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This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: MaryW
Date: 06-26-2007, 09:21 AM (1 of 15)
This is how I feel. My grandson Jordan has decided to move home with his mom and brother. He has matured quite a bit in the 5 yrs. we have had him. He will be much closer to the high school he will be attending.

I hate to see him go and I will miss him like crazy. But, it is maybe time he went with his mom. It's not like I can't talk to him or see him whenever I want. Only about ten miles from us. They are in the middle of moving all his stuff now. Happy but sad. :smile: :cry:
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
From: jwright
Date: 06-26-2007, 11:45 AM (2 of 15)
awe... it seems so bitter sweet.

I'm sure everything will work out for the best.
User: jwright
Member since: 12-28-2006
Total posts: 96
From: Bama
Date: 06-26-2007, 12:19 PM (3 of 15)
I thought of my niece when I read your post. You might remember me telling you about her. She lived with my parents full time from the time she was 5 or 6. She just turned 20 and moved out on her own. She thinks of my mother as her mother. Her mother (my sister) is regretting all of this so much now. Your situation is different, but still you were raising a grandchild like my parents were. I wish my sister could have taken her back at some point and maybe my niece would have a better relationship with her now.
I'm sure you've done a great job with Jordan. :up: Best wishes to all of you. I'm sure he'll miss you as much as you miss him.
User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000
Total posts: 2116
From: Magot
Date: 06-26-2007, 02:58 PM (4 of 15)
Ah Mary, now I know that one - I remember when my foster son moved out -it was right for him and I felt bad and good all at the same time. He still comes to stay with us though from time to time.

This summer will be so quiet without Jordan! At least you have the dogs for company.
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: lendube
Date: 06-26-2007, 05:07 PM (5 of 15)
That's life, isn't it? How lucky Jordan was to have had you "mothering" him for 5 years. You two will always be special to each other for that reason.

It's just an empty nest all over again.

Chin up, Lennie :up:
User: lendube
Member since: 08-06-2006
Total posts: 1548
From: plrlegal
Date: 06-26-2007, 09:55 PM (6 of 15)
Mary I know that you will miss Jordan but I also know that Jordan will be taking with him a lot of valuable life lessons that you and your husband have given him the last 5 years and Jordan will look back on these past 5 years as the most valuable time in his life when he is a little older.

User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001
Total posts: 318
From: MotherInLaw
Date: 06-26-2007, 10:42 PM (7 of 15)
Mary I know the feelings you are going through. My Grandson was raised like he was my son from the time he was 3 weeks old until he was in the 5th grade then they moved away and it almost drove me to a nervous breakdown. Because I took her to court for drugs and the judge let him move with her. She later got off the drugs but I think the things that he learned from being with me has kept him from doing bad things himself. He is now almost 17 and he still thinks highly of me and my husband. We since have moved closer to where he is. My sewing is the only thing that kept me going through those lonely times when he first left. If you need to talk I'm here. :up: It gets better.
I'm regressing back into my youth, I just have to figure out how I'm going to convience my body to come along with me.
User: MotherInLaw
Member since: 06-25-2005
Total posts: 1118
From: DorothyL
Date: 06-27-2007, 12:13 AM (8 of 15)
Uh, excuse me, but I kinda like this empty nest thing.
We got a good dog and it ain't too bad.
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002
Total posts: 3883
From: PaulineG
Date: 06-27-2007, 03:39 AM (9 of 15)
It's hard to let go I guess. Not just the fact that he won't be in your house but all the intangibles that being his mum meant.

I'm sure it's a good thing for him and it will be for you too. You will now be freed of a lot of the more onerous aspects of the relationship and be free to enjoy his company without the same responsibilities. All this based on a relationship that wouldn't have been as strong without your shared history.

Maybe now would be a good time to take advantage of the new freedom you have and take a trip somewhere. Or throw a wild adult party. :cool: :bg:

Give yourself a huge pat on the back for what you've done to get him to where he is now. The added maturity doesn't just come automatically with age - you've obviously provided the right environment for him to be able to grow.

Hope you feel better soon.
User: PaulineG
Member since: 09-08-2006
Total posts: 901
From: lendube
Date: 06-27-2007, 08:50 PM (10 of 15)
I'm with you, Dorothy, and my kids weren't half bad!

User: lendube
Member since: 08-06-2006
Total posts: 1548
From: esrun3
Date: 06-27-2007, 09:15 PM (11 of 15)
Mary, it's so hard to "lose our children". But...this is a good sign for him that he has matured enough to be able to move home w/mom and brother. Thankfully he's only a few miles away.

It will take a little time to adjust but, gotta tell you, I'm glad my kids are gone...they seem to be here all the time which is wonderful but if I want to come home after work and go to bed, I can or I can sew all night and not worry about waking someone up, etc. I love having them all close enough to drop in any time but it's also nice to have the house to myself most of the time.

Hang in there, I hope this move goes well for your grandson!
User: esrun3
Member since: 12-02-2004
Total posts: 2345
From: blackie
Date: 06-28-2007, 01:17 AM (12 of 15)
My children are five and three and I can't even imagine not being around them 24/7. I love it and can't get enough. (That said, when I take a break I realize I should do it more often!).

So I understand the "feeling bad" part. However you have surely provided so much wonderful nurture and care; you will always be with one another and he will likely always hold you dear for caring enough to parent him.

Here's to bittersweet milestones!
see the mundane life of a housewife.
User: blackie
Member since: 03-31-2004
Total posts: 594
From: toadusew
Date: 06-29-2007, 08:30 AM (13 of 15)
Mary, I understand that this is a bittersweet time for you. At least your grandson is close enough that you can see him and talk to him whenever you want to, but it won't be the same as having him in the same house. Maybe you can use this transition time to do more sewing and other activities that you enjoy now that you may have a little more time to do so.

Like Dorothy and Esrun, I kind of like having the "empty nest", although mine certainly doesn't really feel "empty" most of the time. Both of my daughters live in other states and they both call several times per week. I love talking to my grandbabies on the phone, but I wish we lived closer so we could see each other more often.
User: toadusew
Member since: 01-08-2005
Total posts: 369
From: DorothyL
Date: 06-29-2007, 09:09 AM (14 of 15)
We've got a loaner kid that, although he is 17 and six feet tall now, still visits often.
He was my husband's "little brother" through the Big Brothers program and has spent a lot of time with us for about 10 years. He goes on vacations and big family events so the entire extended family sees him as our boy. He is the best kid in the world except, like my daughters did, he is growing up. I've spoken to him about this growing up thing but he just looks down at me and shrugs.
Dogs, on the other hand, are great. Our Jack Russell will never really grow up.
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002
Total posts: 3883
From: MaryW
Date: 06-29-2007, 10:34 AM (15 of 15)
He came galloping thru the front door this morning with his report card. Grinning from ear to ear, it was good to see him. This is our second or third time at empty nesting so I am not new at it.
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
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