Sew, What's Up

Sew What’s Up Presents

The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Magot
Date: 02-15-2006, 12:20 PM (1 of 6)

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking...and one blonde says to the other, which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon? The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????.”


A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, what's the story? He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor .”

She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”


A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. Impossible, says the doctor. Show me. The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast, and screamed, and then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, you're not really a redhead, are you? “Well, no”, she said, “I'm actually a blonde.”

”I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken. “


A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”

She thought for a time and then asked, Is it on or off?


A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?

HELLLOOOOOOO......, answered the blond. They're watch dogs
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: mozeyrn
Date: 02-15-2006, 12:24 PM (2 of 6)
I guess that's because I'm a brunette. :bg:
- Maureen.
Learning something new with every stitch!!
Kenmore 16231000
User: mozeyrn
Member since: 11-29-2005
Total posts: 349
From: DorothyL
Date: 02-15-2006, 12:51 PM (3 of 6)
That watch dog thing makes sense -- doesn't it???
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002
Total posts: 3883
From: nativetexan
Date: 02-15-2006, 12:59 PM (4 of 6)
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to
take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then
he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling
and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? I
told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I
was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you
doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go
home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the
office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her ..."And
where do you think you're going?" She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work
in the dark!
User: nativetexan
Member since: 11-15-2005
Total posts: 57
From: Magot
Date: 02-15-2006, 03:56 PM (5 of 6)
Nice, Tex,nice.
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: Carol in ME
Date: 02-22-2006, 11:59 AM (6 of 6)
A customer with an excellent sense of humor came up to my register and placed a couple handfulls if merchandise on the belt. It was mainly hair care products for a particular color of hair. She started pulling things out of the pockets of her coat, as well, joking that she had no intention of stealing, and she didn't want to forget anything and be embarrassed at the door on the way out.

Holding up the bottle of "Conditioner for Blonds" I said, "Well, you'd have the perfect excuse."

And my blond story to end all blond stories: I'd heard the old two-liner, why are all blond jokes only two lines long? So brunettes can remember them! And decided to tell a blond friend that as a comeback to her colleagues' blond jokes. And she said...

"Oh, that's good. I'll have to use that." She went to her purse and got a piece of paper and a pen. "But if I don't write it down, I'll never remember it!"
User: Carol in ME
Member since: 01-27-2003
Total posts: 105
Sew, What's Up
Search the “Sew What’s New” Archive:
Visit Sew What’s Up for the latest sewing and quilting tips and discussions.
This page was originally located on Sew What’s New ( at