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From: mumof9
Date: 06-04-2007, 09:42 PM (1 of 18)
I dont know how I get myself into these situations........ actually yes I do, I JUST CANT SAY NO!!!!  My girlfriend came to me and asked me to make a dress for her daughters school formal. I said yes I would but it would have to be done asap as I have a major workload apart from studying coming up.  We went through and picked out a formal pattern, simple yet stylish, not a problem.  The only thing I asked my friend was do not buy chiffon or gorgette as I am not experienced in sewing with them. Guess what she came back with............ chiffon!!!!  (will put in another post for advice on sewing with this fabric) Almost had a melt down, when I said to her that I asked her not to buy that particular fabric, she had the gall to ask why I was feeling so stressed!!! Only because I have 9 children, studying law part time, am an event planner (part time) qualified cake decorator and have 3 children that are undergoing medical treatment for different conditions. Weddings in July, August, September, wedding cake for September, Anniversary cake for Sept for church, exams in November, oh and I think the children would like it if I remembered their birthdays.........WHICH PART DO YOU NOT GET!!!!  Sorry just needed to get that off my chest. Will open a bottle of chardonnay tonight and all will be right with the world by tomorrow. 
Cheryl, mum to Kathryn, Adrian, Nicole, Matthew, Vanessa, Rebecca, Cassandra, James and Monique. Phew, I really need
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User: mumof9
Member since: 05-20-2007 Total posts: 16 |
From: AndreaSews
Date: 06-04-2007, 10:36 PM (2 of 18)
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Ugh what a lousy feeling. I'm sorry that happened. But you _did_ give her your parameters beforehand, so you are not to blame and owe her no guilt whatsoever for whatever may come of this. Depending on what would stress you out more (taking the challenge b/c we all know how you've been dying to learn the new techniques during your ample free time, vs. laying it out more plainly for your friend with the usual associated risks and benefits) you _could_ tell her that if she and her daughter are committed to this fabric, then they simply must go find and pay some other person to make the dress. Perhaps offering to come with them shopping for an alternative fabric and providing them guidance about a more flattering (etc) choice would soften the blow. If she hasn't cut the fabric or laundered it, then she may still be able to return it.
Andrea
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User: AndreaSews
Member since: 02-18-2005 Total posts: 1007 
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From: lendube
Date: 06-04-2007, 10:41 PM (3 of 18)
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Oh, I sure do feel for you. What a sad situation. It's not too late to stand up for yourself though. I would tell them that I'm not going to be able to do as good a job as they'd like. They can return the fabric. (Here, at JoAnn's at least) I know a cut piece of fabric can be returned if it hasn't been cut, washed or changed in any way. I hate to mention this but I was recently asked by a client/friend if I'd make a formal gown for her daughter for her senior prom ~~~~ for June of 2008!!!! Is that nice or what? Talk about plenty of notice! Sorry to rub that in......... Good luck, keep us posted. Lennie |
User: lendube
Member since: 08-06-2006 Total posts: 1548 |
From: Skye
Date: 06-04-2007, 11:16 PM (4 of 18)
I bet she didn't offer to do your vacuuming, cook dinner, child minding, taxi service etc for you while you are sewing either A walking foot might be useful when sewing chiffon, I not sewn it much it fact when my DD want multilayered chiffon creation I paid a dressmaker to sew it - that really kept my stress levels managable so I can relate to you. Gosh I am tired just thinking about you household schedule |
User: Skye
Member since: 09-28-2000 Total posts: 233 |
From: MotherInLaw
Date: 06-05-2007, 02:11 AM (5 of 18)
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Hey Skye, How have you been? Haven't seen you on lately. Mumof9, I don't know how you do it all. I was huffing and puffing just reading all your chores in a days time. Here is what Sandra Betzina says to do with Chiffon when working with Chiffon in her book "More Fabric Savvy" Needle 60/8 HJ or HM new needle only (new needle only) Stitch lenght 2.0 mm Pressor foot Straight stich presser foot with single hole throat plate and switch needle to far left postion for support of three sides. Seam Finish Narrow French seam, On long vertical seams sew with a tiny zigzag (0.5 mm width 2.5mm length) DO NOT use single hole presser foot with the zigzag stitch. Closures Machine buttonholes with fine machine embroidery thread or fabric loops. With zipper, interface seam allowances with organaza and hand pick. You can find more fabrics like this in her books and they are so useful. I refer to mine all the time. Especially when I'm not sure what needle to us and stitch when using a new fabric for the first time. I'm regressing back into my youth, I just have to figure out how I'm going to convience my body to come along with me.
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User: MotherInLaw
Member since: 06-25-2005 Total posts: 1118 
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From: ddreev
Date: 06-05-2007, 08:49 AM (6 of 18)
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My hat is off to you! I don't think I could maintain your schedule.... People who don't sew never realize the amount of steps it takes to produce a finished product. They think you just magically take a scissors to it and then whip it up on the machine! I have never worked with chiffon but be sure and check your machine before moving your needle to the far left with a single hole throat plate. My machine will only allow the needle in the central position with the single hole throat plate. I have recently had two young relatives bring me sheets etc. they wanted turned into window treatments. They didn't understand that you had to work within the constraints of the boldly printed pattern and that without lining it would not hang correcly. I wish you the best of luck with this project! Dorothy D.
