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From: Sancin
Date: 02-14-2005, 02:15 AM (1 of 9)
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When I was a child in the 1950s the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job. Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip. The mature woman has a choice -- she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's Fantasia. Or she can wander around every run of the mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of florescent rubber bands. What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks as any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror my bosom had disappeared! Eventually, I found one bosom cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.. The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her bosom spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment. The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap. As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, "Oh, there you are!" she said, admiring the bathing suit. I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring. I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day. I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them. Finally, I found a suit that fit . . . a two-piece affair with shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured. When I got home, I found a label, which read -- "Material might become transparent in water." *~*~*~* Nancy*~*~*~* " I try to take one day at a time - but sometimes several days attack me at once."
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User: Sancin
Member since: 02-13-2005 Total posts: 895 
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From: suzquilts46
Date: 02-19-2005, 11:13 PM (2 of 9)
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Sancin I think I bought that same suit. At least when I got out of the water, it was sheer in the behind!!!! 
Susan Life is a journey......................not a destination.
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User: suzquilts46
Member since: 12-07-2004 Total posts: 23 |
From: Janice
Date: 02-23-2005, 05:55 PM (3 of 9)
In 1951 went to the beach with my 8th grade class. I had a new bathing suit which was white with a pretty red flower design on the front. After I got out of the water the first time one of the girls said the back of my suit was transparent. I spent the rest of the day with a towel or shirt wrapped around me. After that I always wore a pair of cotton underpants under the suit. Thankfully the front had been lined. Embarrassing for a 13 year old. 
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User: Janice
Member since: 07-30-2000 Total posts: 10 |
From: Jessica3
Date: 04-29-2005, 06:42 PM (4 of 9)
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Oh I got one worst than that. I was at Church Camp.. we all decided to go swimming.. I had this really pretty White bathing suit. yep! Did not know that it becomes see through in water. So there I am in the swimming pool with the hole camp there (50 people at lease) and my friend said OMG your bathing suite is see through. I jumped out of the water and headed back to the cabin.. I was so emmbarrised!!
Jessica
**************** Janome 8080 Janome 634D Brothers SE-270D |
User: Jessica3
Member since: 04-23-2005 Total posts: 15 
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From: Domestic Goddes
Date: 05-03-2005, 05:35 AM (5 of 9)
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In 1972 my Grandma knitted me a beautiful swimsuit with blue and white stripes. It had a pretty frilly trim around the neck and legs (please bear in mind I was 4 years old!). Whenever certain words associated with the sea are mentioned: sea, beach, swimming costume, bathers etc., Grandma reminds me of how I came out of the sea and ran up the beach and out of the swimsuit, leaving it behind in a heavy, soggy pile. I am so glad that digital video cameras were not invented then! |
User: Domestic Goddes
Member since: 01-04-2005 Total posts: 108 |
From: ms123
Date: 05-03-2005, 10:36 AM (6 of 9)
| Thank you, Sancin, I haven't laughed that hard in years! |
User: ms123
Member since: 04-30-2003 Total posts: 7 |
From: ninifav
Date: 05-05-2005, 12:31 AM (7 of 9)
| I just don't understand why mirrors in dressing rooms haven't kept up with technology....That pudgy, lumpy, dumpy thing looking back at me MUST be an image from the dressing room next to mine!!! |
User: ninifav
Member since: 09-06-2004 Total posts: 204 |
From: blanken6
Date: 05-05-2005, 02:30 AM (8 of 9)
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Here is a tip: Never take your children with you while buying a swim suit. No one can handle that much honesty! "Mom, why are your buns coming out of the suit?" "Mom, why are the boobs on the suit so much bigger than yours?" "Mom, could you please wear one with a middle, those lines scare me?" and my personal favorite: "Hey mom, you look just like grandma in her suit!" 
Proverbs 31:10-31
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User: blanken6
Member since: 08-11-2004 Total posts: 41 
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From: mamadus
Date: 05-05-2005, 11:43 PM (9 of 9)
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ninfav, you must be inside my head!!! I couldn't agree more!! MO life is too short, not to explore
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User: mamadus
Member since: 12-31-2004 Total posts: 492 
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