Sew, What's Up

Sew What’s Up Presents

The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Butterflyrf71
Date: 06-11-2006, 08:37 AM (1 of 4)
A cruise ship is along it's merry way to the carribean.

On board is a magician for entertaining the passengers in the evening.

The captain of the ship has a pet parrot that he takes everywhere with him. He takes the parrot to the Magicians show, and he sits on the captains shoulder.

Every night the parrot gives away the secrets to the magicians tricks.

"Krock, it's in his sleeve", "Krock, it's in his pocket", Krock, it's in his hat"

One night, the Magician had had enough! He pulls out a pistol and aims at the parrot and pulls the trigger. The parrot ducks, and the bullet hits a propane tank blowing up the entire ship.

There are only two survivors, the Magician, and the parrot.

The parrot looks at the Magician and says "Ok, I give up, where's the ship?"


A man goes to see the doctor after being sick for a very long time. The doctor says I have bad news and worse news.

The man says, ok give me the bad news.

The doctor says, You only have 24 hours to live

The man, astonished, says - What in the world could be worse than that?

The doc says, I forgot to call you yesterday.


"Steve's" Mother-In-Law is visiting his wife, and staying at their house. It's been one week, and she is driving him crazy.

He comes home from work on Friday and finds her passed out on the living room floor. He calls 911 and they rush her to the ER at the closest hospital.

A few hours later the doctor comes out and says to Steve, I have good news and bad news.

Steve decides he wants the bad news first.

The doctor says: Well, your MIL did not die, and it looks like she will live for another 20 or 30 years. She has had a stroke, she can no longer talk, all she can do is make a loud screeching sounds for the next 20+ years. She is also paralized from the arms down, so she casn't feed herself, you'll need to feed her baby food three times a day for the next 20+ years. She is also unable to control her bladder or her bowels, so you'll have to change her diapers several times everyday for the next 20+ years.

Steve says, ok whats the good news?

Doc says, I was just kidding, she did die.
You Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm, and place their trust in you. Isaiah 26:3, AV
User: Butterflyrf71
Member since: 05-02-2006
Total posts: 257
From: mozeyrn
Date: 06-12-2006, 10:24 AM (2 of 4)

I think I've heard it before but I still laugh every time.
- Maureen.
Learning something new with every stitch!!
Kenmore 16231000
User: mozeyrn
Member since: 11-29-2005
Total posts: 349
From: Chrysantha
Date: 06-12-2006, 02:42 PM (3 of 4)
LMAO !!! :bg: :bg: :bg:
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: Tummy
Date: 06-23-2006, 10:59 PM (4 of 4)
rotf is right... too funny
User: Tummy
Member since: 06-03-2006
Total posts: 81
Sew, What's Up
Search the “Sew What’s New” Archive:
Visit Sew What’s Up for the latest sewing and quilting tips and discussions.
This page was originally located on Sew What’s New ( at