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User: ddreev
Member since: 05-29-2007 Total posts: 69 |
From: Patty22
Date: 06-05-2007, 09:15 AM (7 of 18)
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There is a way of maintaining sanity... First of all, ditch the "friend" ... sorry, but she is either clueless as to the demands on your life at this point or is so self centered she really doesn't care. Next of all, don't look at the big picture - that is enough to send the calmest of souls into a panic attack. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. Do what you can for each day and allocating a little time for catching up. My daughter's gym had a sports psychologist talk to the kids about how to work out on a balance beam (which is the best analogy to how a mother such as yourself lives).... and he said to take all your problems and place them in a box before you got up on the beam. They weren't going to go away, but you could deal with them another time. Simply one is to focus on the tasks at hand and nothing else for the short time period. Stressing out only drains you of precious energy that you need for living......and forgetting your kids birthdays will only add guilt to the weight on your shoulders. Oh, and Super Woman/ Super Mom doesn't have any perks but is an illusive imaginery idol. If any of my suggestions fail.....there is always  and laughter to soothe the soul....BUT, definitely ditch the "friend"! Patty
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User: Patty22
Member since: 03-29-2006 Total posts: 1194 |
From: MaryW
Date: 06-05-2007, 09:28 AM (8 of 18)
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I had the hardest time saying no to people. Be it sewing, babysitting, whatever. My hubby would get so mad. Lately, I am getting better but it is difficult to start. I agree, many people are so self-centered they don't know nor do they care. Others just think "oh, she's nice and always helps me out." It takes a bit of thought and determination to say no. MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 06-05-2007, 09:39 AM (9 of 18)
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OK, now I don't want to offend anyone but did anyone else see the humor in mumof9 saying I JUST CANT SAY NO!!!! or are the rest of you just to nice to mention it. I know your schedule is tight but you might want to take a few minutes a day to practice. You know how some people learn a new word every day and try to use it in conversation during the day. Could I suggest.............. Good luck with the dress. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: MaryW
Date: 06-05-2007, 10:33 AM (10 of 18)
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Dorothy, tsk, tsk. I think I hear your boss yelling your name.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: MotherInLaw
Date: 06-05-2007, 11:41 PM (11 of 18)
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Dorothy you think like a man. Hehehehehehehe. That didn't cross my mine. That NEVER Crosses my mind any more.
I'm regressing back into my youth, I just have to figure out how I'm going to convience my body to come along with me.
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User: MotherInLaw
Member since: 06-25-2005 Total posts: 1118
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From: mumof9
Date: 06-06-2007, 07:49 AM (12 of 18)
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Once again a BIG thank you to all the ladies, In particular AndreaSews for her wonderful advice, agian...... (how do you ever get any sewing done answering all these posts??) To DorothyL and MotherInLaw, as previously posted, can I adopt you please........... your sense of humour is fantastic and very much appreciated. To Patty22, the thought of was much appreciated, however the Chardonnay went down much better.  Havnt yet started cutting, as the 2 babies and I have all come down with rotten chest infections due to Melbourne's 3 seasons in a day!! 
Cheryl, mum to Kathryn, Adrian, Nicole, Matthew, Vanessa, Rebecca, Cassandra, James and Monique. Phew, I really need
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User: mumof9
Member since: 05-20-2007 Total posts: 16 |
From: Bama
Date: 06-06-2007, 11:40 AM (13 of 18)
Wow, I don't know how you get any sewing done with 9 children around. I have a hard time keeping up with just 2 teenagers.  Good luck with the dress. I used to have a hard time saying no when some one asked me to sew something for them. The older I get, the easier it is for me to say no. |
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000 Total posts: 2116 
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From: jessie s
Date: 06-06-2007, 06:38 PM (14 of 18)
| They are right, the older you get the easier it is to say no. I used to have a problem saying no but on my 40th birthday I suddenly said enough is enough. Now if I agree to do something it is because I want to. The more often you say no the easier it is. And don't give excuses just say Sorry but can't do it. No one gets mad, just surprised. jessie s |
User: jessie s
Member since: 02-26-2007 Total posts: 46 |
From: DorothyL
Date: 06-06-2007, 09:03 PM (15 of 18)
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Why don't you practice saying no by picturing one of your kids' faces on the person you want to say no to. That always works for me. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: Patty22
Date: 06-07-2007, 11:04 AM (16 of 18)
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Cheryl said, "Chardonnay went down much better." Cheryl, I would basically have to bathe in the stuff as well as drink it ...  Preferrably drinking first before jumping in  You sound better, so I'm glad the Chardonnay worked. Patty
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User: Patty22
Member since: 03-29-2006 Total posts: 1194 |
From: DorothyL
Date: 06-07-2007, 11:38 AM (17 of 18)
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Cheryl, I would basically have to bathe in the stuff as well as drink it ... Preferrably drinking first before jumping in Is that what you do with coffee? Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: material_pakrat
Date: 06-07-2007, 06:30 PM (18 of 18)
I treid saying no to a couple of freinds, but they couldn't work out what I was saying. So I changed tact. I told them that I couldn't possibly take on any more sewing work unless it was paid work, as my business was going broke very quickly. Both of them suddenly thought that their mother would be able to sew the items for them.  I wonder why??????It seems the people I have the most problems with are those who had mothers that sewed for them. But I guess one of them annoys me the most, ans she owns a sewing machine, and refuses to learn to sew clothing. She thinks she cant read a pattern. But now I have convinced her to try, by refusing to sew pj's for her kids. I gave her my easy pattern, and spent half the day on the phone to her, and she finally made a pair. Now she is at least trying to learn about reading a pattern. But I am also wondering if it is just so she can borrow my Redondo skirt pattern for her daughter?? What ever works I guess. 
Cheers, Soph.
I'm happiest when I am sewing! |
User: material_pakrat
Member since: 12-13-2006 Total posts: 220 |
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