Sew, What's Up

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The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: JennyAlice
Date: 09-19-2006, 04:12 PM (1 of 3)
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can understand them.

What's a man idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Now do men define a "50-50" relationship?
We cook/they eat; we clean/they dirty; we iron/they wrinkle.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

How do men exercise at the beach
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.

Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, at least women will ask for the directions.

Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a tot of time.

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
Exchange him.

Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract.

Why are husbands like Lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time .

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.

Now do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know -- it's never happened.

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise one egg?
They won't stop and ask for directions.

What's the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds eventually will mature.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all have boyfriends already.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate." -Charles Dickens
User: JennyAlice
Member since: 08-12-2006
Total posts: 29
From: Chrysantha
Date: 09-19-2006, 05:04 PM (2 of 3)
bwahahahahahahahahahaha...!:bg: :bg: :bg:
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: lendube
Date: 09-19-2006, 05:17 PM (3 of 3)
I am soooooooooooo glad I'm not a man!!!! (Except maybe for the menopause part!) :bg:
User: lendube
Member since: 08-06-2006
Total posts: 1548
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