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The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Pudge99
Date: 01-14-2006, 03:03 PM (1 of 17)
Well, I did it today. I took my dog for the final vet trip. He was in so much pain that he couldn't even stand up.
I hate that I had to make the decision to end his life. I have had him my whole adult life. Being a grown-up sucks.
Normally I clean when someone dies it helps keep me busy while my mind works through it all. But I can not clean because everywhere I turn there is dog hair (he was shedding like crazy these last few weeks) and then I burst into tears again.
I need suggestions to get me through these first few days. I am going to try and sew but I am so used to having him underfoot that I probably won't get very far in that either.
Gina
Pictures of my successes and failures
Pfaff 2040
Janome Mylock 134D
Singer Futura CE-100 w/ Autopunch
Husqvarna Viking 3D Sketch
User: Pudge99
Member since: 10-30-2001
Total posts: 1375
From: Dede
Date: 01-14-2006, 03:29 PM (2 of 17)
Gina, I'm so sorry. I don't think there's a trick to grieving. You have to feel your emotions in order to sort them out. Take your time.

Hugs & kisses are coming your way.
User: Dede
Member since: 03-23-2001
Total posts: 469
From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 01-14-2006, 03:48 PM (3 of 17)
Hugs to you, Gina.. I know exactly how you feel.. I can't think of any activity to suggest in the home, but what about Something outside the home. Maybe some outing with the children. This ache will get better as time goes by, and you will be able to remember the good times with a lighter heart..
Sew With Love
Libby
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002
Total posts: 2022
From: MaryW
Date: 01-14-2006, 03:55 PM (4 of 17)
Love ya Gina. I have done this. Take a deep breath and keep cleaning. It will get better. :love:
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
From: plrlegal
Date: 01-14-2006, 04:53 PM (5 of 17)
Sending [[[[[]]]]]] lots of hugs Gina. I've also been there and done that. When DH and I had to have our little girl Mercy put to sleep, it broke both our hearts and we both cried for a long time but it does pass and only time heals the heart. Cry when you feel like it, I did and I think it helps immensely. We now have another little girl and I try not to think about when the time comes for DH and I to make the same decision about her. But, in the meantime, hugs to you and you will miss your dear companion but go ahead and grieve, it's good for you.

Patsy
Patsy
User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001
Total posts: 318
From: bridesmom
Date: 01-14-2006, 11:09 PM (6 of 17)
Gina, my sympathy is with you. It's so hard to lose someone you love, even those adorable four legged ones. Will be thinking of you lots!
Laura
Tickled pink with my Innovis 4000D
User: bridesmom
Member since: 01-21-2004
Total posts: 2026
From: SummersEchos
Date: 01-14-2006, 11:30 PM (7 of 17)
Gina,
Hugs to you. It is hard to go to the vet for the final visit. When my Jake had to be put to sleep, all the kids had to come with me. Well needless to say I was the only one who didn't leave the room before it all started to happen, and I sat there and held his head with his ball in his mouth till he finally left me. It was hard, very hard, and like you no matter what I did I saw Jake. Time helped me, knowing I had a good friend and Jake did too. I just kept thinking how he was better off now, no more pain, and rmember all the days out in the backyard throwing that ball for him. Cry when you want too, they are a big part of the family.
Summer

FREE FALLIN
User: SummersEchos
Member since: 09-29-2004
Total posts: 884
From: Chrysantha
Date: 01-14-2006, 11:33 PM (8 of 17)
I'm so very sorry...having been through that time and again these past 3 yrs. I know exactly how you feel.

www.petloss.com

www.ivillage.com type in pet bereavement.

I belong to both these sites. They help you cope with out making you feel like an idiot, for loving your furry baby. You were a good Mom to have him him such a long time. [[[ ]]] Thank you for giving him a good home.Not all animals (or people) are so lucky. Cry, scream and yell all you want. He was your baby, you have a right to your feelings. (don't let anyone tell you different). I'ts been 7 mnths since I lost my last baby....I still cry over stupid things. I cried so much last night my husband looked at me this morning and thought someone had punched me in the face. (my eyes were swollen and very red). It just takes time...Just remember...you loved him and he loved you back. It'll be better one day and you can laugh at all his funny ways.

[[[ ]]]

Kath the ferret Mom.
Chrys
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: MotherInLaw
Date: 01-15-2006, 12:16 AM (9 of 17)
My thoughts are with you Gina. Dont' feel bad about what you had to do. You did the best thing if he was suffering.
I'm regressing back into my youth, I just have to figure out how I'm going to convience my body to come along with me.
User: MotherInLaw
Member since: 06-25-2005
Total posts: 1118
From: bren
Date: 01-15-2006, 02:04 AM (10 of 17)
I have been there to Gina...cried all the way home .... One of the hardest things I ever had to do ...Like Mary said ...keep cleaning ...it will get easier...and were here for you.
Bren:
Don't let anyone ...Live Rent Free In Your Head
User: bren
Member since: 11-30-2002
Total posts: 489
From: Ole' Girl
Date: 01-15-2006, 01:00 PM (11 of 17)
My heart is with you. I too know how tough it is. We had to have our little dog put to sleep right before Christmas one year when my kids were still at home. Talk about tears!
Our pom is 11 years old and I just dread the day.

