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From: lizzybugsmommy
Date: 10-05-2006, 12:38 PM (1 of 21)
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This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Please let me know how you guys delt with the first time. My Mother has decided that she wants to take Elizabeth on a mini vacation with her. She will be leaving today and be gone until Sunday. I have only left her 3 nites in her whole life and it was just next door with Mom. She will be 4 hours away. I Guess I am just nervous about her going without me. Mom was a great Mother and took very good care of us but......... Ok is this normal for my first time of letting her go somewhere? Greg (dh) just called and he was ok with this until he had to tell her bye. I think this will give us time to take a break and spend quality time with each other. That has not been done in a long time. I guess I am being over protected
Catherine
http://www.photoworks.com/share/shareSignin.jsp?shareCode=A0E42A2C202&cp=ems_shr_a lb_pml&cb=PW Husbands gone fishing..... I've gone fabric shopping |
User: lizzybugsmommy
Member since: 05-20-2006 Total posts: 207 |
From: 5inNH
Date: 10-05-2006, 01:43 PM (2 of 21)
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Hi: How old is your daughter? We let my brother/SIL take our oldest overnight when he was six. It was hard but we still had a baby at home. I'm not comfortable leaving my children with anyone but family. It's okay for you to feel the way you do but enjoy the 1:1 time with your dh, sleep late, take a long bubble bath and I bet you'll enjoy your daughter even more when she comes home. Your mom will take good care of her! Michelle |
User: 5inNH
Member since: 10-04-2006 Total posts: 16 |
From: lendube
Date: 10-05-2006, 01:45 PM (3 of 21)
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Please try your best to just do it! It's good for everyone, you as a couple, your mom, and your little Elizabeth (I have an Eliz. too but she's 25!) As long as you're comfortable with the care your Mom gives her what's there to worry about? You and your husband need romantic one on one time. That's so important. He'll be there long after the kids are gone and you need to nourish that relationship. Just promise each other to concentrate on each other and not talk about Eliz. the whole time she's gone. Go out to dinner and kick up the romance!   Can't say I'm speaking from experience since I never had trouble letting go. I welcomed the breaks actually. I'm lucky to have had loving parents that helped out. Have a good time. She will too. An important piece of advice; don't make the leaving dramatic. Keep it loving, short and matter of fact. Eliz. will be watching you for clues. Enjoy it! Lennie
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User: lendube
Member since: 08-06-2006 Total posts: 1548 |
From: DorothyL
Date: 10-05-2006, 01:52 PM (4 of 21)
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I'm another one that welcomed the breaks but that first time is really rough. Like everyone says, enjoy the time for yourself and your husband. Maybe your mom sees that you all need the break. Moms are like that, you know. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: lizzybugsmommy
Date: 10-05-2006, 02:35 PM (5 of 21)
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She will be 4 in January. My friends said I have waited too long. But I think anytime is toooo soon.LOL I know she will be fine and have a good time. I am just so use to her being right here by my side all the time and yes I guess I am feeling guilty that I do need a break. I think the hardest thing of being a parent is letting go. I dont know what I will do when she gets married LOL. Greg has already asked me on a date for Sat and it has been 5 years since we have been on one of these. I cant wait for this night out.
Catherine
http://www.photoworks.com/share/shareSignin.jsp?shareCode=A0E42A2C202&cp=ems_shr_a lb_pml&cb=PW Husbands gone fishing..... I've gone fabric shopping |
User: lizzybugsmommy
Member since: 05-20-2006 Total posts: 207 |
From: pucktricks
Date: 10-05-2006, 04:11 PM (6 of 21)
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I'll echo everyohne else, go out and have a ball! I think the first time is the hardest, but after that you're going to be addicted to it, and be really looking forward to those times when you get a chance to get away (or at least that's how I felt, and mine are 19 months). Just think of all the things you used to do, that now you can do again. Ticia |
User: pucktricks
Member since: 03-31-2004 Total posts: 570 
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From: esrun3
Date: 10-05-2006, 07:01 PM (7 of 21)
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I think the anxiety you are experiencing is normal, however, I agree, it's probably past time for her to be able to be away from you-take advantage of the time for yourselves. I've taken all of my grandchildren overnight almost from the time they were born-all so far were bottle fed so it wasn't a problem, I may not have my daughter's as early overnight as she plans to breastfeed but still, an afternoon away does mom and dad good and allows a wonderful bond between grandma and grandchild! Once my oldest grandchild was about 2 I was taking him overnight or for a few days to visit my parents out of town. I know it's hard but she will be fine, have a good time and enjoy you more when she's back home! Try to enjoy the time you have for yourself.
