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This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: DorothyL
Date: 06-08-2004, 07:53 AM (1 of 3)
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and
> get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the
> reception was excellent.
> 2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says,
> "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you
> sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm
> positive..."
> 3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender
> says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
> 4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a
> salted.
> 5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender
> says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
> 6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
> 7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt
> under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one
> for the road."
> 8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says
> to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
> 9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green
> Grass of Home'" "That sounds like Tom Jones
> Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says "It's Not
> Unusual."
> 10. Two cows standing next to each other in a
> field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially
> inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you,"
> said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed
> Daisy.
> 11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
> The kids were nothing to look at either.
> 12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and
> says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you
> can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's
> have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and
> examines his eyes, then checks his teeth
> Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him
> down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No,
> because he's really heavy."
> 13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the
> other day but I couldn't find any.
> 14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I
> bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat
> off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are
> too high."
> 15 . I went to a seafood disco last week... and
> pulled a mussel.
> 16 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
> 17 . Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is
> the bar tender here?"
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002
Total posts: 3883
From: Magot
Date: 09-05-2004, 03:22 PM (2 of 3)
Much appreciated Dorothy!
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: Chrysantha
Date: 09-09-2004, 08:57 PM (3 of 3)
::groan:: LMAO !!! :bg:
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
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