From: Mom of Six
Date: 08-08-2006, 10:38 AM (1 of 4)
The Middle Wife (By an anonymous 2nd grade teacher)
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
myself, but the
best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade
classroom a few
years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always
have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place
boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school
about it, they're welcomed to.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing
her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother,
going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mom and Dad made him as a
of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke
there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not
and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh,
oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around
for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now this kid is doing a hysterical
and groaning. "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies,
doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom
down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case
thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming
away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,
breathe. ' They
started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,
my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said it was from
play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her
Happiness is having time to sew!!
User: Mom of Six
Member since: 11-03-2001
Total posts: 1115
Date: 08-08-2006, 07:22 PM (2 of 4)
Oh, too too funny!! ROFLMBO!! This one has to be passed around! Thanks for the laugh.
Member since: 12-02-2004
Total posts: 2345
Date: 08-09-2006, 07:54 AM (3 of 4)
|A performance like that deserves a standing ovulation||
Member since: 04-28-2006
Total posts: 25
Date: 08-13-2006, 03:34 PM (4 of 4)
I wanna play center like that one!!!!
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
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