Sew What’s Up Presents

The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”

Sew What's New Archive > JOKES AND QUIPS > Diet Rules

From: Scratch 'N Sniff

Date: 08-01-2003, 08:18 PM (1 of 4)

Diet Rules for Cheaters

1.If you eat something and no one sees it, it has no calories.
2.If you eat a candy bar with a diet soda, the soda cancels out the calories in the candy.
3.If you are eating with someone else, the calories don’t count as long as you don’t eat more than they do.
4.Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. Such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee’s cheesecake.
5.If you fatten everyone else around you, you will look thinner. (Easiest one.)
6.Movie related foods (milk duds, buttered popcorn, jr. mints, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package, and not part of one’s personal fuel.
7.Cookie pieces contain no fat, the process of breaking causes fat leakage.
8.The things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife preparing a sandwich, and the ice cream on a spoon preparing a sundae.
9. Foods that are the same color, share the same amount of calories. Example: spinach and pasticcio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.
10.Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Example: ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.

~debie

User: Scratch 'N Sniff
Member since: 01-02-2003
Total posts: 46

From: MaryW

Date: 08-04-2003, 08:06 AM (2 of 4)

Yup, follow them religiously. :bluewink: