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From: DorothyL
Date: 05-18-2005, 07:02 AM (1 of 8)
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> Subject: Because I'm a man, > > > Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle > > with a wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in. > > AAA is not an option. I will win. > > __________________________________________________ _ > > > > Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will > > pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm > > looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the > > other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all > > these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to > > start." We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of > > Holy Communion. > > __________________________________________________ _ > > > > Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to > > bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and > > moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for > > you this isn't a problem. > > __________________________________________________ _ > > > > Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic > > groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be > > expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I > > know, these are the same thing. And never, under any > > circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which > > "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys > > cumin is a spice and not a bodily function) > > __________________________________________________ _ > > > > Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops > > working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that > > this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person > > gets here and has to put it back together. > > __________________________________________________ _ > > > > Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control > > in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, > > I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was > > able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers > > mainly. > > __________________________________________________ _ > > Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm > > thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars or > > football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so > > don't ask. > > __________________________________________________ _ > > Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have > > your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or > > think about her any more than I have to Whatever you got > > her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't > > forget to pick up something for my mother too. > > __________________________________________________ _ > > Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the > > movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.... > > and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will > > certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to > > others. > > __________________________________________________ _ > > > > Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I > > thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, > > too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, > > looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go > > now? > > __________________________________________________ _ > > Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will > > share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the > > cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll > > do the rest... like looking for my socks, or like wandering > > around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do. > > __________________________________________________ _ > > This has been a public service message for Women to better understand > > the Male. |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: Chrysantha
Date: 05-18-2005, 10:41 AM (2 of 8)
too bad we can all relate to this one..... 
Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414 
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From: BRG
Date: 05-18-2005, 11:33 AM (3 of 8)
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*nodding head* to Chrys's comment ...
- Brenda -
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User: BRG
Member since: 01-12-2005 Total posts: 388 
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From: MaryW
Date: 05-19-2005, 08:53 AM (4 of 8)
And because I am a man I am tired at night. I worked all day. But why are women tired???????  That infuriates me.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: CodyGramma
Date: 05-19-2005, 04:30 PM (5 of 8)
| Me too Mary!! My DH HAS to take a nap every afternoon when he comes home from work, but we are supposed to be like the energizer bunny I guess!! LOL |
User: CodyGramma
Member since: 04-22-2005 Total posts: 133 
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From: natred2
Date: 05-19-2005, 05:13 PM (6 of 8)
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And they call us the weaker sex.. HA!
Don't be so open minded your brains fall out.
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User: natred2
Member since: 04-09-2005 Total posts: 81 
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From: DragonLady
Date: 05-19-2005, 11:10 PM (7 of 8)
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Because I am a man, I can only see 16 colors. And I can name five of them! However Because I am a man, I can detect the slightest hint of green or pink in the fleshtones of the characters on the television. And because I am a man I will spend the entire two hour movie playing with the tint and brightness controls trying to fix it. "No more twist! No more twist!"
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User: DragonLady
Member since: 11-10-2004 Total posts: 152 
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From: MaryW
Date: 05-20-2005, 08:41 AM (8 of 8)
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Because I am a man I will never look at a map, no matter how long we drive around in circles.
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542
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