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From: Magot
Date: 10-22-2006, 02:31 PM (1 of 8)
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A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something, in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again." "Well," the doctor replies, "go home and tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and say something. If she doesn't reply, move about five feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so we can get an idea about the severity of her deafness." Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen and as she is chopping some vegetables, he says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He gets no response. He moves about five feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves five feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?" She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!" or indeed... A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ''Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.'' ''Well, how much does a brain cost?'' asked the relatives. ''For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,'' replied the doctor. Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, ''Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?'' ''Standard pricing practice,'' said the doctor. ''Women's brains have to be marked down because they've actually been used.'' love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626 
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From: Chrysantha
Date: 10-22-2006, 08:06 PM (2 of 8)
I'd already heard the 2nd joke...and it's good this time around too... You STILL have the #1 spot in the Jan Hall of Fame for Bad Jokes and Puns..  
Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414 
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From: Mom of Six
Date: 10-22-2006, 08:30 PM (3 of 8)
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I love the first one. My husband never hears what I say unless I am not talking to him.
Barb
Happiness is having time to sew!! |
User: Mom of Six
Member since: 11-03-2001 Total posts: 1115 
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From: Chrysantha
Date: 10-22-2006, 09:53 PM (4 of 8)
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Mine only hears the words, computer, blue screen of death, and those immortal words...theres nothing on t.v., leave it off...
Chrys
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User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002 Total posts: 2414
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From: DorothyL
Date: 10-23-2006, 08:56 AM (5 of 8)
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That first one "sounds" like my house. Dorothy |
User: DorothyL
Member since: 12-09-2002 Total posts: 3883 |
From: lsoutherla
Date: 10-23-2006, 12:31 PM (6 of 8)
| My house also. I'm told I have selective hearing. That may be so, but I swear my husband hears what I say, he just doesn't listen! |
User: lsoutherla
Member since: 05-04-2006 Total posts: 72 |
From: Magot
Date: 10-23-2006, 12:54 PM (7 of 8)
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Have you ever seen that Larson cartoon about what Dogs hear? "blah blahblahblahblahfoodblahblah sex "
love and kisses, Jan
Guts-R-Us Cells a Speciality DNA to order. |
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002 Total posts: 3626
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From: lendube
Date: 10-23-2006, 01:30 PM (8 of 8)
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I like the second one - absolute classic! My dh has the very annoying habits of 1) not finishing his sentences and leaving me hanging and then becoming irritated when I ask him for the rest...........  and 2) calling everyone "what's her (his) name" and leaving me to fill in the blank.  I think #2 is just a lazy habit. The name's not right there and he doesn't want to work for it. I very often know who he's talking about but act like I don't. And apparently all women "babble" about non important things............... 
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User: lendube
Member since: 08-06-2006 Total posts: 1548 |
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