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From: Chrysantha
Date: 12-06-2006, 09:48 PM (1 of 24)
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I've been married (yes to the same person) for 28 yrs. (known him for 32). He came home from work yesterday and told me he was going out with a friend (Ron, he knows him from the AF...they see each other about every 2 mnths, whoopee) on friday...I said ok..did you forget something and he said I don't think so...I said friday is my birthday, I was planning to go out, just like E V E R Y Y E A R. ( I don't cook on my birthday.) He just stood there and looked at me...I make him a cake on HIS birthday. ( if -I- want one, I have to buy it or make one myself), I make him his fav dinner. ( he can't be bothered to cook just for me.) I can count the number of 'presents' he's given me over the years on ONE HAND. Now he's angry at ME for being pi**ed and not talking to him. (why talk...it doesn't seem to do any good.) Payback is a bi***....and I'm just the one who knows how to pay him back.... Yesterday I went to my fav fabric store and bought myself my birthday present. ($65. of fabric, needles and stabilizer. 26% off for my birthday, dealers gift to her customers.) ( my husband claims he doesn't buy me things, because he doesn't know what I like...he's been around me since we were 19. I decorate the house, decorate the yard, he's been with me when I've bought all 5 of my sewing, embroidery, serger machines, he knows my machine dealer. He knows the house is Asian (Japanese). I don't know whos the bigger fool here....me for staying, because I have nowhere else to go and have no way to pay for med. ins. or him, for not paying any attention to anyone but himself..(and his Dads and older brothers birthdays are within days of MINE...we're all saggitarians). Thanks for letting me vent...(and NO....no happy birthdays on fri...It would just make me cry...) Kath (the idiot...) Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414 
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From: woodywoodpecker
Date: 12-06-2006, 10:34 PM (2 of 24)
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Hey, your not alone here with this birthday thing(or christmas for that matter) , there are alot of us in the same position, so don't feel bad. That's just the way some males are. I always treat myself as well, and we have been married 44 years. So early Birthday wishes to you. Call up a girl friend and go out for the day and have fun doing something that you have always wanted to do, like get a tattoo, or body piercing, a manicure ect. I'm going to get a tattoo one of these days, just because. 
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User: woodywoodpecker
Member since: 11-07-2003 Total posts: 242 |
From: Magot
Date: 12-07-2006, 12:52 AM (3 of 24)
 I love the idea of going out and getting a tatoo! With your luck Kath, you'd be allergic...I always have to bake my own cake, cook my own birthday tea etc as well. Tony swears that I am difficult to buy for. As if. Still, you have to say you did your favourite thing - fabric shopping! Go and do it again on Friday! love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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From: Brenisback
Date: 12-07-2006, 06:38 AM (4 of 24)
Kath on his next birthday... just give him the same gift he gave you...and on your birthday buy youself a gift wrap it up ...buy a cake and have a friend over ...open your gift ...your a special person... and it's your Special day...make the most of it...he doesn't know what he is missing. 
Brenda
People come into your life ...for a Reason a Season or a Lifetime. |
User: Brenisback
Member since: 09-20-2004 Total posts: 228 |
From: pretnichols
Date: 12-07-2006, 08:07 AM (5 of 24)
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Chrys, sending hugs to you! I think men are just plain thoughtless, and no one ever "trained" them to think about birthdays. My DH is similar. I plan ALL parties at our house...Birthday, Anniversary. For our 10th anniversary in August this year -- a biggie, so he said -- we did NOTHING -- because I didn't plan it. ANd then was made to feel guilty about it. For Christmas this year, I bought myself some new jeans & pants -- and DH handed me the money and said thanks for shopping for me, this makes it so much easier. My parents have been married 53 years, and my Mom said it doesn't change! I agree with the otehrs -- plan a special day for yourself, celebrate with friends, etc. YOU deserve it! 
