Sew What’s Up Presents
The Sew What’s New Archive
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From: DorothyL
Date: 03-12-2005, 08:43 AM (1 of 7)
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After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last................. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: dmoses
Date: 03-12-2005, 09:37 AM (2 of 7)
 Thanks, Dorothy.
Take care,
Donna |
User: dmoses
Member since: 02-22-2002 Total posts: 964 
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From: Magot
Date: 03-12-2005, 12:31 PM (3 of 7)
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Now those made me giggle!
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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From: Mother in Law
Date: 03-13-2005, 12:25 AM (4 of 7)
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Dorothy I wonder if they are true!!! ROFL Thanks for the chuckle. |
User: Mother in Law
Member since: Total posts: |
From: mamadus
Date: 03-13-2005, 03:54 AM (5 of 7)
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dorothy, I e-mailed these to my dh, who is a general aviation pilot.... pretty cute!! MO life is too short, not to explore
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User: mamadus
Member since: 12-31-2004 Total posts: 492 
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From: Chrysantha
Date: 03-15-2005, 02:29 PM (6 of 7)
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my husbands a plane nut (could be a fancy one if he tried harder...) he'll love these....tee hee....
Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414 
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From: ittycritters
Date: 05-06-2005, 12:26 AM (7 of 7)
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LAUGHED SO HARD I CRIED!!! my mom's a pilot, so funny!!!
Just when I thought it was over....
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User: ittycritters
Member since: 05-03-2005 Total posts: 50 
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