Sew What’s Up Presents
The Sew What’s New Archive
This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and
quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was
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From: Chrysantha
Date: 10-21-2006, 12:51 AM (1 of 4)
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The Difference between Women and Men 1.NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Red, Peanut-Head and Puncho. 2.EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. 3.MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale 4.BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items 5.ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument. 6. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. 7.FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 8.SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 9.MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does. 10.DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and go to the grocery. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 11.NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. (Doesn't seem fair, does it!) 12.OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. 13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing. Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414 
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From: Magot
Date: 10-21-2006, 01:11 AM (2 of 4)
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I must send this to Fat-head!
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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From: DorothyL
Date: 10-21-2006, 10:16 AM (3 of 4)
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This is not a joke -- really. I saw it on the health report on television. They cited a story in a medical journal. A new study shows that testosterone kills brain cells! Really. I laughed so hard. Medical science is finally acknowledging something women have always known. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: mozeyrn
Date: 10-22-2006, 10:01 PM (4 of 4)
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Chrys - those were great!! LMAO for a few! My dh saw my electric razor today for the first time and asked, "What is that machine?" I'm not even gonna say what I was tempted to tell him (Mary would probably edit it anyhow). - Maureen.
Learning something new with every stitch!! Kenmore 16231000 |
User: mozeyrn
Member since: 11-29-2005 Total posts: 349 |
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