Date: 08-17-2003, 09:02 AM (1 of 5)
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you
want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands
it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have
a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Member since: 12-09-2002
Total posts: 3883
Date: 08-18-2003, 12:52 PM (2 of 5)
I'd love to try that, but i'm too chicken
Member since: 10-15-2000
Total posts: 325
Date: 08-18-2003, 02:31 PM (3 of 5)
That is too good! LOLOLOL.
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
Date: 08-18-2003, 04:36 PM (4 of 5)
Member since: 06-18-2003
Total posts: 152
From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 08-18-2003, 07:25 PM (5 of 5)
Reminds me of something my MIL's friend did years ago.. The had emigrated to US and became citizens after they were adults.. So, after years of success they went back to old country for visit.. This lady insisted on taking her Cadillac with them for the trip.. She did not want to rent a car.. Well, one day she was flying thru Athens and got stopped by policeman.. He started ranting and raving with her and just raising Cain with her for speeding.. (in Greek of course).. She looked up at him (very wide eyed) smiled and said "Sorry, I do not speak Greek." The officer threw up his hands in disgust and let her go. She was so proud of herself for not getting a ticket...
Sew With Love
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002
Total posts: 2022
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