Peggy
So little time, sew much to do........... |
User: pretnichols
Member since: 10-16-2005 Total posts: 342 |
From: DorothyL
Date: 12-07-2006, 08:31 AM (6 of 24)
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Mine is just as bad. At the last minute he picks up some flowers on the way home from work and is so proud of himself. Mothers' Day was always the worse. I'd get so depressed but now I think it was mostly because I missed my mom. He is better now that the kids are grown and gone. One year I didn't get him a birthday gift and he pouted for a week. Happy Birthday Kath -- like it or not Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: weezyrider
Date: 12-07-2006, 10:07 AM (7 of 24)
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Go hug one of your pets. They always give the best, regardless. I'd go crazy without my cats. I can sympathize - my id ten t could never even remember his parents' birthdays. Has forgotten his daughter's, seems to remember mine, and our anniversary. (I'm the one that usually forgets anniversary.) He gets PO'd because he never knows what to get me. It took me years to train him about no traditional stuff - I don't want jewelry, clothes, candy, flowers. I like technology, but have all I want. The one thing I can't forgive - I made a sarcastic comment about the most important person in his life (meaning him) and he asked if I meant his brother! It should have been his daughter! Weezy 
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User: weezyrider
Member since: 08-19-2003 Total posts: 218 
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From: lendube
Date: 12-07-2006, 11:34 AM (8 of 24)
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Hope all the commiserating has helped. It's always comforting to know you're not alone. That's why we women are "healthier" than men. The only thing I envy about being a man is that they can pee standing up! So convenient!  Okay, Kath........pretend you're not reading the rest of this!  I know, we could have a virtual b'day party for Kath. On Friday we'll just have a special post and talk about the party for Kath and what's going on and the fun we're having.We can talk about what the place looks like, what present we brought, what surprises show up, what food we brought. Sounds corny but it's the best we can do and it sure might cheer up our little Kath! (And might make h (no "d") realize that others care about her b'day if she decides to let him know.) Game??? Lennie |
User: lendube
Member since: 08-06-2006 Total posts: 1548 |
From: SheliaHC
Date: 12-07-2006, 11:42 AM (9 of 24)
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Sounds like fun! Shelia |
User: SheliaHC
Member since: 12-28-2005 Total posts: 95 |
From: Magot
Date: 12-07-2006, 12:16 PM (10 of 24)
Lenny, there is an item you can buy that enables women to pee standing up - sort of a weird hose and funnel affair - my daughter tells me though all that happens is you pee in your boots, and the last drop goes down your trouser leg.... bagsie I do some party games - "pin the nose on the ferret" springs to mind. love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626
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From: lendube
Date: 12-07-2006, 01:36 PM (11 of 24)
Then there's always the "drip dry" thing........ What, pray tell, is "bagsie"??  Lennie |
User: lendube
Member since: 08-06-2006 Total posts: 1548 |
From: pretnichols
Date: 12-07-2006, 04:05 PM (12 of 24)
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Bagsie = dibs = she claims the right to set up the games! Hmmm....Kath's got allergies, so maybe a virtual party would be wonderful. Then we won't have to worry about her eating the wrong thing & getting ill. Nothing worse than being ill on your birthday, unless you "over" celebrated!  I'll help her blow out the candles & make a wish! What's your favorite color Chrys? Can we do the cake icing in it? Of course, I don't really like cake (or ice cream for that matter), so perhaps something different? One year I had candles in pizza; another year watermelon (not an easy task). Of course, I was about 8 or 9 then!!!
Peggy
So little time, sew much to do........... |
User: pretnichols
Member since: 10-16-2005 Total posts: 342 |
From: PaulineG
Date: 12-07-2006, 04:27 PM (13 of 24)
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Jan says bagsie. In OZ we say "I bags the .." Which means that I get the (whatever it is). The kids will say "I bags the front seat" - so they get to ride in the front. Its like staking a claim to something. Its nice for me to understand something (even though its slightly different) that most of you don't - it's usually the other way around. I always try to think if I'm using a term that is local rather than generic (but don't always know). Peggy has a point about these guys not being "trained". So anyone who has a still influencable (is that even a word)son - here is a gift that you can give to the women of the future - if you start today it can be a virtual birthday gift in memory of the occasion of Kaths forgotten birthday. Teach them to be thoughtful and kind - you will need to start young and train hard - older men will try to undermine your work. This training might be the silver lining Kath - because of the example of your **** h - girls will hopefully be getting a better deal with at least a few men in future. I've already got a good start with my 11 yo. Try to have a good day Kath - be totally self indulgent - it's not like hubby can complain.
