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The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Betina
Date: 05-06-2003, 08:31 PM (1 of 13)
How to keep a healthy level of insanity...

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom at work. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard
Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd
time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
"run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent
it to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this.
User: Betina
Member since: 04-21-2003
Total posts: 31
From: MissMinx
Date: 05-07-2003, 06:21 AM (2 of 13)
Hey, Betina, this is brilliant! You don’t work for the government, by any chance? :nervous:
I would love to do all that at my (private) company, but if I did, I would not be staying around for too long… :bg: :whacky: :bluesad:
User: MissMinx
Member since: 02-14-2003
Total posts: 140
From: Betina
Date: 05-07-2003, 07:03 AM (3 of 13)
Hi MissMinx... no I dont work for the government..they dont pay enough :shock: :shock:
User: Betina
Member since: 04-21-2003
Total posts: 31
From: MissMinx
Date: 05-07-2003, 08:14 AM (4 of 13)
WHAT??? Same as here, in Australia? :shock:
User: MissMinx
Member since: 02-14-2003
Total posts: 140
From: MaryW
Date: 05-07-2003, 09:29 AM (5 of 13)
Betina, thanks for these. They are great!:bluesmile :bluesmile
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
From: Betina
Date: 05-07-2003, 05:58 PM (6 of 13)
Yep MissMinx..I am afraid so.. it must be the one of the oaths required if you are a public servant.. just like the nuns.. the oath of poverty.. :bluesmile but I work in the travel industry so i got lucky.. am tooooo spoiled to take an oath like that!!!

Welcome Mary.. :bluesmile
User: Betina
Member since: 04-21-2003
Total posts: 31
From: MissMinx
Date: 05-12-2003, 07:08 AM (7 of 13)
Yeh, me too, I will never get a job with the government - they can't afford me! :bluewink:
User: MissMinx
Member since: 02-14-2003
Total posts: 140
From: Yannick
Date: 05-12-2003, 07:48 AM (8 of 13)
They don't pay much that is true...but at least they won't try to fire you because you're preggo!!!! :whacky:

I really like the sing along at the opera!


Yannick
Yannick
User: Yannick
Member since: 10-30-2002
Total posts: 49
From: MissMinx
Date: 05-13-2003, 05:28 AM (9 of 13)
I think I would really love to have THAT problem again...!!!! :bg:
User: MissMinx
Member since: 02-14-2003
Total posts: 140
From: Magot
Date: 05-17-2003, 02:50 PM (10 of 13)
I really DID have a friend who used to cross his cheques " for sexual favours". He also used to write the amount and end it " and not a penny more" He was our best man. He also wore a superman costume under his PJ's on his wedding night - you just have to love him!
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: MissMinx
Date: 05-20-2003, 07:54 AM (11 of 13)
My dear Magot!

You are as crazy as your friends and I love it!.. (me too...) :whacky:
User: MissMinx
Member since: 02-14-2003
Total posts: 140
From: Magot
Date: 05-20-2003, 11:01 AM (12 of 13)
It was when he hid in the bathroom to get changed that she got suspicious. Came out with PJ's buttoned to the neck and said
"there's something about me that I havn't told you.." before ripping over his shirt to reveal blue and red S beneath. He hasn't changed, she's still married to him, the woman is a saint!
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: Llantrisant
Date: 06-04-2003, 08:26 AM (13 of 13)
Thanks Betina i needed a good laugh today!roflmao at those lines hehehehe.:bg:
If at first you don't suceed, try-try again!
User: Llantrisant
Member since: 06-02-2002
Total posts: 144
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