Lyn
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User: esrun3
Member since: 12-02-2004 Total posts: 2345 |
From: Patty22
Date: 10-05-2006, 09:17 PM (8 of 21)
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"My Mother has decided that she wants to take Elizabeth on a mini vacation with her." Maybe this is just me......BUT..............its one thing if you ask parents to give you some time, its another when they tell you when they're taking your kids. As a parent, it's up to you to decide if your daughter is capable of handling that much time away, etc., not your mother. Sounds like you and your husband would have both been happier if you had some control in the situation. But as I said before, this is just my own gut reaction to what you wrote. Patty
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User: Patty22
Member since: 03-29-2006 Total posts: 1194 |
From: lizzybugsmommy
Date: 10-05-2006, 10:01 PM (9 of 21)
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I recieved a call from Elizabeth and she says she is having fun. They made it there safely. I am enjoying it but I still keep thinking she is in the other room. I know I called my nephew Lizzy 100 times this afternoon. I know I am over protective but it comes from working on an ambulance and in rescue for about 12 years now. I use too be easy going until I had her. I guess it is a protection thing. My parents were the same with us kids. I understand now why they were. They did allow Grandparents to take us on vacations and stuff but they felt they had us it was their resposibility to take care of us. Greg and I have always had that attitude and have never asked anyone to watch her unlessthere was no choice. Like a visit to the ER or somthing. We feel if Elizabeth isnt able to go then we cant go. We really do need this time to ourselves. Who knows in July maybe Lizzy will have a baby brother or sister. LOL I can only hope. Thank you guys for making me feel better.
Catherine
http://www.photoworks.com/share/shareSignin.jsp?shareCode=A0E42A2C202&cp=ems_shr_a lb_pml&cb=PW Husbands gone fishing..... I've gone fabric shopping |
User: lizzybugsmommy
Member since: 05-20-2006 Total posts: 207 |
From: DorothyL
Date: 10-05-2006, 10:43 PM (10 of 21)
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I think -- and my kids and husband agreed -- I was over protective. Fortunately my kids survived me. They need love and security from you but they also need all the friends they can get. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: carman
Date: 10-05-2006, 11:14 PM (11 of 21)
my sister mind you is a single mom and the niece and nephew are now 11 and 16 (yikes) we live a province apart, i think since they were 2 or so we would go down to visit and we would bring the nephew back for a couple weeks and then when the niece was born the same thing with her, then we would bring them together for the summer months, i think my mom and dad had the harder time with it lol as they were the care givers at that time. we would spoil them ROTTEN for the time we had them, and then as my sister would say, she had to deprogram them the bond that we we were able to create with those kids was priceless, they now all, sister and kids, live about 5 minutes from us and they now come over to just hang out with auntie and uncle and the dogs lol. so think of the bonding your daughter is going to have, and the relationship that will help her in the future, and better yet, enjoy the bonding you are going to have with hubby 
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User: carman
Member since: 04-17-2000 Total posts: 692 
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From: MaryW
Date: 10-06-2006, 05:16 AM (12 of 21)
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Carman, you sound like a great aunt to those two. It's true, your kids need others besides parents. Once you get over this little event you will feel more comfortable letting her go.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: Sancin
Date: 10-06-2006, 03:49 PM (13 of 21)
Back in the late 1960's I read a sociological article on the 'demise of the great Boston aunt'. The aunt wore cameos and took children to classical musical and art events. She took them to tea, taught them table manners and how to wear gloves. Basically she was teaching children different perspectives to life. I had a Boston aunt, but my children did not. I think they missed beneficial life experiences, having no great aunt, yet there were a few people around who could have stepped in. My parents were great with them but their way of life was very like ours. The other grandparents did not take the children independently and basically were from Mars. As families have changed not all families exist as close extended families due to more movement - usually d/t employment - all over the world. In some communities the concept of honorary grandparents has been started. The last year I was teaching 2 + 3 year college students I had several students tell me I was the oldest person they had ever known 
*~*~*~* Nancy*~*~*~* " I try to take one day at a time - but sometimes several days attack me at once."