Pauline
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User: PaulineG
Member since: 09-08-2006 Total posts: 901 |
From: DorothyL
Date: 12-07-2006, 05:26 PM (14 of 24)
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Pauline -- I have always believed women raise their daughters to be smart, thoughtful and tough because they know they will have to be. They raise their sons to be .... well... men. Dumb, thoughtless, self centered men. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: PaulineG
Date: 12-07-2006, 09:14 PM (15 of 24)
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I knew there was a reason I married young - I got mine when he was only 19 and I had the chance to overcome some of his shortcomings before he got totally set in his ways. It was the shortcomings I didn't see coming that I now regret. Oh well - he's hopeless with birthdays and anniversaries (I haven't seen a bunch of flowers in 20 years), but pretty good with the day to day stuff like helping around the house and a very involved father. For anybody who is struggling with husband training issues there was an article in a recent Readers Digest (in OZ anyway) about using animal training techniques on people. Might be worth a look. The author managed to get her husband to pick up his dirty socks! Pauline
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User: PaulineG
Member since: 09-08-2006 Total posts: 901 |
From: Magot
Date: 12-07-2006, 10:43 PM (16 of 24)
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That will be a red cake with black candles, Peggy. Watch out - she was a cake decorator! I say bags or basie - my daughter yells "Shotgun" to reserve something and the kids at school "tax" it - language changes too quickly at times! love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626
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From: Pudge99
Date: 12-08-2006, 10:23 AM (17 of 24)
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Jan, Shotgun here in the States refers to the front passenger seat. Comes from the old wild west days when one person drove and the other person held the shotgun. Gina
Pictures of my successes and failures Pfaff 2040 Janome Mylock 134D Singer Futura CE-100 w/ Autopunch Husqvarna Viking 3D Sketch |
User: Pudge99
Member since: 10-30-2001 Total posts: 1375 |
From: Patty22
Date: 12-08-2006, 10:30 AM (18 of 24)
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I want to know who blew up those ballons to look like body parts? Was that you Jan?
Patty
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User: Patty22
Member since: 03-29-2006 Total posts: 1194 |
From: Magot
Date: 12-08-2006, 11:40 AM (19 of 24)
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honestly, that was Dorothy - I was too busy organising the charades too bad "Hess of the Baskervilles" didn't win - even if it was "Tess of the Durbevilles." sorry there is silly string everywhere... love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626
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From: Patty22
Date: 12-08-2006, 12:16 PM (20 of 24)
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Oh.....this cake is REALLY good, but for some reason that red frosting isn't coming off my lips or tongue.....
Patty
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User: Patty22
Member since: 03-29-2006 Total posts: 1194 |
From: lendube
Date: 12-08-2006, 12:19 PM (21 of 24)
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Hi, I've started a new post just for the party. Looks like we're off to a good start if only the birthday girl shows up. Lennie
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User: lendube
Member since: 08-06-2006 Total posts: 1548 |
From: siwian
Date: 12-20-2006, 08:49 AM (22 of 24)
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Gee Pauline, Do they use those collars that provide a "little" shock whenever the animal doesn't respond appropriately? |
User: siwian
Member since: 12-27-2001 Total posts: 114 
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From: PaulineG
Date: 12-20-2006, 10:48 PM (23 of 24)
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While I can see the temptation I believe the theory was based more on reward for efforts. How DO you reward a husband?
Pauline
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User: PaulineG
Member since: 09-08-2006 Total posts: 901 |
From: Chrysantha
Date: 12-20-2006, 11:30 PM (24 of 24)
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by NOT killing him, even when the mood strikes...
Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414
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