Sew, What's Up

Sew What’s Up Presents

The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Chrysantha
Date: 08-02-2006, 10:58 PM (1 of 7)

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of
the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: ninifav
Date: 08-02-2006, 11:59 PM (2 of 7)
You are in rare form tonight...
User: ninifav
Member since: 09-06-2004
Total posts: 204
From: Roy
Date: 08-03-2006, 05:34 PM (3 of 7)
Insanity is inherited; we get it from our teenage children.

Do children have as much fun in childhood as adults in adultery?

If you doubt that God has a sense of humor - look in a mirror :-)

Father to young son: Joey, eat your spinach. It will put hair on your chest.
Little Suzie - Daddy, I don't want my spinach.
User: Roy
Member since: 04-28-2006
Total posts: 25
From: Patty22
Date: 08-03-2006, 06:57 PM (4 of 7)
If you doubt that God has a sense of humor - look in a mirror :-)

Bwhahahahahahahahahaha.....thanks Roy.
User: Patty22
Member since: 03-29-2006
Total posts: 1194
From: mozeyrn
Date: 08-04-2006, 10:47 PM (5 of 7)
Thanks Chrys & Roy - I needed a laugh tonight.
DH just got home from being away for a week and then within 12 hours was back on the road to NJ where he'll be for three weeks. There was an emergency with one of the job sites there.
The silver lining is that he'll be staying in our NJ house finishing up a couple of things for the house/septic re-inspection. We're supposed to close beginning of September.
- Maureen.
Learning something new with every stitch!!
Kenmore 16231000
User: mozeyrn
Member since: 11-29-2005
Total posts: 349
From: Magot
Date: 08-17-2006, 02:23 PM (6 of 7)
Just found these Kath - much chuckling in the Hodge Household was heard.
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: needleface
Date: 09-04-2006, 03:27 PM (7 of 7)
LOL Thats Hilarious :smile:
User: needleface
Member since: 08-29-2006
Total posts: 7
Sew, What's Up
Search the “Sew What’s New” Archive:
Visit Sew What’s Up for the latest sewing and quilting tips and discussions.
This page was originally located on Sew What’s New ( at