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User: Sancin
Member since: 02-13-2005 Total posts: 895 
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From: Sherri
Date: 10-06-2006, 05:03 PM (14 of 21)
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My kids visit my parents for 1-2 weeks every year by themselves. They have been doing this since they were born. It is great. You ever hear that statement it takes a village. That is because children learn from being around different people and getting different perspectives and experiences. sher My website
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User: Sherri
Member since: 02-07-2001 Total posts: 357 |
From: carman
Date: 10-06-2006, 08:18 PM (15 of 21)
i can only imagine what it is like to have the kids leave the first time, as we don't have kids, i have a hard enough time leaving my dogs i can only talk from the other side of being a very selfish auntie and LOVEING the time we had/have with the niece and nephew and being able to treat them likes kings and queens for their visits, and yes i know the transition time back was always a tad tough, but you know what, spoiling is what grammas and aunties are suppose to do we nearly adopted a few years ago and i was amazed at the reaction my niece and nephew were having, i don't think they even knew they were acting like they were, all of a sudden they became very protective of us and very involved in our lives, it was kind of cute in a way.we have few friends with kids that are getting older now but when they were smaller they knew they could call us and drop the kids off or go away for the weekend if we were not busy and those kids call us auntie and uncle as there families are not living near here, and we all look forward to spending holiday together etc. the only testy times are when they think that we have no life lol because we have no kids  but that is another bowl of cherries
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User: carman
Member since: 04-17-2000 Total posts: 692
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From: Sancin
Date: 10-07-2006, 03:11 PM (16 of 21)
Carmen -Congratulations!!!  
*~*~*~* Nancy*~*~*~* " I try to take one day at a time - but sometimes several days attack me at once."
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User: Sancin
Member since: 02-13-2005 Total posts: 895
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From: Magot
Date: 10-07-2006, 06:27 PM (17 of 21)
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weigh to go Carmen!
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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From: sewingrandma
Date: 10-09-2006, 11:23 AM (18 of 21)
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Nancy, I had to laugh when I read your note about the Boston Aunt. I had two "old maid" Aunts-from Boston. When any of their nieces/nephews turned 10 it was time to take them to Boston for a week and get an education. I'll always remember my visit. The meals at the Parker House Hotel (Parker House rolls), the Peter Pan rest. (never let the server go until you check your food for doneness), how to hale a taxi (Aunt Alice could really call them too, very loud wolf whistle, fingers in the mouth and all:shock, the Ice Capades, riding the subway, helping out in their boarding house, and all the time being reminded about manners, table and social. I can remember eating meals with them on holidays and my Dad getting his knuckles hit with the handle of a dinner knife for some infraction. I think he always did it on purpose just to see if the Aunts were still watching.
Brockie
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User: sewingrandma
Member since: 03-06-2003 Total posts: 432 |
From: DorothyL
Date: 10-09-2006, 11:48 AM (19 of 21)
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Well, so, did little Elizabeth get home in one piece, safe and sound? Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: lizzybugsmommy
Date: 10-09-2006, 06:53 PM (20 of 21)
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Elizabeth made it home late last night all in one piece. She came home with so many goodies that we are going to have to add on to the house. Greg took me fishing in the middle of nowhere in a boat I swear had a million holes in it. We drank some wine and fished. This is his idea of romantic. This is why I married him though. All of hi quirky ideas. I woke up sunday to breakfast in bed. He had to work Fri and Sat, so he did it all on Sunday. Sat I got to run fire and rescue calls without worring about who was going to watch Lizzy and I really enjoyed myself. It felt good being on the ambulance again. I also had time to take out the seams I messed up on an outfit. I must say I had a good weekend ,but I am glad my baby is home all of her in one piece. Thank you guys for the advise and the help getting through the first time. I cant wait for the next.LOl Love you all Catherine
http://www.photoworks.com/share/shareSignin.jsp?shareCode=A0E42A2C202&cp=ems_shr_a lb_pml&cb=PW Husbands gone fishing..... I've gone fabric shopping |
User: lizzybugsmommy
Member since: 05-20-2006 Total posts: 207 |
From: Sancin
Date: 10-09-2006, 11:18 PM (21 of 21)
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So glad Catherine that Elizabeth returned home safe and happy and what a great learning experience for you all!! Changes in routine and environment are great experiences and makes us love those we love even more. Did your Mother say how she survived? My mother was much younger than I am now as a new grandmother. I am not sure that I will be able to do and travel all that she and my father did with my two. One thing I think children learn being with other adults for a period of time is respect. My summers were spend in a large extended family and we had to listen to all the adults and their corrections and demands and different silliness. Because no one had total responsibility it was a more relaxed time for all. Something I think is missing in today's fast paced family life, especially when both parents work. Indeed - do look forward to the next time. *~*~*~* Nancy*~*~*~* " I try to take one day at a time - but sometimes several days attack me at once."
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User: Sancin
Member since: 02-13-2005 Total posts: 895
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