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This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Chrysantha
Date: 02-13-2007, 12:22 AM (1 of 8)
The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkeypoop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beer s' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: HeyJudee
Date: 02-14-2007, 12:50 PM (2 of 8)
Just so you know...that wasn't me he was talking to for #1! LOL
TTFN from
User: HeyJudee
Member since: 01-25-2005
Total posts: 1366
From: Pudge99
Date: 02-14-2007, 01:12 PM (3 of 8)
OK so maybe there is no quota but something goes on the last week of every month. I don't care where I have lived be it Illinois, Florida, Germany, or Texas the police are more visible then and quite often they have someone pulled over.
Pictures of my successes and failures
Pfaff 2040
Janome Mylock 134D
Singer Futura CE-100 w/ Autopunch
Husqvarna Viking 3D Sketch
User: Pudge99
Member since: 10-30-2001
Total posts: 1375
From: Jeke
Date: 02-14-2007, 01:29 PM (4 of 8)
It seems they are never around when someone goes speeding by me. But I can guarantee if I were the one speeding by they would be there :whacky: That's also why I don't buy lottery tickets - I have a better chance of winning if I DON'T play:bg:

User: Jeke
Member since: 11-10-2004
Total posts: 232
From: Magot
Date: 02-14-2007, 04:20 PM (5 of 8) ,how many of those have you PERSONALLY heard Kath?:wink:
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: Chrysantha
Date: 02-14-2007, 09:25 PM (6 of 8)
ha...just #11
and I paid my speeding ticket last I need to sign up for online driving school, to take the points off my license....
I always tell the truth (yep I speed...) and I shake the officers hand afterwards. (he's usually shocked...)
But I really wish they'd catch the speeders who tailgait, and race...( not something I do...)
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: Magot
Date: 02-15-2007, 12:11 AM (7 of 8)
yeah, I guessed that one!:bg:
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: keljo60
Date: 02-17-2007, 03:08 PM (8 of 8)
I work in a prison and some of those could be used for the staff there!

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!
User: keljo60
Member since: 07-30-2006
Total posts: 154
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