Sew What’s Up Presents
The Sew What’s New Archive
This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and
quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was
retired in August 2007. It is being provided by
“Sew What’s Up,”
which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Butterflyrf71
Date: 06-26-2006, 07:58 PM (1 of 5)
|
A DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN Argument (ar*gyou*ment):n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*head): n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a Police Officer. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q): n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up - but he "made the dinner." Blonde jokes (blond joks):n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope):n. Gotta get married in a church. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer):n. An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet soda (dy*it so*da):n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee):n. The last two minutes of a football game. Exercise (ex*er*siz): v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery list (grow*ser*ee list): n What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hair dresser (hare dres*er): n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician." Hardware store (hard*war stor): n. Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon. Childbirth (child*brth): n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, "focus....breathe...push..." Lipstick (lip*stik): n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...! Park (park): v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide. Patience (pa*shens): n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers." Waterproof mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah): n. Comes off if you cry, shower or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it. Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae): n. A day when you have dreams of a candle light dinner, diamonds and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card. You Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm, and place their trust in you. Isaiah 26:3, AV
|
User: Butterflyrf71
Member since: 05-02-2006 Total posts: 257 
|
From: DorothyL
Date: 06-26-2006, 08:32 PM (2 of 5)
|
How does Childbirth come after Hardware store or Valentine's Day come after Waterproof mascara in the dictionary? Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: Tummy
Date: 06-26-2006, 11:12 PM (3 of 5)
Regardless of the order, that is funny 
|
User: Tummy
Member since: 06-03-2006 Total posts: 81 |
From: Magot
Date: 06-27-2006, 02:19 AM (4 of 5)
|
Alphabeticise - (alfa*bet*isize) to put in the same order as the first letter - oh forget it - who cares? Good laugh Butterfly! love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
|
From: DorothyL
Date: 06-27-2006, 07:12 AM (5 of 5)
|
Yes, they were funny. I just wondered. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
Visit Sew What’s Up for the latest sewing and quilting tips and discussions.
This page was originally located on Sew What’s New (www.sew-whats-new.com) at http://www.sew-whats-new.com/vb/archive/index.php/t-19482.html
Sew What’s Up is hosted by ZenSoft