Sew, What's Up

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The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: DorothyL
Date: 01-10-2006, 06:20 PM (1 of 6)
Some of these reminded me of Jan.


Energizer Bunny arrested... charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is... always b-negative.

Practice safe eating... always use condiments.

A Freudian slip is... when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Shotgun Wedding: A case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory... but it folded.

Marriage is... the mourning after the knot before.

A hangover is... the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are... making headlines.

Sea captains... don't like crew cuts.

A successful diet is... the triumph of mind over platter.

A gossip is... someone with a great sense of rumor.

Without geometry... life is pointless.

When you dream in color... it's a pigment of your imagination.

Reading while sunbathing... makes you well red.

A man's home is his castle... in a manor of speaking.

Dijon Vu... the same mustard as before.

When two egotists meet... it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on it's own... because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)

A backwards poet... writes inverse.

In democracy your vote counts... In feudalism, your count votes.

A chicken crossing the road is... poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist... you get repossessed.

With her marriage... she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft... and I'll show you a flat

When a clock is hungry... it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is... fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if... you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

Every calendar's days... are numbered.

A boiled egg in the morning is... hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory... that was never developed.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was... a small medium

Once you've seen one shopping center... you've seen a mall.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair... she thought

Bakers trade bread recipes on... a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are... subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is... a jab well done.
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002
Total posts: 3883
From: Magot
Date: 01-10-2006, 08:31 PM (2 of 6)
The force is strong with you, my young apprentice.
Corderouy pillows make headlines had me snorting in my cocoa. :bg:
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: DorothyL
Date: 01-11-2006, 07:02 AM (3 of 6)
I thought you might enjoy them.
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002
Total posts: 3883
From: MaryW
Date: 01-11-2006, 10:30 AM (4 of 6)
:re: You all need psychiatrists and a dictionary to spell corduroy for Jan.
owner/editor of Sew Whats New
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005
Total posts: 2542
From: Magot
Date: 01-11-2006, 11:13 AM (5 of 6)
Are you sure that it is not some weird English spelling,Mary? :nah:
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: MotherInLaw
Date: 01-11-2006, 08:28 PM (6 of 6)
Did you snort cocoa all over the place Jan. I would have loved to have seen that one. You go girl!!!!!!
I'm regressing back into my youth, I just have to figure out how I'm going to convience my body to come along with me.
User: MotherInLaw
Member since: 06-25-2005
Total posts: 1118
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