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From: Magot
Date: 02-16-2006, 08:40 AM (1 of 13)
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Church Bulletin Bloopers Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High". * Don't let worry kill you--let the church help. * Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. * For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. * Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. * Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy! * The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. * This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. * Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. * This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. * The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in. * Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so. love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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From: Magot
Date: 02-16-2006, 08:41 AM (2 of 13)
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The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday. Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. * Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. * The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. * At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. * During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit. * The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience. * The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens. * The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. * The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11. * Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary. * Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child. * Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626
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From: MaryW
Date: 02-16-2006, 08:56 AM (3 of 13)
LOL, I loved the one about the choir. 
MaryW
owner/editor of Sew Whats New |
User: MaryW
Member since: 06-23-2005 Total posts: 2542 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 02-16-2006, 11:12 AM (4 of 13)
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What a great and wonderful preacher's wife you will make. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: mozeyrn
Date: 02-16-2006, 11:40 AM (5 of 13)
I hope the new community you/your dh will be working with have a great sense of humor! My mom & I have gotten into trouble sometimes because we have a very dry/wry sense of humor. Sometimes she and I are the only ones that find something funny and others find it tragic. 
- Maureen.
Learning something new with every stitch!! Kenmore 16231000 |
User: mozeyrn
Member since: 11-29-2005 Total posts: 349 |
From: Magot
Date: 02-16-2006, 12:21 PM (6 of 13)
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bearing in mind that I am the preacher in the family Dorothy...... The last time I preached a couple of weeks ago was on the trinity. I had this great experiment (I always do experiments - lab coats, goggles you know the type of thing)with Ice, water and water vapour - all the same thing but present in three different forms. Great - except when I poured the boiling water into the pyrex dish it shattered with a mighty crack and water flowed across the floor in a great waterfall. People rarely forget my sermons. Can't think why. We are talking on the body of Christ tonight - I'm thinking about taking the digestive tract - what do you think? love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626
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From: DorothyL
Date: 02-16-2006, 01:52 PM (7 of 13)
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Ahhh...But will it hold the wine? Wasn't your guy known to down a few? Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: AndreaSews
Date: 02-16-2006, 07:34 PM (8 of 13)
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I'm going to have to pay more attention to the Jokes and Quips section. I've been missing out on all this laughter therapy.
Andrea
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User: AndreaSews
Member since: 02-18-2005 Total posts: 1007 
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From: bridesmom
Date: 02-17-2006, 05:38 PM (9 of 13)
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You two - Jan and Dorothy, crack me up completely. That's the best laugh I've had in a week or so!!!
Laura
Tickled pink with my Innovis 4000D |
User: bridesmom
Member since: 01-21-2004 Total posts: 2026 |
From: Magot
Date: 03-02-2006, 03:51 PM (10 of 13)
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Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. Don't let worry kill you off......let the Church help. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping. She has requested tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church and so ends a friendship that began in their school days. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626
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From: Magot
Date: 03-02-2006, 03:52 PM (11 of 13)
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What can I say Dorothy, notorious for going to parties and mixing with loose women and tax collectors...
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626
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From: icetbear
Date: 03-02-2006, 05:20 PM (12 of 13)
Magot you just made my day  Hope you're enjoying a great one. Thanks for the anniversary wishes Take good care across the pond.NanaBear off to sew 
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User: icetbear
Member since: 09-04-2004 Total posts: 66 |
From: plrlegal
Date: 03-05-2006, 10:49 PM (13 of 13)
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Here's one for you Jan: Seen on a church marquee -- Sunday's Sermon Topic "What Is Hell"? and right under it -- Come Hear The Choir Practice! Patsy Patsy
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User: plrlegal
Member since: 05-19-2001 Total posts: 318 |
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