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The Sew What’s New Archive
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From: Roy
Date: 06-23-2006, 09:14 PM (1 of 5)
| When the new students arrive on campus they ask 'Where is the Ram?' I tell them the Fordham Ram committed suicide in the 60's when it heard Frank Sinatra singing 'There'll never be another you'. I just get a dumb stare. Guess they never grew up on a farm. |
User: Roy
Member since: 04-28-2006 Total posts: 25 |
From: Chrysantha
Date: 06-23-2006, 10:01 PM (2 of 5)
::thud:: one for the Jan Hall of Fame !!!  
Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 06-23-2006, 10:46 PM (3 of 5)
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Here's another one for Jan A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. After a moment or two,the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away." "What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!" With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After aconsiderable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook hishead and said, "Bark". The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table. As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, "Meow." He then jumped off the table and ran out of theroom. The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600. The dog's owner went postal. "$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!" The vet shook his head sadly and explained. "If you had taken myword for it, it would have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat scan..." |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: Magot
Date: 06-24-2006, 12:38 PM (4 of 5)
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aaah Dorothy, you should be proud! See how well you have come on. The other joke made me fell sheepish. love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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From: Patty22
Date: 06-24-2006, 01:42 PM (5 of 5)
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Man with faulty penile implant gets $400K RAY HENRY Associated Press PROVIDENCE, R.I. - A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection. Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it. But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said. In 2004, a jury awarded him $750,000. A judge called that excessive and reduced it to $400,000. On Friday, the Rhode Island Supreme Court affirmed that award in a ruling that turned on a procedural matter. "I don't know any man who for any amount of money would want to trade and take my client's life," said Jules D'Alessandro, Lennon's attorney. "He's not a whole person." A lawyer representing both Dura-II manufacturer Dacomed Corp. and the company's insurer declined to comment. Dacomed maintained that nothing was wrong with the implant. The implant consists of a series of plastic plates strung together with steel surgical wire, almost like a roll of wrapped coins. Springs press against the plates, creating enough surface tension to simulate an erection, D'Alessandro said. Lennon cannot get the implant removed because of health problems, including open-heart surgery, his lawyer said. Impotence drugs could not help Lennon even if he were able to have the device taken out, because tissue had be to removed for it to be implanted. Dacomed was later acquired by a California company whose sales dropped when Viagra was introduced on the market. The company filed for bankruptcy the following year. Patty
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User: Patty22
Member since: 03-29-2006 Total posts: 1194 |
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