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From: Sewing Oodles
Date: 04-24-2003, 06:20 AM (1 of 15)
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For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas: Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding): 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.. ft. house 4 inches deep 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old. 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.Plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. Hugz,
Cindy~Texas |
User: Sewing Oodles
Member since: 07-29-2002 Total posts: 69 
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From: Marion B
Date: 04-24-2003, 12:06 PM (2 of 15)
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Cindy; This is just too funny for words!  Having raised eight kids (six of them boys) i can really relate. Marion
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User: Marion B
Member since: 08-15-2000 Total posts: 39 |
From: MaryW
Date: 04-24-2003, 12:29 PM (3 of 15)
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Eight kids, holy cats! I thought 3 were a handfull when they were small. MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: sewingrandma
Date: 04-24-2003, 02:30 PM (4 of 15)
One of my 3 flushed her training pants down the toilet. That was years ago when they were the real thick cloth type. We had no idea that is what happened. All of a sudden the toilet wouldn't flush right. I'll never forget the look of the plummer when he came out of the bathroom with the pants on his snake and asked me if I wanted them back.
Brockie
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User: sewingrandma
Member since: 03-06-2003 Total posts: 432 |
From: plrlegal
Date: 04-24-2003, 11:59 PM (5 of 15)
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To this day I am still very amazed that my mother (now 86) raised 14 kids (9 girls and 5 boys -- all born in 20 years) without abusing at least a couple of us. Patsy Patsy
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User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001 Total posts: 318 |
From: Mother in Law
Date: 04-25-2003, 12:17 AM (6 of 15)
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I guess that's why you had to learn how to sew Patsy. LOL I bet Christmas was really warm at your house. I wish I could have had more kids Did you come from a Catholic family? LOL Susie 
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User: Mother in Law
Member since: Total posts: |
From: Aimee S
Date: 04-25-2003, 01:25 AM (7 of 15)
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I have four boys and I think they have tried at least half all of the fans. My 4 year old found out that even though he looked like Superman jumping off the top bunk and belly flooping on the floor he can break his sternum. two days later he tried it agin this time with pillow and blankets on the ground. Dad caught him in thin air. My boys have also found that the dish on the roof makes a great ball return. The longer the dinner takes to cook it the more the boys wont like it. Corn dogs are breakfast lunch and dinner food. Chicken nuggets are breakfast and snacks. and my favorite from my Grandmother It is amazing that one mom can take care of 18, Yes she had 18, kids but 18 kids cant take care of one mom. The more you disaprove, the more fun I am having!
http://photos.yahoo.com/aimeehs29 |
User: Aimee S
Member since: 02-23-2003 Total posts: 488 
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From: MaryW
Date: 04-25-2003, 06:52 AM (8 of 15)
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18 kids, unbelieveable. I couldn't imagine it, but my Mom had 8 that survived to adulthood. As Patsy stated, I am so amazed she didn't abuse a couple of us. LOL. I know my Dad was real close a couple of times. MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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From: Marion B
Date: 04-25-2003, 11:45 AM (9 of 15)
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As they say, God works in mysterious ways. LOL Who knows how many angels had to work overtime.
Marion
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User: Marion B
Member since: 08-15-2000 Total posts: 39 |
From: plrlegal
Date: 04-25-2003, 12:29 PM (10 of 15)
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In most large families, the older ones learn early on how to take care of the youngers ones. Actually, if you're one of the older siblings, it just seems a natural thing to take care of the younger ones. By the time I was 18, I knew how to take care of a new born as well as my mother could. Geez, maybe that's why I never wanted any of my own??? Besides, in a larger family, there are always kids to borrow when you occasionally get the urge to be a mother. Mary I'm sure that my mother considered abusing a few of us every now and them. I'm sure she could have always claimed insanity as a good defense. Patsy Patsy
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User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001 Total posts: 318 |
From: Bama
Date: 04-25-2003, 07:36 PM (11 of 15)
I cannot imagine having that many kids. Two has been a handful for me. Actually my firstborn was a dozen handfuls all by himself. He's finally getting better now that he's 14!Did I mention I'm having a tubal ligation this summer? #18 reminded me of my son.... When he was about 4 years old, I noticed a funny smell in his room. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from and it kept getting worse and worse. I finally cleaned out his closet and inside a backpack I found Easter eggs. He said he was saving them. It was around June! 
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User: Bama
Member since: 03-21-2000 Total posts: 2116 
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From: bren
Date: 04-25-2003, 09:44 PM (12 of 15)
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Mom had 10 of us little darlings, She raised us mostly by herself, I know what you mean plrlegal , when I was twelve Mom was at it again, she had 3 more boy's. No wonder i got married 18, LOL, we were running out of room, We were mom's built in babysitters, 15 years between me and my youngest brother, I had to look after them but when i get really old its there turn to look after me, lol they were cute kids thow, if you sassed my mom , god help you , she would slap you silly, thats what happen to me to many slaps, I love comming from a large family thow, My mom did her best ,and kept a spotless home, we didn't have much but we knew mom loved us , Moms favorite saying, was if your going to do a job do it right, or don't do it at all.  , Mary my mom is from Novia Scotia. 
Bren:
Don't let anyone ...Live Rent Free In Your Head |
User: bren
Member since: 11-30-2002 Total posts: 489 
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From: MissMinx
Date: 04-26-2003, 09:48 PM (13 of 15)
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I take off my hat to you, ladies ‘of many kids’! I’ve experienced lot’s of the stuff with just one daughter, but she turned into a hellcat on wheels after being an angel for 12 years! I always wanted a large family with lots of children, but the first birth was so terrible, it put me off it forever. But I feel sad that my daughter can not have any children and I would never be a grandmother when I grow up! Unless she adopts one day... |
User: MissMinx
Member since: 02-14-2003 Total posts: 140 |
From: Shellymoon
Date: 04-26-2003, 10:18 PM (14 of 15)
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My husband and I both came from families with five kids each. I'm the oldest of five. He's the youngest of 5. We can tell you stories that will make your hair curl. (His older siblings can tell great stories about him!) God played a joke on us and made us the parents of only one child, who seems to be enough most days. The strangest thing a plumber ever fished out of our toilet was a sock. Thankfully, she was still small and therefore, the sock itself was rather small. I wrote about a woman here who has eight children and one grandchild. Kids range from 21 to 6 months. She's a talk show host on one of those religious networks. She seemed thrilled with all her little blessings. Shelly Moon
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User: Shellymoon
Member since: 05-27-2001 Total posts: 240 |
From: DorothyL
Date: 04-27-2003, 09:36 AM (15 of 15)
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Shelly -- When my oldest was about three or four I caught her in the bathroom with a whole pile of socks dropping them in the tolet. I asked her what the heck was she thinking and she said "It's what Justea does." I told Justea's mother (my best friend) and she laughed. "I wondered what happened to all her socks." I guess their tolet managed to get them all down. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
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