Sew, What's Up

Sew What’s Up Presents

The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: ninifav
Date: 12-15-2006, 11:43 PM (1 of 17)
And have missed you all..dropped in once or twice but was too tired to say "Hi." After returning from San Antonio (8 hour drive!)for 11 days with DD and her family for Thanksgiving, I was unpacking and received a phone call that my Mom bottomed out and sent my Dad in an ambulance to the hospital...He had terminal metastatic prostate cancer and would not allow anyone else to take care of him...

Talk about two hard-headed people!! We just had to wait for them to fall took her three days before she had the energy to even get to the hospital to see him...Keep in mind that this is the same man that never ever even fixed his own plate of dinner in the million years that they have been married..(you know the generation???)

He was furious that he was in the hospital; had an impossibly low potassium and needed four units of blood...After a week he was placed in hospice reluctantly; and he passed away a week later...I have never seen anyone so adamant that he could still have chemo and that he wasn't going to die!! Very little nutrition for two weeks b/c he couldn't eat much...Lord only knows how bad the nutrition was at home...Mother hadn't slept more than a few hours for months and was too tired to eat..The house was unbelievably gross b/c of the inability to get around (we had some scrubbing to do before the funeral.) Oh, did I say that they were both 86 yrs old and incredibly stubborn??

And of course the situation brings out the best in some and the worst in others..I am the middle of five..and two of them make life miserable..My younger sister and I have ulcers in our mouths from biting ourselves trying to keep the situation under control...

I have had a day of rest and am recovering..Am at peace b/c I was with him and it was calm..Even though he was an extremely difficult man, everyone deserves dignity and the presence of their God at the time of death...

Mother is doing quite well; although I am the closest geographically (Lord give me strength) and will have the responsibility of her care..She will stay in that big house for a while until she decides that it is too much upkeep..

Goodness, but aren't I wordy...Just missed my sewing buddies...Hope to get back to sewing after Christmas...need the serenity that it brings..

Much cyber love to you all..and a Merry Christmas to my Christian friends and Happy Holidays to everyone else...

User: ninifav
Member since: 09-06-2004
Total posts: 204
From: Bama
Date: 12-15-2006, 11:57 PM (2 of 17)
I'm so sorry to hear you lost your dad. (((Big hugs to you)))

I'm glad you're back and wish you a Merry Christmas too.
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000
Total posts: 2116
From: Chrysantha
Date: 12-16-2006, 12:06 AM (3 of 17)
ahh geez....parents can be a pain... [[[ ]]]
I'm sorry you lost your Dad, too.
I hope your Chritsmas and New Year are a bit more quiet and peaceful...

User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: MotherInLaw
Date: 12-16-2006, 12:54 AM (4 of 17)
Bless you Paula. There is one in every family that has to take charge and it is usually the middle child and that was me also. I have no regrets knowing I was there for them and did what I could you are so right that there is peace in the end when they go peacefully. My prayers are with you and your family, and especially since you are going to have a time with your Mom now that may be a blessing or a handful which ever it is give it up to your higher power when it gets too much and you will get through alright. Hugs and I'm here if you need to chat or unload. susie
I'm regressing back into my youth, I just have to figure out how I'm going to convience my body to come along with me.
User: MotherInLaw
Member since: 06-25-2005
Total posts: 1118
From: Brenisback
Date: 12-16-2006, 03:44 AM (5 of 17)
Sorry to hear about your dad will never regret being there for your loved one...take care and look after yourself.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.

