will probably do whatever I want, it's just hard to make that choice knowing he loves it here. The back and forth snow bird thing just wouldn't work for us. We need to be in one place or the other. dh day trades and I sew. I wouldn't want to try and move my sewing stuff back and forth and we really couldn't afford to have two places anyway.
Thanks for the input. This is one of those things I'll just have to pray about and see what comes along. We did talk to the realtor up north yesterday and he's mailing us a package of some things they are building in a couple of new places. It's always something I guess. I don't like the weather there but family is important.
User: debsews
Member since: 09-16-2005
Total posts: 254
From: mamahoogie
Date: 01-04-2006, 02:26 PM (9 of 16)
Could you take a month or two off in the summer when it's too hot in Florida but nice in Ohio and maybe rent a cottage for that time. You could have the grandkids for some quality time that way. Seat sales sound like a great idea and maybe the kids could bring you back to Ohio for a Mother's Day or birthday present???
I have 3 grandkids and 2 of them live 9 hours drive away so we only see them a few times a year so I know what it's like to be apart from them.
I've thought of getting one of those webcams too but haven't yet.
Good luck'
I've decided to live forever - so far, so good.
User: mamahoogie
Member since: 12-25-2002
Total posts: 461
From: SummersEchos
Date: 01-04-2006, 02:51 PM (10 of 16)
My folks traveled in an travel trailer during the winter months in Mich. Then come May they would come back home and stay till Oct. It was nice for them, they deserved to be able to do that. Once they had to come back in Jan. with the cold winter we had. My house caught on fire and dad had to come home and suprevise it all getting put back together. Once in a while they would fly home for Christmas, sped a few days then fly back to warmer weather. As dad got older he bought a place in Texas where they could stay if they were not up to traveling. Mom sewed and dad built a place for her sewing machine and stuff. Some of my aunts and uncles still travel all winter long, cell phones are wonderful to keep in touch, many campgrounds have internet access, and if they want to stay in one place for a month or so, they check out all the places to stay and pick one.
It is hard to not be able to see family. Good luck with your decision making.

User: SummersEchos
Member since: 09-29-2004
Total posts: 884
From: paroper
Date: 01-05-2006, 05:46 AM (11 of 16)
I think that the older we get, as the family grows, the more we want to be around and enjoy them. It's a hard decision.

My cousin spent decades in South America in the diplomatic corp. He and his wife had a wonderful life and enjoyed it tremendously. His kids grew up and moved back to the US, to the area where the family still owned land. As they started having their own kids and the kids got active, his wife told him that she just couldn't stand being away from their family. They made the hard decision to leave the corp and relocated (back) to the states. They have been incredibly happy here. Although his job was rather special to South America, he settled in a university town and has a seat (and very busy job) at the university. Perhaps it is time to sit down and talk to your husband to see if there is a way to work it out for yourselves. With a little creativity, maybe you can both be happy "back home".

Bernina 200e, Artista V5 Designer Plus, Explorations, Magic Box, Bernina 2000DE & 335 Bernette Serger, Bernina 1530 Sewing Machine, Bernina 1300 DC Overlock (with coverstitch)
User: paroper
Member since: 02-03-2004
Total posts: 3775
From: debsews
Date: 01-05-2006, 10:19 AM (12 of 16)
Well sometimes things just become very clear. The lady at the sewing shop died suddenly on Monday morning. She was 77 and very active. Her children had asked her to slow down and she replied that time is short and you must do what you love. Well a week or so later she is gone, dressed for work and ready to leave the house. I think we need to go back to Ohio and dh is pretty much in agreement as he asked me this morning what we needed to do to the house to get it ready for sale. The market in Florida, especially in the Villages, is hot right now and of course this is the busy time for people who are looking to relocate. I am not one to think that just because you made a decision 4 years ago to do something you have to live with it forever. So having said all that, thank you for all the good advice. It certainly gave me something to think about. I'll never get this time back with the kids and I think I would always regret it if I didn't go back to spend the formative years with them. I always let the Lord have the final say in that if the house just won't sell or things don't work out we will know it's not time to go.
User: debsews
Member since: 09-16-2005
Total posts: 254
From: mozeyrn
Date: 01-06-2006, 12:18 PM (13 of 16)
My parents live in the La Reynalda section. That place is awesome! I guess since my family and I only visit for a week at a time and my dh enjoys spending time with my dad it's different for us.
We're thinking about moving down to FL - transfer with my dh's work. It's so up in the air - one day he wants to move and the next day he wants to stay in NJ (it's not imperative that we move but would make things easier workwise for him). He knows I would like to move to be closer to my parents (they're not getting any younger - we'd be about 2 hours away which is do-able) so at least he knows I won't object. I'm a NJ RN so for me to find a job shouldn't be too hard (I have a B.S. degree in another field). My dh grew up in Chagrin Falls, OH and loves to go back to visit but I know his life is in NJ. I'm sorry he's having such a difficult decision - I'll just have to support him in his decision since I can go either way.
- Maureen.
Learning something new with every stitch!!
Kenmore 16231000
User: mozeyrn
Member since: 11-29-2005
Total posts: 349
From: Donaburd
Date: 01-07-2006, 11:47 AM (14 of 16)
Hi Maureen, I can understand your feelings. BTW I have friends that live in the Villages and they also love it. When we moved here 15yrs ago, my DH was very nervous about the whole idea. We grew up in upstate NY and he had been with his co. 20 yrs. But then my son went off to Univ of Central Florida, got married and the first grandchild was born and I think that first year we made 4 trips to FL. LOL He decided we couldn't continue that and took a transfer. It was the best thing we did. Just to put your mind at ease, if your DH decides to make the move you certainly will not have a problem obtaining employment. I don't know of a hospital or health care agency that is not crying for nurses. I worked in hospital Admissions here in Melbourne before I retired and know there is a dire need of good nurses all over the State and definitely in this area. If I can help with any other info don't hesitate to ask.
User: Donaburd
Member since: 12-15-2005
Total posts: 38
From: glamma1940
Date: 01-07-2006, 04:28 PM (15 of 16)
I can certainly understand wanting to be near your family. We have 5 children (grown up) but they all live all over the west. We were transferred to Salt Lake City, UT from Phoenix, AZ. Three of our kids eventually moved to Utah. Our oldest daughter & family live in Morgan Hill CA. The next oldest lives in Paradise Valley AZ. The AZ one begged us to retire in AZ. My DH hates cold weather & doesn't feel good in it, so I consented to move to Phoenix. While I love it here, and it is nice to be around our 2 grandchildren from our daughter, we miss our other kids and our grandson in Utah. Buttttt, then again, I miss my other daughter and grandchildren in CA. It's a vicious cycle. We have tried to visit & have them visit as much as we can, & talk on the phone all the time, but it's not the same as dropping in for a cup of coffee at any time. If all my children lived in the same place, that's where I would be!!! So I say MOVE where your kids are. Hope I didn't ramble too much.
User: glamma1940
Member since: 08-11-2005
Total posts: 21
From: MaryW
Date: 01-07-2006, 05:30 PM (16 of 16)
Glamma, hi and welcome to Sew Whats New. Thanks for your input.
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
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