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The Sew What’s New Archive

This archived content is from Mary Wilkins’ sewing and quilting message board “Sew What’s New,” which was retired in August 2007. It is being provided by “Sew What’s Up,” which serves as the new home for many members of “Sew What’s New.”

Sew What's New Archive > JOKES AND QUIPS > My kind of doctor.

From: lendube

Date: 07-11-2007, 12:51 PM (1 of 4)

> > > HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
> > >
> > > Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
> > > true?
> > >
> > > A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't
> > > waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
> > > your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
> > > extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
> > > Take a nap.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: Should I cut down on meat and
> > > eat more fruits and vegetables?
> > >
> > > A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
> > > corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
> > > efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
> > > Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
> > > vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
> > > allowance of vegetable products.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
> > >
> > > A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
> > > that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
> > > more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made
> > > out of grain. Bottoms up!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
> > >
> > > A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
> > > If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
> > > exercise program?
> > >
> > > A: Can't think of a single one, sorry My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
> > >
> > > A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
> > > In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting
> > > more vegetables be bad for you?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
> > > middle?
> > >
> > > A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
> > > should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
> > >
> > > A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best
> > > feel-good food around!!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
> > >
> > > A: If swimming is good for your
> > > figure, explain whales to me.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
> > > A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
> > > about food and diets.

User: lendube
Member since: 08-06-2006
Total posts: 1548

From: Jeke

Date: 07-11-2007, 01:56 PM (2 of 4)

Fits right in with the Seefood diet! See food and eat it :up: