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This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Magot
Date: 02-07-2005, 12:10 PM (1 of 4)
This was forwarded to me by a friend..

MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

1. "If you are going to kill each other do it outside. *I just finished cleaning."
2. My Mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray*that will come out of the carpet."
3. My Mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the *middle of next week!"
4. My Mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because i said so, thats why."
5. My Mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're ** not going to the store with me."
6. My Mom taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
7. My Mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and i will give you something to cry about."
8. My Mother taught me about the sicence of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My Mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My Mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My Mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks*as if a tornado went through it."
12. My Mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If i have told you once, I've told you a million times, don't *exaggerate!"
13. My Mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and i can take you out."
14. My Mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICIATON
"Stop acting like your father!"
15, My Mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You're going to get it when you get home."
18. My Mom taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to ** freeze that way."
19. My Mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on, don't you think I know when you are cold."
20. My Mother taught me HUMOR.
"When the lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running **to me."
21. My Mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My Mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut the door behind you. *Do you think you were born in a barn."
24. My Mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And My Favorite: - My Mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!"
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: GreenDragonLady
Date: 02-07-2005, 12:40 PM (2 of 4)
I never EVER say the last one, because I don't want my grandkids to act like my kids do!!!

That list is too funny!
photos.yahoo.com/greendragondesigns
User: GreenDragonLady
Member since: 07-29-2004
Total posts: 495
From: MaryW
Date: 02-07-2005, 07:47 PM (3 of 4)
Greendragonlady, I agree. My grandkids are much smarter than their parents and I like them a whole lot better.

My mother repeated so many of those. One more is Do As I Say, Not As I Do.
That one never made sense, even when I was little.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
From: LeapFrog Libby
Date: 02-08-2005, 06:00 PM (4 of 4)
Mary,
I have an opinion about why that one never made sense to you.. Your Mother never did things (at least that you knew about) that you were forbidden to do.. Mine did , and when we would call her on it, she would say "Do as I say, Not as I do." She would eat the whole bowl of boiled peanuts, but if we tried it, we were severely punished.. That is just one example..As she got older she learned not to do things like that..(or hid them better) LOL
Sew With Love
Libby
User: LeapFrog Libby
Member since: 05-01-2002
Total posts: 2022
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