People come into your life ...for a Reason a Season or a Lifetime.
User: Brenisback
Member since: 09-20-2004
Total posts: 228
From: Mom of Six
Date: 12-16-2006, 07:06 AM (6 of 17)
Sorry you have had such a rough time at the holidays. Been there done that with sick parents. It is exausting but I wouldn't go back & do anything different. I had 7 siblings to share the load but basicly 2 of us did it all & I spent about 12 hrs. a day taking care of Dad for 5 months. It was the hardest & yet the best time I spent with him.
Happiness is having time to sew!!
User: Mom of Six
Member since: 11-03-2001
Total posts: 1115
From: DorothyL
Date: 12-16-2006, 10:17 AM (7 of 17)
I'm sorry for your loss.
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002
Total posts: 3883
From: Sancin
Date: 12-16-2006, 05:49 PM (8 of 17)
Paula -I am so sorry to hear about the situations in your life. You are definitely one of the sandwich generation. When I have run into situations similar to this, fortunately not often, I make myself little notes and place where I will see them often during a day. "one minute at a time" / "This too shall pass." It sounds like your mother could use some reminders as well. My thoughts are with you both.
*~*~*~* Nancy*~*~*~* " I try to take one day at a time - but sometimes several days attack me at once."
User: Sancin
Member since: 02-13-2005
Total posts: 895
From: esrun3
Date: 12-16-2006, 09:07 PM (9 of 17)
Paula, so sorry to hear about your dad and your situation. Please take care of yourself! Hugs and prayers headed your way.
User: esrun3
Member since: 12-02-2004
Total posts: 2345
From: Sewhappie
Date: 12-17-2006, 12:12 AM (10 of 17)
Paula, I am keeping you in my prayers also. Having just gone thru a major ordeal with my sister I know how much it can turn your world upside down.
Take care of yourself and remember that we are here for you anytime of the day.
User: Sewhappie
Member since: 10-27-2001
Total posts: 1427
From: NDNQuilter
Date: 12-17-2006, 09:09 PM (11 of 17)
Your in our thoughts and prayers. Gena
User: NDNQuilter
Member since: 10-04-2002
Total posts: 90
From: MaryW
Date: 12-18-2006, 12:20 PM (12 of 17)
Paula, rest. You need time to reflect and calm down. You have been thru a horrible ideal and I commend you on your very positive attitude. :coffee2: Big ((((((Paula)))))hugs to you from all of us.
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 12-18-2006, 06:32 PM (13 of 17)
Paula, So sorry to hear about your DAD... May this Christmas Season help you to find peace, and the joy of the season.. Hugs to you, and take care of yourself..
Sew With Love
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002
Total posts: 2022
From: plrlegal
Date: 12-19-2006, 12:45 AM (14 of 17)
I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad. To lose a loved one is hard anytime but especially hard this time of year. Take care of yourself and take the time to rest and find the peace you so deserve. Prays and hugs from me to you.

User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001
Total posts: 318
From: ninifav
Date: 12-19-2006, 09:29 PM (15 of 17)
Well, my goodness, but aren't you all the sweetest!! I definitely appreciate all the hugs and prayers..Must have worked because I feel at peace and will just take the situation a day at a time without animosity towards those who just can't help but be difficult...One would think that after raising five kids that I could ignore a lot of cr**p by now...

Will try to put up the small tree and some fun Christmas decorations...Get to cook dinner in my new kitchen (should be fun!) and DH has really been a dear...Of course, it helped that I sat him down when this all started and had the "I really need you to bevsupportive and my home a safe haven" talk...Don't you just love the look in their eyes when you say, "Sweetie, we need to have a talk." It's called "deer in the headlights!!! Otherwise, he would have been clueless and I would have been resentful that he didn't know what I was going through...I'm really proud that, for a change, I didn't assume that he could read my mind..

Once again, thanks to you all who sent condolences...the people on the site are the best (says something about our moderator/owner, huh!!)

User: ninifav
Member since: 09-06-2004
Total posts: 204
From: swartzrn
Date: 12-19-2006, 10:56 PM (16 of 17)
Paula--sending you lots of hugs from GA. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. You've just had a full plate lately and I certainly hope things settle down for you soon. Take care of YOU and get some rest!! :)
"To see the future, look into a child's eyes."
User: swartzrn
Member since: 02-17-2006
Total posts: 436
From: bridesmom
Date: 12-21-2006, 01:28 AM (17 of 17)
Paula, its tough to lose a loved one, especially around a holiday, makes it a little tough to get through for the next few years. ( I lost my mom at Christmas). Lots of hugs and prayers coming your way.
Tickled pink with my Innovis 4000D
User: bridesmom
Member since: 01-21-2004
Total posts: 2026
Sew, What's Up
Search the “Sew What’s New” Archive:
Visit Sew What’s Up for the latest sewing and quilting tips and discussions.
This page was originally located on Sew What’s New ( at