Shirley Clark
User: Ole' Girl
Member since: 03-13-2005
Total posts: 33
From: Bama
Date: 01-15-2006, 02:56 PM (12 of 17)
Gina,
I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. We had our 13yo lab mix put down in August. It was like losing a member of the family. It was hard but I know it was the best thing for her.
Just remember you did it to help him. You took on the pain of losing him so he wouldn't suffer anymore.

When our Tippy died, Chrys suggested that site to me too. www.petloss.com
I found poems and stories for my 13yo daughter that helped her get through it as well. Now we remember Tippy and can laugh at things she used to do. It just takes time.
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000
Total posts: 2116
From: Sancin
Date: 01-15-2006, 04:10 PM (13 of 17)
Losing a favourite pet, person or even item is a loss and nothing will be the same again, a hole has occured. The hole has to heal just like a wound but there will always be a hole, healed or not. Everyone copes differently. One of the problems we have in todays society, and particularly as women, is judging ourselves too strongly. We think there should be somethings more important than others even when they are not. We also judge ourselves on our emotions and how we handle them.

My mother died New Years Day after 11 years in long term care facilities suffering from dementia. I was very very sad sitting with her as she slipped away and didn't feel the sense of relieve others have suggested should be felt. In reality, I said goodbye to her years ago when I could no longer relate to her through words (but could for quite a while though touch - then not even that). My children surprised me with their concern for my coping. They phoned (we are all in different cities) me very frequently the several days it took Mom to die. They stated they were surprised at my reactions (emotions?). I have wondered if they were thinking what their feelings would be if I were to die or thought I should be saying and expressing something other than profound sadness.
*~*~*~* Nancy*~*~*~* " I try to take one day at a time - but sometimes several days attack me at once."
User: Sancin
Member since: 02-13-2005
Total posts: 895
From: SnufflesMama
Date: 01-18-2006, 03:06 PM (14 of 17)
I'm so sorry for your loss Gina. After I lost my cat, Pandora after 23 years, I thought I'd never get over it. I'm not sure that we ever do, really. We just find ways to live with the "hole", like Sancin said. Please know that we are all here for you and we understand how you feel. Sometimes a less than understanding person will say..."It's just a dog, cat, farret, whatever" But I think that God rewards those who love their furry family members with a lifetime of their own as a pampered purr-monster. (or bark-monster). What could be more heavenly?....Having your favorite food every day, sleeping in the people bed,sharing the best tv-chair in the house and getting hugs, chin scratches, and belly rubs whenever you want them. (All you need to do is perfect the "big-sweet eyes" look) Not to mention the treats!! You loved someone wonderful and he will be waiting for you when it's your turn. He may even share his chew toy...what could be better than that????
User: SnufflesMama
Member since: 11-25-2005
Total posts: 24
From: carman
Date: 01-18-2006, 03:09 PM (15 of 17)
http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

i was sent this link when we had to put our dogs down, gosh still puts a lump in my throat to think about it and to read the poem again.
User: carman
Member since: 04-17-2000
Total posts: 692
From: Pudge99
Date: 01-18-2006, 03:58 PM (16 of 17)
That is a nice poem. Thank You.
My birthday was yesterday and guess what my husband did. NO he did not get me a new puppy I am so not ready for that. He went through my before him photo albums and found a puppy picture of Moose and took it to Walgreen's made an 8X10 and framed it. The really weird and freaky thing about it is that out of a whole photo album of just Moose he picked the same picture that I had blown up and given to my dad(I think that was when I moved out).
I think it is so hard on me because he has been through everything with me. I got him shortly after I graduated highschool. He was there when I brought my first child home from the hospital. We got our first apartment together and got evicted from said apartment together too (because of him). He was there through my first marriage and divorce. He moved with me from IL to FL to Germany to TX. He always new I was pregnant before I did and would move from his place at my feet on the bed to guard duty at my belly. He was better thatn an EPT. He welcomed home each baby I had with a lick and a sniff until the last one when he just looked at me rolled his eyes and walked away. He helped me grieve when I lost my baby and my mother within a month of each other. He kept me sane during those 4 1/2 months that my youngest daughter was in the German hospital. He has been there for every major thing that has happened in my adult life. It is going to be rough moving on and making memories without him.
Gina
Pictures of my successes and failures
Pfaff 2040
Janome Mylock 134D
Singer Futura CE-100 w/ Autopunch
Husqvarna Viking 3D Sketch
User: Pudge99
Member since: 10-30-2001
Total posts: 1375
From: esrun3
Date: 01-19-2006, 09:56 PM (17 of 17)
Gina, sending hugs your way. I'm so sorry you had lose your beloved pet! I've been in your shoes. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Take a deep breath, take care of yourself and know that whatever you do, the grief will subside over time and then you will have the memories of your wonderful pet! I'll keep you in my prayers.
Lyn
User: esrun3
Member since: 12-02-2004
Total posts: 2345
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