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This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”
From: Reta J
Date: 03-20-2007, 04:39 PM (1 of 9)
I have two Labrador Retrievers and was buying a large
bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check
out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On
impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina
Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost
50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit
with tubes coming out of me all over the place and IVs
in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and
that the way that it works is to load your pants
pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it

I have to mention here that practically everyone in
the line was by now enthralled with my story,
particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she
asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no;
it was because I'd been barking in the street and a
car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack, he
was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Sewing Forever
Housework Whenever
Reta J
User: Reta J
Member since: 01-30-2002
Total posts: 136
From: Magot
Date: 03-20-2007, 05:09 PM (2 of 9)
snortle - Reta J . I would have been weeping!
love and kisses, Jan
Cells a Speciality
DNA to order.
User: Magot
Member since: 12-22-2002
Total posts: 3626
From: mommydionne
Date: 03-20-2007, 05:35 PM (3 of 9)
That is just tooooo funny!!!
User: mommydionne
Member since: 01-08-2004
Total posts: 838
From: Jeke
Date: 03-20-2007, 05:36 PM (4 of 9)
:bg: :bg: Oh, Reta, that is brilliant!

User: Jeke
Member since: 11-10-2004
Total posts: 232
From: HeyJudee
Date: 03-20-2007, 07:20 PM (5 of 9)
ROFL....Oh that is a good one....especially with the pet food problem going on now.
TTFN from
User: HeyJudee
Member since: 01-25-2005
Total posts: 1366
From: Chrysantha
Date: 03-20-2007, 08:34 PM (6 of 9)
too time I buy ferret food I'm gonna try that story...(the clerks at PetSmart...aren't all that brainy...hee hee...):bolt:
User: Chrysantha
Member since: 09-06-2002
Total posts: 2414
From: weezyrider
Date: 03-21-2007, 09:38 AM (7 of 9)
Where's the dietary list on Purina? Like how many calories, how much unsaturated fat, etc? Find that and you can spin an even more convincing story.

User: weezyrider
Member since: 08-19-2003
Total posts: 218
From: mozeyrn
Date: 03-21-2007, 06:13 PM (8 of 9)
I wouldn't have been able to say that with a straight face.
As I began to read your story I started thinking, "Oh no she didn't" and when I continued to read I realized you "did".
Did the woman eventually realize you were pulling her leg??
- Maureen.
Learning something new with every stitch!!
Kenmore 16231000
User: mozeyrn
Member since: 11-29-2005
Total posts: 349
From: Reta J
Date: 03-22-2007, 08:41 AM (9 of 9)
LOL okay I confess, I did not personally do this, I have done similar things, but not this. I found this on one of my other sites and my hubby and I thought it would be great to share it here.

I do have a habit of telling jokes in first person, makes them more personal, but did not mean to lead you all on that I had done this.

Sorry, now where is the pocket that has my kibbles and bits in it, I am getting hungary. :bg:
Sewing Forever
Housework Whenever
Reta J
User: Reta J
Member since: 01-30-2002
Total posts: 136
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